


Ride with the Kelpie

by SuspiciousLandlady



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Mythology, Blood, Blood festival, Creepy, Dreams and Nightmares, Drinking, Humor, Jean's grumpy as usual, Kelpies, Lack of Sleep, M/M, Missing Persons, Mysterious atmosphere, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Secrets, Spooky horse, Strange Behavior, Summer, Swearing, alternative universe, fatigue, things are getting scary
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-03-28 20:11:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 92,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3868225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuspiciousLandlady/pseuds/SuspiciousLandlady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The summer is finally here and everyone are excited except one person: Jean Kirschtein. He doesn't have any plans for summer because he isn't really one of those guys who likes to socialize. He prefers spending time alone as much as possible. However everything starts to change when suddenly at the beginning of the summer Jean notices a stranger he hasn't seen before. It's weird because everyone knows each other in this tiny town. It gets even weirder when this guy seems to be so familiar but Jean doesn't know why. He's sure he has seen this new guy before, he can't just remember and recognize him. His interest wakes and, to his surprise, it's first time when he wants to socialize and get to know with someone.</p><p>Mysterious disappearances terrorize the town. People go missing and no one knows what had happened to them, because none of them have been found. The pitch black horse starts to visit Jean's house and no matter what he does, the horse comes back every night. Something dangerous is living in the town.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up, ride with the kelpie.  
> I'll steal your soul to the deep.  
> If you don't ride with me while the devil's free  
> I'll ride with somebody else.  
> ~ Jethro Tull - Kelpie

Have you ever been at the point when it feels like you've forgotten something? Something what seems to be very important, but you just can't remember what it was? I've been on that point many long years, I know and I feel like I should remember something but I don't know what. It feels like I can't remember someone. Someone who should be remembered.

Summer had just started and everyone were enjoying nice holiday. The holiday we all deserved after hard and painful school year. My friends had dozens of plans, they were excited and telling everyone what they were going to do. Then there was me, Jean Kirschtein, who didn't have any plans for the summer. I knew my friends wouldn't let me slouch the whole summer. There was no way in hell that Reiner or Connie or Sasha would let me stay home alone.

It was nice Sunday, the sun was shining and everyone felt more energetic than ever. Even the kids in the neighborhood were louder than usual, screaming and laughing and probably making sure that no one slept too long. That's right, I was awakened that way.

My attempt to fall asleep again failed because someone was missing me. My phone was victim of large SMS wave. I didn't even have to guess who was making that bomb. It was probably Connie fucking Springer, he surely enjoyed messing with other people's poor phones and annoying everyone.

I growled and turned to my side, trying to catch that sweet dream I was having during the night. Ignoring my phone was a bad mistake, because it wasn't long until the door of my room was kicked open and the devil himself entered.

"Are you still sleeping? It's almost 1 PM, you gotta be kidding me! Wake up, we're going in public and guess what? YES! You're going to socialize too! Can't let you mildew here." Connie announced and when I didn't respond, he took my duvet and tore it away from me while I made sounds that resembled something like dying whale noises.

"Connie I'm not in the mood!" I finally shouted, but he laughed and started to tear me away from the soft bed. "You're never in the mood! Let's go you grumpy fart, you need to socialize before they think you've gone missing too."

Lately our little town had been turning into eerie and scary place. For some reason people have gone missing and I bet no one knows why. Most of these missing persons are children, but also adults have disappeared . None of them have been found yet. I bet they will never be found. Only things like pieces of clothes have been found, that's all.

My fighting spirit was still asleep, so I had no choice than lose and get up. Connie wasn't going to let me stay here, I knew it and he knew it as well.

Stepping out of the house was the biggest mistake I've ever done. The sun was bright and I was sure I was going to get blind. Connie just laughed and told me I'm such a big baby. Yeah, maybe I am. I can't deny it, I can act like a baby time to time. I can be annoying as hell and that's why people don't like me. I get easily into fights and I don't really care what I let out from the sweet mouth of mine. I'm such a problem maker.

Sasha was waiting on the street and when she saw me, she cheered and praised Connie. "You're the master of the universe! Waking up the angry dragon in its dungeon, that's not something just anyone can do!" She giggled and started to walk. Yes, better go before I'm going to kill her. Connie laughed at her words and followed her, making sure that I was walking with them. He knew if there was even a tiniest chance, I'd use it and leave before they would realize it.

We walked past the park where children were playing. It was depressing, children were careless and they didn't have to deal with big problems or have any responsibilities. Sometimes it would be nice to be as carefree like the children in the park are.

I noticed a guy sitting alone in the park, looking like he was daydreaming or lost to his thoughts. He looked like he was stranger, I was sure I hadn't seen him around here. Trust me, this town isn't that big and everyone knows each other. Even if you didn't want to, you still knew almost everyone. That's why the stranger stole my interest.

He didn't look like he was a lot older than me but then again, he was sitting in the park and I was standing in the street. We had long distance so it might make trick or two. I don't know why but I was sure that he wasn't much older. He looked lonely. He was staring at the grass, letting his messy black hair hide his face. Was he upset or something?

What the hell is wrong with me? I usually hate everyone and everyone hates me. I didn't get interested in others, people are idiots. This guy was an exception. While staring at him, I felt like I knew him. It was odd, I was sure I hadn't seen him before, but the warm feeling inside me was trying to tell me different.

I bet he noticed my stare, because suddenly he lifted himself, finding better sitting position on the bench and then his eyes met with my eyes. He was looking straight on me, ignoring all screaming and laughing children and ignoring the world around us. I was sure I knew him from somewhere, I don't know why it felt like that but I couldn't help it. It was the feeling what was taking the control of me.

"Jean! I know you tried to escape again!" Connie's voice woke me from my thoughts and I winced when he slammed his hand on my shoulder. "What? No I just... thought I saw someone familiar." I knew Connie wasn't going to eat that crap. He wasn't going to believe me. Still he let his gaze wander around the area before he was staring at me, looking confused and unbelieving.

"You sure? Everyone is already waiting us." He asked and tilted his head. I turned my gaze back to the park, but the bench was now empty. The stranger had disappeared and I was little bit disappointed. "....Nevermind. Let's go." I finally said, shrugging my shoulders and then walking again, following Connie. Sasha was waiting us and when we got closer, she asked why we had stopped.

When Connie and Sasha invited everyone into the public, it was always sure that they had decided to go to the ice cream bar. I didn't mind though, the bar had the best ice creams you've ever tasted and after eating there once, you'd refuse to eat any other if there was a chance to go to that bar.

Reiner and Bertholdt were already waiting us there. They greeted cheerfully and told us that they were waiting us before ordering anything. How thoughtful.

After ordering ice creams, we sat down to our usual spot, close to the window. Sasha and Connie started to devour their portions while me, Reiner and Bertholdt ate slowly and enjoyed every single spoonful. To be honest, I thought it wasn't that bad after all getting up and going out to socialize.

Reiner was joking about the same thing what Sasha had before, about how Connie earned a medal for waking me up. "Oh shut up..." I growled but I was ignored, both Reiner and Connie laughing at me and my grumpiness. Sasha giggled and looked at me. I'm glad that at least Bertholdt was the only one who didn't laugh at me, he just smiled his usual apologize smile.

I didn't care íf they laughed at me. I knew it was just their way to care and they made fun of everyone in this tiny group of friends. It was something that wasn't worth to get angry for. They didn't mean anything bad, it was harmless.

Soon the relaxed atmosphere changed to silence and their laugh stopped. I was surprised, because these were rare moments when something like that happened. Reiner cleared his throat and glanced Bertholdt, before his gaze was back to me, Connie and Sasha.

"Did you guys hear the news?" He asked, his voice was serious and the look in his eyes was somehow melancholy. I tilted my head and turned my gaze to Bertholdt. He was silent, watching his empty bowl before he lifted his gaze to me. "Hah?" I said and looked Reiner again. Connie and Sasha were silent now, staring at Reiner and waiting him to continue.

Reiner leaned closer to us and then whispered. "There's new missing person. You know Mina Carolina? Her little sister disappeared two days ago. Yesterday they found her other shoe and blood traces. Whatever happened, it's sure that she's not alive. Everyone believes she's been kidnapped and killed."

The colour was escaping from Connie's face and Sasha looked like she had seen a ghost. I was sure I looked like her too. I didn't know Mina or her little sister that well, but I had seen them both and it felt impossible. There was no way that something like that had happened. Reiner's tone in his voice told us that he wasn't joking.

"Another missing person? That's... Isn't that like the third case in this month? Where are they disappearing..." I wondered, gazing at Reiner at the same time. He shrugged his shoulders and leaned on the table with his elbows. "I don't know. Pretty creepy, isn't it? Like they're disappearing into thin air."

Sasha and Connie discussed their theories about what was making people disappear. "What if there's a murderer living in this town?" Sasha wondered and Connie was a little bit too excited to talk and think possibilities. A little bit after that they went to order second portions.

"I hope their brains will freeze", I gnarled and shook my head. I still can't understand how they can be scared to shitless at first and then act like it was nothing the second after.

Still there was a point in their stories. It was like a murderer had moved here. Except that the disappearances started to happen long, long ago, it's been like three years if I can remember right. No wait, now that I'm trying to, I can remember how my mom used to told me to get early home when I was a snotty-nose brat. They have happened that long? Shit, that's indeed pretty long time.

"What do you guys think?" I asked and looked at Reiner and Bertholdt. They both took a glance of each other, before they turned their gazes back to me. I tilted my head again, waiting patiently for their answer.

"I'm not sure but I once heard my granny talking about this. She's blaming some kind of mythological creature for doing this", Bertholdt answered and moved his gaze to the window. He was staring at the passing people, ruminative expression on his face. He was thinking, maybe wondering about this thing or maybe just remembering what his grandmother had told.

"Really? That sounds... weird?" I commented and snorted. Mythological creature? Oh, give me a break. That's some supernatural shit there. I didn't want to say it loud though, I didn't want to insult Bertholdt. After all, he was my friend and even if I had a bad mouth, I understood too well that sometimes it was better to stay silent. Bertholdt didn't deserve insulting, he was nice and friendly guy. He was one of the first people who let me join their group.

"What kind of creature is doing something like this? Has she ever told that?" Reiner asked and he looked like he was really interested to hear more. To be honest, I was interested too. If someone really thought that some kind of creature was doing this, I'd really like to know what was this thing.

Bertholdt turned his gaze back to us and sighed. "I'm no sure either but she told once that she's thinking that we're having a kelpie problem." I and Reiner probably looked like idiots, staring at Bertholdt like two dumb kids waiting for him to continue.

"What is it? What is this kelpie thing?" Reiner asked, but Bertholdt shook his head. "I don't know, she didn't describe it. She's refusing to visit us, she's really thinking that it's the problem and she is afraid. She doesn't want to tell more though." Bertholdt explained quickly.

"What did we miss?" Sasha asked after returning with her new ice cream portion. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing. We we're talking about boring stuff." I quickly answered and glanced Reiner and Bertholdt with a gaze what told them to not tell what Bertholdt had told. If Connie and Sasha heard about it, oh what joy it would be, they wouldn't let it sink. They would speak about it and maybe even try to find this fucking creature. Oh boy, what a joy it would be.

Our meeting in the ice cream bar was coming to the end. We chatted a lot, forgetting soon the disappearing of Mina Carolina's little sister. I listened again how they told their plans for the summer and just stared the window. It was getting quiet, not so many people invaded the streets or walked outside. The sun was still up and it was almost evening. Most of the families were probably eating a dinner or something.

On my way to home, I decided to visit the park.

I was walking down the street, thinking about our earlier talk with Reiner and Bertholdt, until I noticed that there were still people in the park, still children playing there. Oh god, I wasn't in the mood to deal with noisy kids. Something woke my interest suddenly.

It was the same dude, sitting on the bench and just daydreaming. What an airhead. My feet started to walk and I lost control of my body completely. I was walking toward the wooden bench where he was sitting. I dodged couple of running kids, ignored if their parents took a glances of me. There wasn't any other free benches, so there was a good reason to sit next to that guy.

I greeted him and sat down. He didn't answer, I bet he hadn't even noticed me. I snorted and glared the playing children. They were noisy, they were annoying. I fucking hated them. I didn't have anything against kind and well-mannered children, but oh god when they were little monsters, I would even sell my soul to satan if he offered that he'd give me peace and freedom from those brats.

The guy next to me finally woke from his daydreams. He lifted his gaze from the grass and noticed me sitting next to him. It made him wince. What the fuck? I wasn't that scary, that's rude.

He turned his head toward me and I did the same. The more I stared at his face, the more familiar it felt. Weird, but I wasn't still able to recognize him. His eyes were dark brown, like chocolate. His skin was a little bit tanned, or more like olive skin, and there was nice amount of freckles on his face. His hair was pitch black and his gaze... oh my god. His gaze was soft, warm, familiar. I'm one hundred per cent sure I've seen him before. Fuck, why can't I remember where I have seen him? Why is he so familiar? What is going on?

"Haven't seen you around here. I'm Jean. Who are you?" I asked. Smooth, Jean, where is this courage coming from? I usually hate new people and introducing myself to the strangers. Why was this guy so different, why it was so easy to speak to him even though I didn't know him?

His smile deepened, I was fucking sure for a moment he was looking at me like he had seen something what he hadn't seen for a long time. Well that's creepy, what is this guy's problem?

Then his smile disappeared and he moved his gaze away from me. He murmured something but I didn't quite catch it. Can you at least look at me while you speak? Can you speak louder?

"What? Sorry, I didn't catch it", I said, my voice's tone now a little bit annoyed. The guy looked like he had came from under the bridge. He was only wearing green hoodie, old jeans and worn out sneakers. Maybe he didn't have money to buy better clothes, maybe that's why I haven't seen him around here before. Maybe he really is living under the bridge or somewhere alike, maybe he was a vagrant or a bum. I had no idea.

He turned his gaze to me again. "My name is Marco." Marco... Marco. That name somehow fit him, I don't even know how the name can fit someone. It just felt like he was meant to be Marco. Ah I'm being an jackass again. It doesn't matter what his name is.

"Okay... Marco. Nice to meet you", I said and the smile returned to his lips. I don't know but the longer I stared at his eyes, the more it felt like I wanted to know him better. Like he was drawing me closer. I don't know why, but something in this Marco guy was fascinating. Really fascinating.

"Nice to meet you too", he answered, smiling again and his sweet voice was extremely kind. I wondered why he was sitting here alone. It was Sunday after all and many people spent their afternoon with their families. Me? Oh noh, my parents are too busy. They're working hard at the moment and they unfortunately don't have time to stay at home. Usually I'm not abandoned like I am now, but hey, I'm not little kid anymore. I can take care of myself.

"I saw you earlier. Have you been here all day?" I asked and then moved my gaze to the sky. It was getting cloudier, maybe it was going to rain tonight. "Yes. This park is pretty good place to be when you're trying to think, don't you think?" Marco said and lifted his gaze to the sky too. I hummed and nodded. Yeah, if you ignored the noisy kids, then yes, this place was a great choice for thinking.

We stayed silent, watching the sky and wondering our own things. Even if Marco wasn't saying anything, I could feel that he was indeed thinking something important. "Do you live close?" I finally asked. Marco's gaze fell to me, I could feel it. He was staring at me.

Then his gaze fell to the grass and he nodded. Really? Well then, I will make sure that we will meet again. I wanted to know more this Marco character. Why he felt so familiar even though I wasn't able to connect him with my memories?

"I hope we meet again, then. Maybe here. I don't know, but I think I have to go now", I said hastily and stood up. I was little surprised that Marco stood up as well and looked at me. There was that same, friendly smile again and he nodded. "I hope it too. It was nice to talk with you, Jean."

I smiled to him and nodded. "Yeah, it was nice to meet you too, Marco. See you soon again." I started to walk toward the entrance of the park, but I could still feel his eyes on my back, he was probably staring at me.

Marco.... what a mysterious person. I don't know but I sure as hell wanted to get to know him. So familiar, it was a little bit scary.

At the night I was surfing on the net before I was going to bed. I tried to search if Marco had any social media or anything, but it was hard. He didn't told me his surname. How can I find him if I don't know his surname? No fucking idea but I tried. And I ended up finding nothing, like I had expected. Ugh, maybe next time I should ask his surname as well.

I talked with Reiner and Bertholdt through the facebook. Facebook, I know, pretty lame. We had our own group chat because I didn't want to speak on the other chat where Connie and Sasha were as well. Why? Because if they found out I met this Marco dude today, they wouldn't shut up for a second.

I tried to ask if Reiner or Bertholdt knew this Marco guy. For my disappointment, none of them knew him. They hadn't even heard of him before. That's strange. Everyone here knew almost everyone, in one way or the other. Maybe Marco was, after all, a bum who lived under the bridge. Okay, that was mean. It wasn't his fault if he really was living there? You can't blame him if he didn't have a house or money?

Reiner and Bertholdt were chatting a lot together on the group chat when I started to ignore them. I was thinking about Marco. The guy seemed to be a little bit sad about something. Yeah, he was smiling but his gaze was sometimes sorrowful. What had happened to him? I really wanted to know.

When the bling voices from the chat came louder and more annoying, I checked what those two dorks were talking. To my surprise, they were wondering again the disappearances and they were like Connie and Sasha, making their own theories about what was causing them.

Suddenly I remembered what Bertholdt had told us on the ice cream bar. His grandmother believed that some kind of mythological creature was messing up with this town. What was it again? Oh, yeah. Kelpie.

I was bored and I didn't have anything to do, so I just decided to google it. At first the page was full of pictures of dogs. What the fuck? Oh. There's a dog breed called Australian kelpie or simply just kelpie. Okay then, but I don't think Bertholdt's granny meant these dogs. Those dogs are cute though..... Okay Jean, focus. It's not time to look the pictures of dogs.

There was a wikipedia article for the dog breed, but then my eyes focused onto the other wikipedia article. It was simply just kelpie. Okay...

I started to read it and soon found out that the kelpie is from the celtic mythology. It was a water spirit, usually taking a shape of a horse. It lured people onto its back and drowned its victims. Wow, that's creepy. I got pretty bored and closed the article. Okay, that's so weird. Who the fuck would believe those kind of things anyway? Bertholdt's granny seemed to believe it. I call it bullshit.

* * *

_Something was chasing me. I don't know what it was, I didn't want to look behind. Whatever it was, I knew that if I wouldn't try to escape, it would kill me. It was going to kill me, that's why it was chasing me. My legs were cramping, I don't know how long I've been running. Everything was dark, except the tiny source of light what was waiting me ahead. I tried to reach it, tried to get out of the darkness._

_The light grew bigger the closer I get. I reached my hand, I was trying to touch it. I was so close. I heard how whatever was chasing me started to slow down. Yes! I was going to escape, I was going to live. Soon I was out of the darkness, yelling because I was excited. Everything was so bright, I was sure I was going to blind._

_Then there was a loud splash and next thing I knew was that I was under the water. It was scary, water was dark and I had no idea what was going on. The only thing what my brain told me to do was to swim._

_I was trying to swim, trying to reach the surface of the water. I felt how my lungs were starting to fill from the water. It was dark and cold. I was shivering and trying my best to stay alive._

_When I finally was able to breath air, I looked around. I was on the lake or something, I'm not even sure what it was. It didn't look familiar. All I soon saw was the landing stage. My panic was trying to calm down and I started to swim toward the floating platform._

_My hand barely touched the wooden pillar when I felt hellish pain in my other leg. Something pulled me back under the water. I tried to squirm, I tried to get it off but the pain was shooting all over my body. I coughed, my lungs were now filling with the water again. Someone please... help me._

* * *

I have no idea what woke me up but I was very happy about it. Oh god, what a nightmare. I reached to look what time it was. It was almost two, in the middle of freaking night. I sighed and tried to sleep again.

I was almost asleep when I heard some strange voices outside. I was silent, waiting them to go away or being just something I imagined, but then it was there again. The strange voice was there again.

"If it's Connie or Sasha, get the fuck out, I don't want to get up!" I shouted. It wouldn't be the first time when those two idiots were trying to mess with me during the small hours, trying to scare the shit out of me. They had done it before and thought it was really funny. You know what? Yeah, it's not. I'm not in the mood for this kind of bullshit.

The voice came again and now I was seriously pissed off. If those two wouldn't stop it, I was going to open the window and throw something to them, hoping that it would break their skulls or something. "For the last fucking time, get the hell out of my backyard! It's two in the middle of fucking night, get lost!" I shouted.

Everything was silent and I thought they had given up and left. I was trying to search comfortable position on my bed, when I suddenly heard sad whimpers. Okay, what the actual fuck was that?

I got up and the first thing I got into my hand was a school book. Well, I don't need it anyway so it will be perfect for this. I pulled the curtains out of my way and opened the window, not even taking any glance of the backyard. Good thing that my room was on the second floor, it was easier to hit the target.

"I fucking warned you guys but you didn't listened. This is what you get when you--" My threat was cut off when my eyes found the source of the voices. The colors on my face started to escape, my stomach was feeling heavy. I felt how the fear was growing inside me. "What the fuck you want?!" I didn't even recognize my voice. It was high-pitched, far different from my usual voice.

It was standing on the backyard, its head lifted from the ground. Its eyes were all white, there wasn't anything else beside the white color. Its ears were turned forward and even though it was dark, I knew it was staring at me with those eerie white eyes.

It was a black horse. It was standing on our backyard. It was staring at me. _I felt its gaze._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone and thank you for reading the first chapter of my new multichapter fic, Ride with the Kelpie.  
> You might remember me from my other fic: Twinkle, Twinkle, Little star. It's still going on, so I'm writing 2 fics at the same time.  
> I'm not really proud of this first chapter, but my goal is to write at least 10k words chapters in the future. I'm sorry for this short chapter, first chapters are always hard to write :D
> 
> My lovely friend is still my beta-reader, all hail the mighty Repesso who's sacrificing her freetime just to correct my nasty mistakes and typos. I love you my friend, I hope you know how grateful I am! 
> 
> So the first chapter gave you hints about what kind of story this is going to be ^_^ I hope you guys are as excited as I am.  
> The feedback is always very welcome, I like to know what did you guys think about the chapter. If you find typos or some crazy shit, feel free to tell them as well ^^
> 
> [My tumblr](http://suspiciouslandlady.tumblr.com/)  
> [My beta-reader's tumblr](http://repesso.tumblr.com/)


	2. Sweet Dreams (are made of this)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That night I was glad that I didn't saw any kind of nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Sweet dreams are made of this_   
>  _Who am I to disagree?_   
>  _I travel the world_   
>  _And the seven seas_   
>  _Everybody's looking for something_
> 
>  
> 
> _Marilyn Manson - Sweet Dreams (are made of this)_

You know what fucking sucks? The fact that you're living in the outskirts of the town. Yes, our tiny little neighborhood is nice and peaceful when the brats aren't playing outside, but this is just too much.

The black horse stood there, listening how I was muttering things to myself. It didn't even wince when I tried to drive it away. I'm too tired for this, I just want to sleep but that thing is probably going to continue if I just close the window and head back to the bed. It clearly wanted attention.

"Where did you came from? That doesn't matter. Why are you here? Shoo! Get lost, I don't like horses!"

If horses could laugh, I bet that horse would be laughing at the moment. Okay, maybe it was a tiny white lie. I didn't hate horses, they're beautiful animals, but I don't really enjoy being in contact with them. And I think they hate me too, always trying to bite me if they have a chance, so nope. I won't go closer to them anymore.

"It's two in the middle of the night, I want to sleep. Get lost, shoo! Shoo! Or, or I'll throw this book toward you. I won't hesitate, go away", I tried again. Why did I even try to speak to that horse? It doesn't understand, it can't speak. Nice job Jean, you're doing the same thing all girls do, talking to their pets in an overly affectionate way and forgetting the fact that it's an animal. After all, it doesn't give a shit because it doesn't understand, no matter whether you talked to them with a mushy way or shouted to them.

I leaned my elbows against the wooden windowsill and groaned. What have I done to deserve this? I could still feel how it was staring at me and it sent shivers down my spine. I don't know what's worse, the eerie horse staring at me in the middle of the night or two friends trying to scare the shit out of me, again, in the middle of the night. Well, I didn't see any sign of Connie or Sasha, I bet they don't have anything to do with this freaking horse deal.

Trying to think while you're tired isn't the best thing to do. I tried to think some good reason what would explain what's going on. I know there is a horse stall not so far away, but I've never actually heard that they had problems with escaping horses. I've heard that they took good care of their animals, it didn't feel like that black horse was from there. Should I go tomorrow there and ask if they've lost any horses? I ran my hand couple of times through my hair and sighed.

For a moment, I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the cold night air. It wasn't that freezing, but it felt so damn good. The days started to be hotter and hotter, it was nice change that nights were cooler and it didn't feel like you were burning in oven. Summer wasn't bad after all. Well, except the stupid insects like flies and mosquitoes. They tried to ruin everything. Little bastards.

My thoughts were disrupted when the sad whimper came from the backyard. I opened my eyes and looked the horse. It had turned around and was taking slow steps toward the forest what was close to our house.

"What? So now you will go away voluntarily? Good! Don't come back, go back home. Don't ever come back again", I shouted and I could feel the grin what was getting wider on my face. Finally! It was about time. I watched how the animal walked slowly away, but suddenly it stopped and took its last glances of me and our house. Then the horse lifted its head and looked at the sky. A sad whimper. Then another.

I winced when the horse let out a loud, high-pitched voice what was closer to a shriek than any other voice. Not even neigh, hell no, that horse hadn't let any kind of neigh during its visit here. It'd only let whimpers and now some kind of scream. What the hell? I didn't even know that horses could make those kind of sounds.

The pitch black horse rose up on its hind legs, its forelegs pawing the air for a moment until it was standing with all of its legs again and then the horse disappeared into the darkness, galloping to the forest. I couldn't hear its steps anymore, but the last scream came from the forest. Then everything was calming down.

I must have looked like a fool, standing there like a stone and staring at the dark forest. What the hell just happened?

* * *

 

I woke up in the morning, wondering if I just had seen some kind of dream or something. There wasn't any logical reason why a horse would have been on our backyard at the middle of the night. That didn't make any sense.

To my surprise, it was nearly eleven a.m. I didn't even know I could wake up this early without help of any kind of alarm clock. The sun was already up and my room was brighter than usual. I had forgot to pull back the curtains. The air in my room was fresh and little cool and when I turned my head to the direction of the window, I'm sure my jaw dropped. The window was open, no, it was wide-open. I never kept my window open during the nights, even if my room needed fresh air, I just stubbornly kept it closed.

My school book was lying on the windowsill, the same stupid book I'd grabbed when I thought Sasha and Connie were trying to trick me.

Wait, so it wasn't actually a dream? I jumped to my feet and moved to the wide-open window. The morning air was cool, but you'd feel that it was going to be warm day. The air was going to be thick and everyone were going to sweat like pigs. Perfect, what a lovely day. My gaze started to wander around the backyard and examining it. No sign of the last night's visitor.

I yawned and my field of vision went blurry, my tired eyes watered a little bit. Oh man, I was still tired but no one could sleep when the whole room was bright like this. I rubbed my eyes and when my vision became clear again, I noticed something weird on the ground. I wasn't really sure what it was, but it wasn't any normal plant on our backyard. I was so focused that I didn't even change my clothes, I ran head over heels to downstairs and opened our backdoor, moving closer to the weird green thing.

The green thing was lying there, in the middle of our backyard. It looked slimy so I didn't really wanted to touch it. I took the closest stick and thrust it under the green plant, soon lifting it up. "Huh.. it's a seaweed..." I said to myself and tilted my head, watching the green plant what was now hanging on the stick. I had no idea why there was a seaweed or where it came from, but staring at it made me feel like I was five years old. Oh dear lord, I am literally here on squatting position, lifting a stick where the seaweed was hanging and staring at it like I've never seen such a plant. What is wrong with me?

I heard annoying laughter and turned my head toward it. One of the neighbors kids was watching me and laughing loudly. I ignored the brat, because when I stood up again, I realized that the grass had traces. It had horse's hoof traces here and there, like there's been a horse walking around. Okay, is this some kind of hint that the horse was real? That's it, this is ridiculous. I'll go to that stupid horse stable and tell them to keep better look at their horses. I threw the stick away and walked back inside, murmuring something about how I was glad that at least the horse hadn't left any regards to our yard, at least I didn't see any pile of shit. That'd have been a piece de resistance.

After eating a small breakfast and changing clothes I was ready to go. There was no need to drive there, it was easier to walk and I wanted to save gas. Besides if I started to drive everywhere, I'd soon become too lazy and you know what happens when you're just lazing around. So, even though I was already lazy couch potato, I didn't want to become more lazier than what I already was. And that sounded stupid, gosh I'm not making any sense.

I kept my gaze on the ground, not wanting to attract any more attention than what I had got before. Yes, I bet that stupid brat had already told everyone how there was a weirdo living right next to him. I don't even know how old the neighborhood's kids are. Do I even need that information? I don't think so, so I don't really care.

The more I walked, the more the world around me started to change. My tiny neighborhood was already behind, far away. I regretted that I didn't bring a water bottle with me, it was getting hotter and I was already thirsty. Damn it.

My thoughts were disrupted when I heard clopping somewhere close. I had already turned to the dirt road what was leading to the only horse stable I knew here. Clopping was getting louder and when I turned around, I saw how white horse was coming toward me, trotting and the rider on its back bouncing a lot in the rhythm of the animal's movements. I was ready to jump out of their way, but instead the horse slowed and started to walk. I knew the girl who was leading the horse. We all knew her, she was at the same school.

"Oh, Jean. I wouldn't have guessed that you'd come here, how are you?" the blonde girl asked and stopped her horse. Her blue eyes were on me and she had her sweet and innocent smile on her face. She must have been enjoyed her ride. Her name is Historia Reiss, but she prefers Krista more, so we called her Krista. Her family had a passion toward horses and they sometimes taught horseman skills to the kids. I had been there couple of times when I was young, because during that time Sasha's hobby had been riding and she always took us here with her, she wanted us to watch how she was trying to ride the most stubborn pony you'd ever seen. It always ended with the animal's victory.

"Hi Krista. I'm fine, but I have something I'd like to ask you", I said nervously and scratched my cheek. At first she looked surprised, but then she got off of her horse's back and walked next to me. She was studying my face for a moment, looking worried and confused, until the smile came back to her face and she nodded.

"Sure, ask anything you want. Do you want something to drink? You look exhausted." Oh Krista, you must be goddess. It was almost like she had read my thoughts. I nodded and started to walk with her. The horse was walking behind us, listening the voices around us and then it let soft neigh after we got closer to the stable and the pastures. Three horses were enjoying the hot day in one of the pastures and when they noticed Krista's horse, they greeted it with neighs and tossing their heads.

"Wait a little, I'll let her go to enjoy this beautiful day too", Krista said and disappeared into the stable with her white horse. I leaned against the wall and waited. I knew it would take long, she probably groomed her precious animal before she let it free to the pasture.

I tried to be patient, but it was hard. I wasn't really patient person, more like impatient who didn't like to wait too long. I was getting grumpier, when suddenly I saw it and oh my, please help me. The big, fluffy cat came out of nowhere, okay I bet it came from the corner of the stable, and moved closer to me. No Jean, you must resist. Don't do it. The cat had other plans though. It tried to get my attention, leaning against my feet and seeking pettings. No, I won't lose... then my gaze fell onto it. The cat sat in front of me, staring at me and then it used its secret weapon. Sweet and soft meow was on the air and I melted. I couldn't resist anymore.

"Aww, who are you and where did you came from? Can I take you home?" I didn't even recognize my voice. I started to pet the feline and I was sure I sold my soul to Lucifer when it started to purr. It's so cute and soft and lovely I think I'm turning into teenage girl, I'm going to speak to it in an overly affectionate way what was something I hated so much.

The cat sure as hell looked really proud of itself when I was stroking its fluffy fur and smiling like an idiot. Okay, I didn't really care about horses but cats on the other hand.... they're my weakness. Especially the big and fluffy ones.

I heard giggles behind me and turned quickly, seeing that Krista was ready and waiting me. My cheeks felt warmer than usual and I was sure they were reddish. It's that sun, okay? That damn thing is burning my face to look like a tomato.

Krista went inside the house and soon she came back with two big glasses, full of water. I thanked her when she gave me the other glass and I quickly drank the elixir of life. It was so refreshing, I'm still sure Krista is a goddess. She's beautiful cinnamon roll, too good for this world.

We sat on the porch and enjoyed the cold water. The cat decided to show up again and it jumped onto my lap, begging more attention again. And that's why I tried to resist its powers! Once you surrender and pet it like you're its slave, you'll eventually become its slave for the rest of your life. Ugh, now I'm going to be this kitty's slave. Krista laughed, even her laugh was so pure that I really started to wonder was she even real.

"So, you wanted to ask something?" Krista remembered after she calmed down and smiled to me. Oh yeah, I almost forgot why I even came here. 

"Yes. I was just wondering that didn't your dad bought a new horse recently?" Way to go Jean, I'm going to make myself fool in front of Krista, of all the people. She tilted her head and watched me with her baby blue eyes, until she turned her gaze away and she looked like she was thinking.

"Yes... It's not so long ago. Why? Are you interested to give a chance to riding again? I know you like it so much." She grinned and it felt so weird to see her grinning like that. Maybe she wasn't too pure for this world, maybe even the goddess Krista had her own dark side.

I shook my head quickly. "No, no, I'm not interested to get back onto the horse's back. There's just something what happened and I'm curious. How it looks like?" I was trying to avoid her gaze now. I didn't want to see more if she decided to show her dark side again. I think her grin already has burnt to my retina, thank you Krista very much about that.

"It's gorgeous. It's black as darkness and it looks so proud, it looks like it knows how gorgeous it is. I don't even wonder why my dad bought it even though we already have nice amount of horses. It must have been love at the first sight", Krista said and giggled again.

"Is it pitch black? No socks or anything, just black?" I asked hastily. Krista turned her head toward me and gave me questioning look. "No, it has big white socks on every leg."

I felt disappointment in my chest. Damn it, it almost matched with the horse what was on our backyard last night. What the hell, what now? If it wasn't the Reiss family's horse, then who is its owner and why it was wandering alone?

"Jean, is everything okay?" Krista's voice woke me from my thoughts and I nodded as an answer. "Yeah... Everything's fine. I was just wondering, got lost in my thoughts..." I muttered but I think she wasn't going to leave the subject alone. The cat on my lap wanted more and more attention even though I was already petting it as much as I could. How greedy is this cat? Can it be satisfied? Maybe not.

"I was just wondering if one of your horses escaped from the pasture. I was sure there was... well, a horse on our backyard last night. I thought I was just dreaming the whole thing but it can't be dream, there're traces on the backyard. It was pitch black horse and I thought it might be one of yours", I explained after getting tired of Krista's worried gaze. I didn't want to worry her, I didn't want to worry anyone. I didn't want to be a burden to them or anything like that. But the unknown horse was driving me mad already. Why I was even annoyed by that thing? Oh yeah, because it was making noises and didn't let me sleep. What an asshole horse.

"Huh... that's weird. Jean, I'm sure none of our horses have been on the run, none of them has never been. That sounds weird, I thought there wasn't any other private stables around here." I sighed and nodded, I couldn't try to turn her point into any other way. I trusted her word. "Thanks anyway. I just hope that the horse found its way to home, I don't want it to come back and keep me awake again."

We sat there in silence. The cat got bored quickly after our conversation ended and it left me alone, continuing its journey to wherever it was going to. I stared at the horses which were really far away, enjoying the hot day in the pasture and eating the grass.

"Hey, Krista. Can horses scream?" I suddenly asked. Krista's head turned again toward me and she looked more confused than ever. "What?" the blond petite girl asked, tilting her head to other side and looking at me like I was an alien from outer space. Jeez, I probably sounded like an weirdo. "Can horses scream?" I repeated. Her eyes widened with confusion and she bite her lower lip. I know Krista, that question is very weird. I understand your reaction, it's natural.

"Their neighs can be very high-pitched but a scream.. I've never heard a horse screaming. Why are you asking?"

"Ah, nothing. I just got lost into my thoughts again."

"You're a bad liar, you know that?"

"Krista please..."

She then smiled her sunny smile again and watched me. "It's okay. I hope you'd speak with people more, you're always trying to survive without help. It's not the only way to live, you know? It's healthy to rely on other people and ask help when you really need it. I'm not going to judge you."

Her words were like invisible spells, lurking and hiding behind her sweet tone and wide smile, making me realize how I always tried to stay back and hide things from my friend. Trying to not bother them, trying to give them their own space and not to interfere. I felt how guilt was growing inside me. How did I even have any friends, why were they my friends? At the same time I felt some kind of gratitude.

We changed the subject, it was too beautiful day to mourn like there was no tomorrow. I watched how Krista's father came out from the stable with horse what had a slender body and it was black as darkness, black as night. It had white socks on every leg and its mane was curly. That must be the new horse Krista told me about and she was right, the horse was gorgeous. Her father climbed into the saddle and soon he and the horse were gone, trotting far away.

"How's Ymir? She isn't around at the moment, is she?" I asked and turned my gaze to Krista. She had a wistful smile on her face and the blonde girl was staring at the sky. "You're right, she's not here. She's visiting her relatives and she hates it, you know how she complains about everything. Now it's even worse than her usual complaining, I'm afraid my laptop and phone are going to explode if she continues that way."

Everyone knew Ymir and Krista are a thing. It's nothing new, it was clear from the beginning when we were snotty-nose brats in the kindergarten. Ymir was always with Krista, she ignored everyone else and if someone made Krista cry, Ymir kicked their asses without hesitation.

Krista was telling me something but I got lost to my thoughts. Actually, at first I was thinking about Ymir, imaging her in my head. She has freckles. Nothing wrong with them, but my brain connected freckles to the boy I met yesterday. What was his name again? Oh, right. Marco! He had freckles too. Seriously, my brain just made me remember him because of the fact that he and Ymir both have freckles. Good job, I need a medal.

Wait, what if Krista knows him? Well, I was surprised that Reiner or Bertholdt didn't know him, it felt like they were always aware of everything what was happening here and I know that Reiner's friendlist in facebook has a lot contacts. Where does he know all those people? Why are they on his friendlist anyway? Why I am thinking about Reiner Braun's facebook contacts? I need to stop this.

"Hey Krista, do you know anyone whose name is Marco?" There we go. Now I can't back out, I'm just too curious, I can't understand why I haven't seen this Marco before or why he is so familiar. Krista was thinking hard, clearly trying to remember if she knew anyone with that name. Her expression wasn't promising, and I was right when she shook her head and looked at me. "No, I don't think I know any Marcos. Should I know someone?"

I was slightly disappointed, but at the same time I knew there was no reason to feel like that. I had thought that she probably didn't know him but at the same time I had tiny piece of hope that she might know. "Nah. I just met someone yesterday who introduced himself as Marco. Haven't seen him before and I was wondering why's that." Corners of her lips started to curl up and her gaze softened, she was looking me like a mother hen.

"I didn't know you were that social. Did you even think that he might be new here or something? Maybe he just moved in", Krista suggested and I felt like an idiot. Why didn't I think about that? Why was I assuming that he had lived here his whole life? Good job Jean Kirschtein, the winner of first-class fool.

"Oh don't make fun of me. I would have ignored him if he hadn't caught my interest. I don't know why but it felt like there was invisible force what was pulling me toward him. I'm sure I've seen him before, he feels so familiar but I can't understand why", I mumbled, not even caring what I was letting out of my mouth. If it was Connie or Sasha, they would make jokes and annoy the hell out of me. It was Krista of all people, I still think she's too pure for this world, a beautiful cinnamon roll.

She was silent for a moment, until she hummed and stroked her jaw. "That's weird. I'm sure I don't know anyone named Marco. The name doesn't ring any bells", she said. I was glad that she wasn't making any jokes about me growing a crush on this guy, because I didn't have a crush on him. I wanted to know what makes me feel like I've seen him somewhere before.

We sat on her porch long enough that it felt like eternity. We talked about this Marco, until there wasn't anything more to talk about him, so we changed the subject again and talked about other things. Krista suggested that I should try to search this guy and try to get more information about him, trying to get known him. I liked her idea, it was sure thing that I needed to talk with Marco again. I promised her that I was going to dig in and speak with him when I saw him again. She promised she wouldn't tell anyone about what we had just discussed and she even wished me good luck. Oh yes, I'm going to need good luck really much if I'm going to get through this.

The sun had started to settle when we finally stood up. I stretched my hands, I was sure my ass was going to fall off or something because we sat there like hours and hours. I hadn't even planned to stay this long, it felt weird.

You remember how I had shouted to that stupid horse that I don't like horse? Yeah, like I said before, it was a white lie. I don't actually hate them, I respect them. Horses are big and proud, you shouldn't treat them like they are good for nothing. That is not true.

Krista and her father started to take horses back to the stable. I was on the good mood, and by way of exception, I offered help and soon I was leading one of the horses back to the stable. Oh yeah, hi buddy, I couldn't even believe that the big Irish cob was still here. I remember they had it back then when we were little kids and Sasha was still riding regularly. The horse seemed to remember me as well, because its ear were forward and it tried to sniff me like it was a dog.

Without any problems I led it back to its own stall and when all of the horses were inside, Krista's father offered me a ride home. I accepted it, it would be pretty late when I'd finally arrive home if I walked the whole way back, so why not?

* * *

 

Her father was very talkative, making small talk with me the whole way until he stopped the car and I hopped off of the car, thanking him for the ride and then making my way to inside. It was getting darker and I was hungry, I hadn't eat anything today except my poor breakfast. Krista's mother had tried to make me stay and eat with them, but I didn't want to cause any kind of trouble for them, so I refused politely.

I turned the lights on and made some kind of dinner for myself. I wasn't in the mood to be a chef or anything so I didn't make any gourmet meal. After eating I took a quick shower, the smell of hay and horses was all over me. Thank you very much.

I sat down in front of my laptop and while it was loading, I sighed and leaned my elbows against the desk. Sometimes it felt like I was living on my own, my parents were always somewhere else. They're busy with their careers, or they just don't like our little house. To me, this house is perfect. It's not too big and in the city center, in the noisy downtown area. One of the things why it wasn't that bad to live in outskirts of the town after all.

Our house was small, two-storey wooden house. Everything was on the first floor except for the bedrooms and bathroom that were on the second floor. We had a large backyard and further on was a enormous forest. The forest was deep, but in the middle of it was glade. It was very large open area and in the glade, there was also a huge pond. Yes, it wasn't lake, it was a pond but it looked almost like a lake. I usually went to swim there with my friends, because the beach is always full of people and there was also a chance to meet someone who you didn't want to meet. The pond in the forest was like a secret hiding place, people never visited there. It was forgotten, everyone preferred the beach over it. Oh and of course, the water was a lot colder there because it was in the forest, the sun didn't have a possibility to heat it and make the water warm.

I log into facebook and checked what others had done today. Nothing special, Sasha and Connie posting funny - or weird as hell- videos to each others and Reiner wondering something deep. Oh yeah, and Bertholdt has changed his profile picture. Yup, nothing special here today.

The tiny chat window jumped to the screen suddenly, it was Krista who thanked me for helping with horses. I'm glad she didn't post it on my wall, I don't want to hear any horseface jokes from Connie.

I didn't reply to her, she was already writing something. I waited her to finish whatever she was writing and when the bling came, I checked what she wrote. She was asking if I was going to meet that new guy tomorrow. I don't actually know. I don't know how I could contact him, he didn't gave me his number or address. He said he lived somewhere close. Weird, but then again I don't know what does "close" mean to him. Close to the park? Close to the downtown? No idea.

Chatting with Krista was relaxing, I haven't spoken with her like this for a long time, usually we just greeted if we saw each other and that's it, we've never been that close friends plus I don't want to get beaten up by Ymir's fists if I did a wrong move.

Did I tell you already that I'm an night owl? Well, now you know it. I love staying up late and then sleep during the day. I was reading news online when I heard something, through the song I was listening at the same time. Sad whimpers, coming from the direction of my window. I took off my headphones and moved to the window, pulling the curtains aside and looking out. I felt how my heart skipped a couple of beats. There it was again.

"You again!" I shouted after opening the window and leaning against the windowsill. The black horse raised its head, its ears now forward. The stallion was watching me. It was just staying still, twiddling its ears sometimes when it was listening the world around it. I was silent, watching the horse and wondering why it was here again. I was also trying to figure out where it came from, because it definitely wasn't a horse from Krista's stable.

The horse got probably bored. It started to scrape the ground and let out a loud neigh. "Shhh, it's middle of the night. You'll wake up everyone and if they think you're my horse, neighbors will complain and blame me for everything." Why I was talking to this horse again? Well, I didn't have anyone else to talk. I was surprised that it was here again, but now it didn't wake me. Yay?

I stared at it minute or two, until I got an idea. "If I throw you a carrot, can you go away? I don't really want you to make our backyard look like elephants have been marching here. That's our deal, right buddy?" Oh god. What I am saying? It's a horse. Horse! Whatever, I'll get that carrot for it before it decides to be vocal again.

I bet I was faster than a roadrunner, making my way to the kitchen, searching carrot from the fridge and then running back to my room. I walked back to the window and noticed that the stallion hadn't moved at all. It was still there where I left it, waiting and when I was back, it swing its head up and down like it was greeting me. It made me smile, even though this wasn't really enjoyable situation.

"Okay buddy, I got your carrot. Take it and go away and don't think about coming back, I won't give you any treats anymore. This will be the first and the last one, so enjoy it", I said and then threw the vegetable to the ground, right next to the horse. It didn't even wince. The horse examined the carrot, it was sniffing it and I waited when it'd start to eat it. I was surprised when it lifted its head and stared me again, ignoring the carrot completely.

"What? You don't want it? I thought horses like carrots. Well, too bad then, that was our deal and we didn't talk anything about apples, if you're expecting that I'm going to get an apple for you. Our neighbor has an apple tree, go there if you're craving them." This horse. This fucking horse. What else I could say about it?

"You're rude, you know that?"

It was so dark that I didn't really see its eyes that much, but they looked again like they were all white. I wonder if it really had just white eyes or was it too dark to see anything else? I was admiring the horse. Okay, I admit it, the horse was very gorgeous. It was dark as night and it looked like it was one of those hot-blooded horses. It was so slim and athletic, I bet everyone would like to have a horse like that to compete in horse shows.

The horse neighed again and I shushed it. No, don't make noises please, I don't want people to think that you're my horse. The horse moved closer to our house and looked like it was checking something. "Hey, what are you doing? Aww hell no, if you consider about taking a dump, don't do it. At least not in my backyard." No way, I won't clean horse shit. I don't want to clean horse shit from our yard.

It was staying still, doing absolutely nothing. Ignoring also the carrot, it really looked like it wasn't going to eat it. "Shoo, go back to your home. This is not your home, this is my home. Shoo."

I heard those whimpers again and sighed. What is wrong with this horse? It's stubborn and makes strange noises.... Okay, I think we are at the same line then, me and that horse. I was also stubborn as fuck and always letting out strange noises, I identify them as the voice of dying whale.

"It's nice that you want to keep me company but it's night and everyone is sleeping already. Besides you shouldn't run free at all, someone will catch you and then you can't go back to your home. That'd suck, right? So go, please. Just go."

I hated begging. I hated hearing others beg and I extremely hated when I had to beg. The stallion started to walk away and I was relieved about that. Finally. It ignored the carrot what was lying on the ground. It gave me its last glance and then the black horse was galloping toward the forest, fast as lightning. That horse wasn't only gorgeous looking, it was also super fast. It would win every competitions with that speed, with those elegant movements.

When I was sure the horse wasn't coming back, I closed the window and pulled back curtains. I didn't want to get awake because of a rays of sun. Not again. I went back to my computer and spent another hour on the net before I was tired enough to go to sleep.

That night I was glad that I didn't saw any kind of nightmare.

* * *

 

_The wind was howling softly, playing with my hair and it made goosebumps to my skin. The wind wasn't blowing like it's trying to fly me away, it was playful and it wasn't as cold as I had assumed._

_I was standing at the entrance of the park. It was empty, no playing children in sight or their parents. It was sunset, the sky looked like it was painted with different shades of red. It was getting dark, but something was giving light to the park. I wasn't sure should I go there or leave, but even though I was thinking what I should do, my legs decided to have the mind of their own and I started to walk forward._

_I noticed that something was burning at the edge of the park. I turned my gaze and tried to figure out what was there. There was a huge bonfire, but it wasn't big enough to light the forest that was behind it, far away._

_The bonfire was burning happily,showing light toward the empty park. I walked closer to it and I was able to feel the heat what was radiating from the fire. I wonder why there was a bonfire and why everyone was absent._

_I felt someone's hand on my shoulder and it made me wince. I turned quickly and saw him. His face had a smile on it. The freckles were highlighted from the light and his dark eyes were sinking into my own._

_My gaze started to wander around him. He wasn't wearing the old hoodie, his chest was bare and I had a chance to see how he was splattered with freckles. Freckles on his shoulders, on his stomach, on his arms. His skin was a little bit tanned and looked so smooth that I wanted to touch it and wonder how it looked like that.He had nice torso, I had to admit it._

_He was wearing some kind of loincloth, it reminded of me about the schenti what Egyptians used to wear during ancient times. It was white and reached to his knees. He wasn't wearing shoes or anything else, just the loincloth. He was so exotic and beautiful, I couldn't come up with other words._

_His smile made me feel like my feet were made of butter. He was smiling at me and looking at me with his kind eyes._

_The wind blew and in the twinkling of an eye he wasn't in front of me anymore. I looked around and saw that he had walked closer to the fire, looking at it and enjoying the small wind. I was sure I heard some kind of flute playing in the wind and some kind of drum was pounding somewhere. It was like the nature was playing a song to us._

_I'm sure he heard it too, because he raised his hands toward the red sky and whispered something I wasn't able to understand. He said something with an unknown language. After that, he looked at me again and smiled. I smiled back, something in his smile was so magical._

_He started to dance. His movements were smooth, he was dancing around the bonfire and it looked like the wind was controlling him, telling him where he should turn or what he should do with his hands. I felt like I was hypnotized. I probably was. His dance was so peaceful and light. Because he didn't have anything to cover his torso, I had a chance to see how his collarbone moved a little bit every time he moved his hands._

_His hands were moving like they were a pair of wings. So smoothly and lightly. Watching him dance made me so happy, I don't even know why but it doesn't matter. I haven't felt this happy in a long time._

_The way his hips moved was charming, the way his whole body moved was magnificent. I was sure my eyes were eating the sight of his figure._

_He stopped and turned his head to my direction, watching me and then lending his hand toward me. I felt stiff, my body felt like it was locked. He waited me patiently, his gaze on me again and his eyes sent some kind of encouraging looks to me. He wanted me to join his dance, he wanted to dance with me. I probably shouldn't, there's no way my body would move like his moves. It would be awkward and bad attempt to dance._

_My feet decided to have mind of their own again and I found myself soon standing next to him, holding his hand and admiring his face. He leaned forward a little bit and whispered something to my ear, again with that language I couldn't identify. His voice was little darker and when he backed away and stared into my eyes, I saw some kind of passion in his eyes._

_He started to dance again while I stood there awkwardly, wondering why I even tried to refuse it. I felt how the wind was again on my side, I felt how it tried to swing me. I fought back for a while until I gave up and started to dance as well. I knew my movements weren't anything like Marco's, but when the wind was blowing silently, I was sure some kind of invisible force helped me. My movements turned smoother. Unfortunately he hadn't any kind of chance to get better look of my body, because I was wearing more clothes than he. It didn't seem to bother him though, he focused on dancing._

_We danced and danced, I don't even know how long. The bonfire was still on fire when we stopped. We sat down close to it and stared the flames. It was dark, the sun was gone and the moon was taking its spot on the night sky. It didn't matter, I felt like I could stay here for an eternity, watching the fire and just sitting next to Marco._

_I closed my eyes and enjoyed the fresh air. I was thinking hard about everything when my thoughts were cut off by the sound of galloping hooves. I opened my eyes and saw how the black stallion came out of the forest. It slowed and was soon walking toward us, ignoring the bonfire and the flames. I felt how my body stiffened again, but Marco didn't seem to mind this new guest._

_The horse was standing next to Marco, its ears right forward and it was sniffing him. He didn't mind it, he raised his hand and gave it a better chance to sniff it. After that he stroked under its jaw and the stallion was very pleased. It lowered its head more so that he could pet it._

_After petting it for a while, the horse moved next to me and nuzzled its nose against my neck, giving me tiny nips. It didn't hurt, the stallion was gentle and it didn't use too much power. It didn't want to hurt me, I understood it._

_Marco's gaze was on me and on the horse, his face full of smile. I smiled back to him and closed my eyes. This didn't feel bad, actually it felt pretty good. The world around us was gone and it was just me, him and the stallion._

* * *

 

The annoying buzz from the phone woke me up and I swear to god that I'm going to destroy that stupid mobile phone. I made angry grunts, who dares to wake me? That person is going straight into hell when I'm aware who was this sin maker.

I wasn't even surprised when I found out it was Connie who had texted me, asking if I'm interested to go to the beach with them today. Nah, I'm not feeling like I want to go somewhere full of half-naked people and be half-naked too. I sent him my answer and soon I was called party pooper. Yeah, that's what I am, party pooper. I'm not really into socializing, I appreciate my own time. Swimming didn't sound like a bad idea, the weather was going to get hotter and when July comes, we're going to be in the hell - literally. It's so hot during July. I'm glad it's still June though.

Because I didn't have any plans for today, I just decided to do the laundry. I'd leave my clothes outside, to our drying rack what looks a little bit like an umbrella. Maybe I should do it, dirty clothes are already piling up and if I'm not going to do anything, I'll be soon drowned under a large amounts of laundry.

I stuffed our washing machine full of clothes and while it was washing them, I made breakfast and ate it without any worries in the world. I read the news and snorted. The newspaper was still wondering where the disappeared girl - Mina Carolina's little sister, as I remember Reiner telling me that - might be or what might have happened to her. It's sad that something like that was happening. The atmosphere was tense, you could feel it even though people were trying to continue their lives. I started to wonder what might have happened to Mina's sister. Mina was a decent girl and her little sister was decent too. They both were those kind of girls who didn't hang out late and avoided problems.

When I was hanging my laundry to the drying rack outside, my gaze fell on the carrot what was still lying on the ground. Oh yes, my big friend wasn't in the mood to eat that snack. It'd seem that it doesn't have any manners at all.

"Rude", I whispered to myself. Soon all of the laundry was hanging outside and hopefully getting dry. I was happy that there wasn't any horse shit on our backyard, thank you rude horse, maybe you know some kind of manners after all. The carrot found itself in the forest, I didn't want to take it back inside so I just dumped it to the forest. Maybe a bunny or some other animal would eat it.

I reconsider Connie's idea about going swimming. In fact it was very tempting but imagining about the beach was enough to keep me in my decision. I don't want to socialize with people there, there's probably everyone from the school and kids. Lots of kids playing and screaming and laughing. Ugh, no way. No thanks.

Maybe we can some day go to that pond in the forest? It's like private swimming pool, there's never anyone, everyone prefers the beach over the pond. Sounds like a plan, maybe I should ask if they're cool with the idea of the visit in the forest.

Staying inside was my original plan for today, until it got just so hot that I decided to go out and take a walk. It wasn't any cooler on the outside but because almost everyone was on the beach, it was peaceful and good time to walk around without fear of socializing with others.

I'm such an loser... yeah, that's what I am.

Walking down the empty street was something you always didn't have a chance to do. I was grateful that all the kids on the neighborhood were inside or on the beach or somewhere. I don't really care where they are as long as they are not disturbing me.

Fully immersed in my thoughts, I was walking without thinking where I was going. After walking senselessly like a zombie, I found myself standing at the entrance of the park. There weren't any kids playing and quickly everything reminded me about my dream last night. Gosh, that's awkward. I don't even know him and I'm already seeing weird dreams.

To my horror the park wasn't that empty. There was one person sitting on the wooden bench and just enjoying the hot weather. I recognized him immediately and I felt how I was flushing, the images of my dream still in my head. Shoo, go away, I don't want to remember that dream. Not now, bad timing!

I walked towards him and somehow I managed to get tiny smile on my face. Okay Jean, focus. It's not his fault if you're dreaming about him. He hasn't done anything.

After getting closer he noticed my arrival. He lifted his gaze from the ground to me and I swear there was a sparkle of joy somewhere deep in his brown eyes. "Hey", he greeted and straightened his back. Please Marco, don't send me that kind of smile, it's reminding me about my dream. Stop it.

"Hey. You don't mind if I sit down?" Why did I even ask? The guy looks like he'd share this bench with anyone who asked, he didn't look like a person who would tell you to get lost and leave him alone. As I guessed, he shook his head and even moved a little bit so there would be more room to me. He seems to be kind.

I sat down next to him and leaned my back against the bench. The sky was clear, no clouds trying to hide the sun. I was feeling really warmed up in my jeans and t-shirt but when I took a glance of Marco, I couldn't do anything else but wonder how he wasn't sweltering. Dude, you're wearing a hoodie in the hot June day, why aren't you feeling like you're in the lowest floor in hell? Oh right, because hell is frozen in the last circle, forgive me Dante, wasn't trying to forget that.

The atmosphere felt awkward, we both were just sitting there and minding our own business. If this isn't going to change soon, I think I'm going to crazy.

"So, it seems to be pretty quiet day today. Everyone must be on the beach", I stated but kept my gaze still on the sky. He hummed and then nodded, agreeing my words silently. I wonder why he's sitting here alone, he feels like he's so lonely. I feel bad for him, somehow he seems to be dejected. He didn't seem to be a bad guy, I'd say that he was a guy who didn't deserve that kind of feelings. If he was upset, I really wanted to know why and try to make him feel better.

"You're not into beach?" I asked and moved my gaze back to Marco. He was looking something, until his eyes moved to me. I tried to study his facial expression. He shruggered his shoulders and then he wasn't looking at me anymore. "Don't worry, I'm not really into them either. I hate how there's always large crowds and I avoid meeting some people who probably are there."

My words had effect on him, because corners of his lips raise up. I was so happy that he was smiling again, the smile looked good on his face. "I don't really hate crowds. I hate the sea water, I hate how the salt stay stick in the skin." Well, that was good reason to hate them too. The salt indeed wasn't very pleasant.

"Ah, I understand. You still like swimming though?" I asked and he nodded. Now I know something about him. This was my chance to talk more and get known with him, I was still curious.

"Well then, me and my friends planned to go on a picnic to the pond what's actually really close. If you want, you can join us. We haven't decided yet the date for it, but maybe soon." I was surprised that there was a tiny spark of something in his eyes, something I hadn't really expected. For a couple of seconds he looked scared, like he wanted to run away from me. Then he relaxed and his eyes reflected some kind of enthusiastic spirit.

"That sounds really lovely. I'd like to join your picnic, but if it's okay with your friends... " Marco said and then his expression changed back to gloomy and he turned his head away, like he had remembered something. "I'm sure they don't mind if you come too, I bet they'd like to meet you!" I tried to convince him. Yeah, there wasn't actually real plans for this picnic, but now I really wanted to do it and it was weird, I didn't usually want to socialize this much.

"Are you okay with that? I mean, we just met couple days ago. You don't know me." Guess what Marco? Shut up. I'm not going to listen any of that crap.

"I know your name is Marco and I know that I'd like to hang out with you. Besides, I usually hate speaking with random people, so if you bothered me somehow or something else, I wouldn't be here, sitting next to you and talk with you like we've known each other like forever. Don't stress about that. I want to learn to know you better. If you don't wan't to be my friend, just say it and I'll leave you alone."

His head turned quickly and he was staring at me like I had said the magical words. Yeah, maybe I said them, because he nodded and smiled again. "Then it's okay. You know... I'd really like to be your friend too. You're not a bad person." His words were so honest that they made my feel bad. No Marco, I'm sorry but I can be shitty human being time to time. I'm still glad though that you think like that. I appreciate it.

Sitting in the park with Marco was very relaxing moment. We were silently listening how the wind hums sometimes or how the forest seemed to be full of life. I glanced at Marco every now and then and my assessment of him was that he must really like the nature. He gave his respect toward it.

Watching him like that made me remember my dream and I had to turn my gaze away from him and hide my face in my hands. How awkward, why I am so awkward? He noticed me and I felt his eyes on me. It made me flush and I still hid my face.

"You okay?" Of course he would ask that, damn it. I'm sure he must be another beautiful cinnamon roll, too good for this world and too pure. Marco, you're going to make a good opponent to Krista, you can compete against her in the fight between two beautiful cinnamon rolls.

"I'm fine, just remembered something. It's nothing, really." Whose voice was that? Was it really mine? Why I sounded so different? Get a hold of yourself, Jean! I finally moved my hands away from my face and I was greeted with Marco's dark brown eyes. I couldn't keep my gaze on his eyes, so I studied more his face. Freckles. A lot of freckles, like they've been splashed onto his face. I wonder if he's been bullied because of them, kids can be so cruel sometimes.

We started to talk more and I learned that when Marco was feeling more comfortable around people, he was talkative. I'm sure that at first he felt shyness toward me too, but now when we started to get to know each other, I could tell he started to relax and he was talking way more than before. Good, I liked to hear his gentle and friendly voice and the way he started to explain something with enthusiasm. It was something different, Sasha and Connie always talked a lot and showed their own enthusiasm as well, but Marco was so different from them. He didn't rush or speak too fast.

I was so focused to listen his voice that when he stopped, I was somewhere in my fantasy world and didn't notice that he had asked me something. "Sorry, can you ask again?" I asked and felt little embarrassed. He chuckled and I was indeed happy that it wasn't mocking laugh. "It's ok. I just asked if you'd tell me something about your friends. You know, if we're going to that picnic, I'd like to know something about them." Oh.

He listened obediently me when I started to tell him things about my friends. He was curious and I was glad that he didn't interrupt me with questions, he was that polite.

I told him about Sasha and Connie, those two high-spirited monkeys who won't leave you alone after they've accepted you to their group. Then there's Reiner, big and tough guy from the outside but he isn't as tough as he looks like, he's very caring and supportive, like a big brother. Sometimes making stupid jokes but quickly gets serious when the situation need him to be like that. And last but not least there was also Bertholdt, our tall friend who wasn't as talkative as the others. At first he's shy around people he don't know but after getting to know them, he won't be as shy and nervous, sometimes he can be talkative but not at the same level as Connie or Sasha or Reiner.

"Your friends sounds like they're amazing people. I hope we can set up that picnic soon", Marco said and the excitement was on his face. I was glad he was looking forward to it because so was I. Now the next step is to tell everyone else about these plans, but I'm sure they will be as excited and accept the offer. I mean, who doesn't want to go to swim during the hot day? And we will have some privacy, that's even better, we don't have to watch other people.

The time passed quickly and before I really realized, the sunset was coloring the sky. Oh shit, what time is it? "I think I need to go home, I didn't realize how time flew again. I'm going to keep you informed about the picnic but for that, I think I might need your phone number. Can you give it to me?" Yes, that was smooth move Jean. That's it, now we're talking. I already dig out my phone and waited him. My gaze moved from the phone screen to Marco and his expression was quite hilarious. He was staring at my phone for a moment until his expression changed into uncomfortable.

"Umm... I'm sorry but I don't have a phone..."

My jaw fell and I'm sure it touched the ground. What? He was scratching his cheek awkwardly and he chuckled nervously. I'm starting to feel like he really is homeless or poor. I winced suddenly, I need to say something or Marco is going to feel like I'm judging him. The poor guy looked like he was waiting nasty words coming from my mouth.

"Oh... well, it's okay. It's not the end of the world. Well then, can you give your address?" I asked and shoved my phone back to the pocket of my jeans.

"...I'm sorry but I think I can't give you my address... but don't worry, I live really close and I'm almost every day here, so if you want to meet me, you can find me here."

Marco.... Do you live under the bridge? Are you homeless? What is this, you gotta be pulling my leg? Please tell me you're joking! The expression on his face told me he was dead serious. Oh boy...

"Okay then... I can give you my address if you want. You can come whenever you feel like and just knock the door. I'm pretty sure I'll be home." This was getting so difficult. Marco, why won't you tell me your address? It's not that bad honestly, I'm not going to rob your house or anything... or wherever you are living. I'm not that kind of person.

I told him where I live and he nodded, telling me that he'll wait the information about our plan. Don't worry Marco, I'll keep you updated. You are not going to miss the picnic.

When I got home, I was almost jumping because of the eagerness, ran to the upstairs and rushed to my computer. I was really excited, I was really looking forward to this plan. I'm sure my little friend group was slightly scared when I started to tell them about the plan and asking if they were interested. No, I wasn't going to let them go with ''no'' as an answer. They must come with me. I wouldn't mind going with Marco, with just two of us but he looked so excited about socializing with new people. I wanted to see him happy. I felt like when he was happy, I was happy too. Oh gosh. We're friend now, right? Right? At least I hope we are.

Everything felt so perfect that I was in a good mood for the rest of the day... until I went out to get the laundry back to inside and found out that a bird had shitted on my laundry... Thank you really much mother nature!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it, the first 10k words long chapter and oh boy I'm amazed that I managed to wrote that word monster. Hurr.
> 
> Me and my beta wondered who would win the beautiful cinnamon roll competition, Krista or Marco? We can't decide, haha ~ 
> 
> So, this was the second chapter of this story. I hope you liked it! I'm not sure how long it will take before the next chapter is ready, I'm trying to write my other fic's chapter. I'm so late on my schedule, my summer job is making me so tired because I get home so late and I'm tired after works. Also the entrance exam is on next week and I haven't even read the whole book yet, hnnngh. I'm so busy, damn you May. Anyway when I get more time, I'll start the next chapter.
> 
> The feedback is very welcomed and if you find mistakes or typos, you can point them out ^^  
> See you guys on the next chapter! ~  
> (ps, I know Marilyn Manson's version of the song "Sweet dreams" is only a cover but I thought it'd fit better ~)


	3. F-F-F-Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I was just wondering... well, I'm not quite sure what your prefers are when it comes to food. If you don't have anything important to do right now, would you like to come to my house and help me with cooking? You'd get a chance to meet Reiner and Bertholdt too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi sweethearts, I'm back! ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ  
> I finally managed to work with this chapter and my beta took her time to check it, it's been busy times to us.  
> I wanted to update this quicker but it seems that it took a month for this to be updated. Oh well, I still blame everything what has been happening recently.  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter! \ (•◡•) /  
> \----
> 
> F-F-F-Falling down with the sun  
> I can't give it up  
> The night is calling me like a drum  
> I keep on F-F-F-Falling
> 
> The Rasmus - F-F-F-Falling

I'm feeling more alive than I've ever felt before. It's all thanks to that strange guy who's like a sun, making my days brighter. He sure seems to have a positive effect on me, even though at the same time I'm getting more and more confused because of the warm feeling I've felt since our first meeting. Something about Marco is making me feel so familiar and so alive.

We finally set date to our picnic idea and I've been excited about it since the very first time I suggested it. It's been a week since I brought up the idea and we've planned it this whole time. I've kept Marco informed and sometimes I've tried to ask if he has any ideas to add. He haven't had any but it's okay, I'm sure he'll enjoy himself.

And guess what? Yes, the horse is still visiting our backyard. Yippee. I haven't managed to shoo it away completely.

"So, as you probably know, I still don't like you. No matter how much you're trying to make yourself look adorable."

The high-pitched neigh was the only answer I got. I'm pretty sure the horse was enjoying itself, maybe even a little bit too much. At least it likes to annoy me, that's for sure.

I don't really know what I should do about this problem. I've already thought that maybe this isn't as bad as I first assumed. And after I thought about it, the pitch black horse comes next night - this night - and wakes me up. Geez, thank you so very much. I didn't want to sleep anyway.

"Why are you so interested in me. Can't you see what kind of dickhead I am? Are you blind or something?" I found myself talking a lot to the horse, more than what I used to do before. I think it is kinda relaxing to talk to it. It's an animal anyway, so it doesn't matter what I talk to it. It doesn't give a shit.

I haven't found the courage to actually go out and try to pet it or something. I'm sure if I ever were to try, it'd just bite my arm off like almost every other horse I've encountered in my life. The horse doesn't seem to mind it either, it feels like it just comes here to keep me company, give me its own opinions and then it goes away. I haven't figured out what's making it come back here.

I said I wasn't going to give it any treats but I've already broken that threat. I've thrown apple slices, carrots and sugar cubes to our backyard. The horse, however, doesn't seem to want any of them, every morning I find them untouched. Rude horse is just a rude horse or maybe it knows that it shouldn't take any treats from strangers.

"You know buddy, something strange has happened. I've never really been eager to hang out with others, somewhere in public, but now I'm feeling like I want to. It's all thanks to this one guy I met. I think he just has some kind of positive effect on me or something. Ha, it sounds weird, doesn't it?"

What the hell I am doing? I am literally talking insightful things to a horse. Horse! I think the lack of sleep is starting to drive me more crazy than ever.

The horse didn't seem to mind my mumblings, its ears were turned forward and it looked like it was listening to me. I rambled more and I didn't even care anymore about the fact that I was opening my heart to an animal. Animals are good listeners, alright?

I fell silent after I started to think more about Marco. We've only been sitting in the park, it's getting a little boring already. Maybe I should invite him to my house? Or ask if he wants to go somewhere else, for a change. I need to learn more about him and because he's now more open to me, it's going to be easier to ask things. I just shouldn't ask too much or he might feel himself uncomfortable.

I noticed the horse had suddenly changed its position, it was now lying on the grass. Well, that's something new.

"You got tired, right buddy? Are you going to stay here the whole night? If you do so, then be at least quiet and let me sleep." I honestly don't care anymore if my neighbors see it or not, it's not my horse so it's not my problem.

Then I got the idea. Yeah, this is the king of the ideas! I started to search my camera, maybe I should take a picture of it and show it to Krista, she might know more about it. At least she might identify what horse breed it is. What if I'd just tell everyone about my night visitor on social media? Whatever, I want to take a picture of it and show it to Krista and maybe to Marco too. At least he's one of those who hasn't made any horseface jokes about me. Maybe I'd show it to Bertholdt too.

The camera isn't in my room, damn it. Where have I put it? I leave my room and run to downstairs, searching my camera there. Where is it? Ah, found it! What is it doing in the kitchen? I don't know and I don't actually care. I took a couple of sugar cubes as well and headed to the backdoor.

I took a deep breath before I opened the door. This is the first time I've went out to see the horse, this will be the first time I'm going to go closer. I hope I have a guardian angel or something else with me, because it can turn out very nasty quickly if the horse doesn't like me getting closer.

The animal had good senses and it immediately turned its head toward the backdoor when I stepped out. I felt how its gaze was on me, it felt like it was burning into me. I was staring back, because holy baby Jesus, that horse is friggin' gorgeous. I've never seen any other animal what's as amazing as this horse.

"Hey buddy... heh, stay still, I just want to take a picture of you. I can give you sugar cubes if you cooperate with me. Deal?" My baby talk wasn't good enough, the horse was still looking like it was doubting my actions.

My camera let out tiny beep when I opened it and just the sound already made the horse wince. I think it was considering if it should get up or if it was still safe enough to lie down and rest its legs.

"Good. Good job, buddy. It's okay, it was just a camera." I was sure the horse was going to get crazy, because it's so dark that I have to use flash. I can tell it's not going to like it. I'm sorry my horse friend. Maybe I should try to speak to it before I take the picture? Yeah, that feels like a good plan.

"Look at you, you're a gorgeous horse. You know it, don't you? I can't wait to show your pictures to my friends. Krista likes horses, she'll probably be amazed by how you look."

I moved a little bit and searched the good angle. Yes, the picture was going to be good. Don't move please, not now. The perfect picture is gone if you move now, stay still. It's going to be fast.

"And you know, my new friend is going to like you too. Hell, I know he likes nature, Marco is always showing--"

Loud noise from the forest cut my speak and at the same time the horse jumped back onto its legs again. The sound came again, it was some kind of low roar and then there was low and faint growling somewhere. Wolves? No, that's not the sound wolf can make.

I moved quickly back to our backdoor and stood there, trying to see if I'd see what was in the forest. I didn't see anything though, it was too dark.

"Hey, where are you going?" I shouted when the horse started to gallop toward the dark forest. Its ears were now pinned back, I couldn't see them anymore because it looked like they were melting into its neck and mane. I know what it means when they do that, that horse probably saw red, it was so angry and threatening.

I was disappointed that I didn't get any pictures, but at the same time I was confused. I didn't know what to think, I haven't heard anything about angry wild animals living in that forest. No one had even seen any trace of wolves there.

I stood still, watching the forest for a moment and trying to deal everything what had just happened. Everything happened so fast, I'm not even sure what it was. Something in the forest seemed to made the horse angry and now it was probably chasing the source of the voice. I'm just glad I wasn't right next to it, I bet it'd have bit me if I had been too close.

* * *

 

 

"Are you alright? You look tired."

I flinched and opened my eyes. Huh, did I fall asleep? I found myself sitting at the noisy park. A group of kids were playing soccer far away and beside me was Marco, looking at me with worried and confused gaze.

Before I could even answer his question, I yawned hard. Maybe it was good enough of an answer. Marco was still waiting the proper answer and I knew he'd be wondering this thing the rest of the day if I refused to say anything.

"Man, I'm sorry. I'm just damn tired, I've been staying up late." It wasn't even a white lie, it was the honest truth. Why should I lie to him? There was nothing to lie about.

Marco tilted his head, studying my face again for a moment before he nodded and hummed.

"I see. You should try to get more sleep or else you're going to end up looking like a panda." Oh Marco you sweetheart, I can tell I must already look like a panda. I've got tiny black circles under my eyes, they're not so visible yet but if I was going to keep this speed, I'll have visible, very visible black circles under my eyes soon.

"It's easy for you to say, you're not harassed by rude visitor."

Marco's face was hilarious, I couldn't help but lose control and laugh way too hard. Poor guy, he was so confused and looked worried again, maybe he was thinking that the last piece of my sanity had finally fallen off. It was hard to keep down the laughter.

"What do you mean by that?" Marco asked, even his voice revealed that he was confused as hell. I know Marco, it's weird but when you get used to it, it's not that bad. Until the fucker wakes you up during the middle of the night and won't let you sleep until the sun is finally starting to rise.

I answered him right after restraining my laughter.

"Believe it or not, there's actually some weird shit going on. I've been blessed by devil himself, because a demon from hell is visiting my place every fucking night." I tried to joke but Marco didn't quite catch it. He looked more like horrified, trying to say something but all he could do was open his mouth and then close it again.

"Oh c'mon Marco, I was joking okay? I'm just a night owl, I love staying up late." I don't know why I turned the conversation to this way. Maybe I just didn't want to tell about the horse yet. What would he even think about it? I'm not sure what I'm afraid of, I know Marco wasn't going to make any horseface jokes if I'd told him about the horse.

Marco turned his gaze away and for a moment he didn't pay attention to me as he got completely lost in his thoughts. Then he sighed, looking really relieved and shook his head.

"You shouldn't even joke about things like that. It's like you're calling evil." He was staring at the grass and biting his bottom lip. I was speechless, what could I say after that? Was he really religious? Ouch, then that was definitely a really lame joke.

I got text mail from Bertholdt. Wait, what? Why is he texting me all of sudden... No way, I already forgot!

Like a streak of lightning I stood up, murmuring a couple of curses and then making frustrated noises. Of fucking course I forgot, earlier I had a feeling that something was going on but I couldn't understood what.

My realization, followed by dying whale noises and agony, came out of the blue. Poor Marco had never seen me like this. As you can assume, he almost fell off of the bench because the poor guy was frightened and surprised at the same time. He stood up and looked at me, worrying as always and waiting for me to tell what I had remembered. Or realized.

"I already forgot that I was supposed to make lunch for the tomorrow's picnic. Bertholdt and Reiner wanted to come and help me, or just to use my kitchen. Anyway, I should be going already." I wonder how he even understood anything I said since I spoke hastily and I am sure at least half of it was gibberish.

"I see. I'm sorry if I was holding you back." Marco gave an apologetic smile and I felt this warm wave inside me again. Something in his smile is way too powerful, I decided. That's the reason why I've got these strange feelings every time he has blessed me with his angelic smile. It's definitely the best part of him, besides, well, everything.

I didn't just want to end our time together just yet, I wanted to be with him the all day. This whole time I've been with him only like during the afternoons. It's been fun, even though one day I was hit by the soccer ball, but it wasn't that bad. Normally I'd have cursed and lectured the brats who were playing soccer that time, but I didn't do it this time. Why? Because I heard Marco's sweet laugh for like the first time. I hope those kids hit me again with that ball, I want to make him laugh and enjoy the time when we're hanging out.

When I met Marco for the first time, he was acting like he was depressed and lonely. Now he seems to have gotten a lot better, I can feel how all the negative energy has exited and the positive energy is taking the reins. Marco smiles a lot, he's getting more talkative and comfortable. He doesn't look so stiff anymore, he's clearly relaxing and I hope he's enjoying my company, because I sure as hell am enjoying his.

"Hey Marco..." I started after I got another idea. Shit, I really have to ask it now.

Marco stared at me with his brown eyes and gentle smile on his face. Gosh, to be honest, he is beautiful. Really, I mean it. His freckles were like stars, shining and making you lock your gaze onto his face. I took a minute or two to just admire his lovely facial features until I realized that he was still waiting me to continue. Damn, I shouldn't fall into my thoughts so often, this is going to become awkward if I do this every time.

"I was just wondering... well, I'm not quite sure what your prefers are when it comes to food. If you don't have anything important to do right now, would you like to come to my house and help me with cooking? You'd get a chance to meet Reiner and Bertholdt too."

His expression changed instantly and he was now weighing my offer. I didn't like it, his face wasn't looking very promising. I'm sure Marco is going to refuse and even if he doesn't have any reasons, he would make one.

"Well, I don't really have any plans for this day. I just think I should stop by my house", Marco answered and then his smile came back. This smile though wasn't as sunny as the earlier, like he was still wondering was it good idea or not.

"You don't really have to if you don't want to."

"No, no! It's okay, really! Besides..." Marco's gaze fell onto the ground and he looked really sheepish, it was so darn adorable. "...I think I'd really like to see your house. You're reminding me always that I can take a visit any time."

Now it was my time to flush. Oh yes, I've done that. Now I remember, how awkward. Have I really tried this hard to get him take a visit or something? I haven't even noticed until now. Marco you sneaky little bastard, why are you making me more messed up than I already am? You're not helping me here!

"That's cool. We'll see later, then?" I want to make sure he really means what he says. I hope he won't get scared of Reiner, because if you're scared of Reiner fucking Braun of all the people, then you won't be able to handle Sasha and Connie at all. They're far worse than Reiner, he isn't even bad.

Marco nodded eagerly and I couldn't help but smile. I have to hurry back to home then, the house needs some cleaning and I should take a shower too. Bertholdt and Reiner aren't there yet and they won't mind if I take a shower. They're too busy with each other, I wonder if they're even able to cook anything. Reiner is probably going to feed everything to Bertholdt before we can even pack the food.

"Marcoo! Here you are, I've been wondering where you have been sneaking the whole week!"

I glanced around and searched the source of the female voice. What the hell? I turned my gaze back to Marco and then another person came out of nowhere and slapped their hand onto Marco's shoulder.

I've never seen anyone grinning like that person did. Oh wait, I know that person, I've seen her before. What was her name again? Agh, I can't remember.

Okay, her name isn't important at the moment. She poked Marco's cheek and her grin grew wider. I'm not even sure how it was possible, she was already looking like a cheshire cat. Her hair was short, wavy and light brown. I don't know what kind of relationship she had with Marco, but I'm so going to dig up all the information. She doesn't look like she's Marco's sister, they're too different.

"Marco you stupid idiot, rebellious little shit", she said while poking his cheek. How dare she say something like that? Her words hit and sank, Marco was already looking like he was trying to get shorter and tiny. Like her words were knives what cut him every time when she opened that big mouth of hers and said something nasty.

I wanted to say something, but I wasn't fast enough. The girl turned her head and stared at me, grinning again and then starting to laugh like crazy. What was so funny?

"So you've been sneaking here because of this horseface! Oh give me a break!" she managed to say. She took one step closer to me and examined my face, still laughing and making sure I was going to be annoyed as hell.

"Got a problem with my face? Look at the mirror sometimes", I growled and gave questioning gaze to Marco.

To my surprise, my insult didn't hit her at all. She backed away still laughing. I think she started to laugh even more. Her amber eyes were burning into me even now and I don't know why but it looked like she was taking a mental note. What do you want? Go away, shoo.

"Hitch... Do you have something important or are you here just for fun?" Marco asked, his voice was quieter than usual. I think he somehow had some kind of respect toward that girl. Her name? Oh yes, Hitch. I've heard that name before but I know she doesn't study in our school. Some rumours say that she's home schooled. Wait, so how does she know Marco?

Hitch wiped her eyes, she had laughed so hard that her eyes were already watering a little bit. I still can't understand what's so funny. She's maniac or something, that's for sure.

"Marco, Marco, Marco. You know, we've been a little bit worried about you. You've been acting weird lately. We're worried, you know. At least I hope you know what you should be doing", Hitch said and went back next to Marco. She wrapped her other hand around Marco's shoulders, it looked ridiculous because she was at least 10 cm shorter than him.

Something inside me was bubbling, I felt how another wave was inside my body but this time it wasn't the warm one from before. This one seemed to be cold and full of anger. I don't know why, I didn't like how she was so close to Marco. How dare she, first she just throws insults at him like there's no tomorrow and now she's so best friend with him.

I can't read Marco right now, his body language is somehow odd. At the same time it looks like he's scared of her but he's also respecting her, giving her a chance to do whatever she wants.

Marco looked nervous after her words. He sighed and nodded, looking so defeated.

"I know. Don't worry about me, I can take care of my own things."

Her face changed so fast. Her grin didn't disappear but it turned out more evil and mean. Whatever was going on in her mind wasn't really nice, I'm sure when she opens that big mouth of hers again, all what's going to come out is shit.

"Acting all that when you're all below grass . My, my, what a dull boy."

That's it, I've heard enough of her bullshit. How dare she say all that, her stupid ego is just too big. I'm not going to forgive her.

"You know what? Fuck you, let him live his own life without your stupid opinion. He doesn't need your words." My words had mind of their own, I couldn't control myself right now. If she wanted to say nasty stuff, I'd listen to her insults about me. If she was going to make Marco feel like shit, I wouldn't allow it. Does she even have any idea how hard it was to get Marco feel better? It's no wonder why he had looked so depressed.

Her sharp gaze was on me again, we were facing each other without any words. There was definitely tense atmosphere going on and Marco wasn't happy about it. He looked so nervous and all he could do was trying to separate me and Hitch before anything happened.

"I've been standing here and listening how you insult him. You have no right to do that, who the fuck are you anyway and what do you want from him?" I asked, my voice was already revealing how pissed off I was. This girl was making me so angry, I'd probably have ended up hitting her if she wasn't girl. No, guess what? I don't fucking care if she's a girl, if she treats Marco like that, I'm going to end it right here, right now.

"I don't care if you're his sister or his girlfriend or anything like that, but if you're acting like that, I think you can go fuck yourself somewhere else, I don't want to listen any of that bullshit anymore and I can tell Marco doesn't need it either."

I was surprised when her grin was finally wiped off. Her face was serious, she looked like she was actually thinking about my words. Good, I hope they cut her back like her words had hit Marco.

"I feel bad for you. Oh well, it's not my business. All I can see is that your life is made of lies and it'll be just one big lie near in the future." It was her final words to me.

Marco took her hand and I felt something bubbling inside me again. What are you doing Marco? Don't touch her, please. She's piece of crap, she doesn't deserve you. Please oh god, don't tell me she's your girlfriend, right? Right?

"I'm sorry Jean. We'll see later, I promise." And then Marco and Hitch were gone, they both walked away from the park where I was just standing like a rock and watching their backs. Even though their characters were getting smaller and smaller the farther they were, I was still able to feel and see how Hitch was probably lecturing Marco. I hope she doesn't have a bad effect on him now, after all I've done. I don't want him to go back the way he was.

On my way home I was so pissed off that other people changed the street when they saw me coming. I must have looked so angry. When I got home, I kicked the trash can over and of course everything what was inside of it came out. That was bad way to let out my anger, I picked up every trash and thing what was in the trash can before I decided to kick the shit out of it. It stinks, I take a mental note to not kick it over again. Too messy and the smell is disgusting.

* * *

 

My mood got a lot better after I had let out all my negative energy. Life was looking nice again. Well, mostly. I was still pretty pissed off because of this Hitch person. Who the hell was she and what does she have with Marco. I really hope she isn't his girlfriend because if that's so, then I can only say that he is under her thumb. Way too badly, does he even get any breaks? What I found out was that he seems to sneak away from somewhere, probably from his home. That's why he is at the park all the time? Wow, I didn't even think about it at first.

The clock was ticking but there was no sign of Reiner or Bertholdt. Not even a single sight of Marco. It was good though, I was cleaning like mad. Usually I don't give a crap if the house looks like a shithole or something, my friends are used to it and I do clean it sometimes. But now when I knew that Marco was going to come here for the first time, I wanted to give him a good impression.

The only problem is that I hate cleaning. I fucking hate it. Who really likes it? I can't understand, it's pain in the ass. I was so slow when it came to cleaning the house, I usually took my time and normally it took a whole day or two when I gave the house a proper cleaning session.

When the last trash was in the bin and my laundry was drying outside, I finally had a chance to breath and took my time to take a shower. I left some of the windows open so that the air in the room would change.

Before I started to shower, I took a long time to look at myself in the bathroom's mirror. Marco was right when he warned that I was going to end up looking like a panda. The circles were slightly visible. Thank you really much mother nature, why did you sent that little nag keeping me awake the nights? What have I done to you?!

The cool water against my skin was the best feeling I've had today. It's been so hot lately that cold showers are my dearest friends right now. I mean, who doesn't love them when it's hot like you're in satan's asshole or something? Yup, I thought so.

The bad mood was already fading away and everything turned bright again. I tried to push that trollface Hitch somewhere deep in my mind, maybe in the darkest and loneliest corner. I don't want to think about her or anything today or any other day either. I'm not going to let her ruin my good day, even though I hate to admit that I still want to punch her in the face because of the things she said.

No, stop it. No more thinking about her.

And in the twinkling of an eye, I forget her. My mind was buzzing on tomorrow and the plans about it. I can't wait. Weather report promised that tomorrow will be another hot day, so it's perfect day to have a picnic and go swimming.

I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn't realize how I started to sing. I have to admit it, I like to sing in the shower. A lot. Because why not, I live mostly alone so no one's here to listen to me?

I don't know how I ended up singing the famous song from the musical the Phantom of the Opera. Or maybe I do know, it's too catchy and good song.

_"Sing once again with me, our strange duet."_

I turned off the shower and took the towel, stepping out of the bathtub and drying my hair.

_"My power over your, grows stronger yet."_

After I got my hair dry enough, I tied the towel around my waist and start to head downstairs. Yup, another great thing about living alone is that you can walk around half-naked or completely nude without anyone complaining or watching.

_"And though you turn from me to glance behind."_

Yeah I was still singing even though my shower was over. I can't just end it here, I have to sing it.

_"The Phantom of the Opera is there! Inside your mind."_

I got to downstairs and was heading toward the kitchen, when suddenly something weird at the corner of my eye caught my interest. Something moved and of course my natural reaction was to scream like a dying pig.

"Nice solo, Phantom of the nudity."

I turned my head and couldn't believe what I saw. Bertholdt and Reiner were standing there, their shoes already off and Reiner was holding his laughter, even though he looked like he was going to explode soon. Bertholdt tried to stay calm and keep his face straight, but I was able to see from his eyes how he was at least as amused as Reiner was. Then there was also third person almost leaning against our front door and looking at me like he had seen a ghost or something... And of fucking course it was none other than Marco.

I can't fucking believe this. This can't be true. No way, I must have fallen asleep during my shower or something.

"What the hell are you doing inside my house?" How elegant question, it made Reiner finally burst out laughing so hard that he had to lean against the wall. Bertholdt had now a gaze what revealed that he was a little bit embarrassed and awkward. And as usual, nervous.

"We used the spare key since we know where it is hidden. Sorry, we thought it's okay because you already knew we were going to come here." Bertholdt explained and then tried to calm Reiner. He was having way too much fun.

"I think you should put some clothes on, that might not be the best outfit if we're going to cook." Reiner said after getting his laugh down.

Oh right! I almost forgot that I was still standing in front of them just only a towel around my waist. I felt ashamed and my cheeks were turning reddish. Yeah right, I should put some clothes.

I flee back to upstairs and ran head over heels to my room. Thank you really much Reiner and Bertholdt, I made myself look like a fool in front of Marco. And what's even worse than that? They all heard my awkward singing and my song selection is just the perfect icing on the cake. Oh god I want to sink under the ground and never come back again.

I put the first clean clothes what I found from my wardrobe. I can't believe this happened, it's like it was from the cheap and shitty comedy. I hope Marco didn't already run away after seeing that scene. And I definitely hope he didn't get any kind of traumas.

When I returned to the downstairs, my guests had already inhabited the kitchen. Well, at least they know where they should be waiting me. I heard Reiner and Bertholdt talking to Marco, I think they were trying to get to know him. I wonder how they ended up meeting him and letting him in my house even though they haven't ever seen him before.

"Oh our phantom is back", Reiner said when I came to the kitchen. Yup, I knew it. This is going to be his new joke for a while and the hell will freeze when Connie and Sasha hears about this. They won't leave me alone, I'm so going to hear about it.

"Hahaha, really hilarious. I'm laughing so hard, I think I'm going to split into halves." I said and glared him for a moment, until I turned my gaze to Marco.

"I'm sorry if this big idiot harassed you already but that's just the way Reiner Braun is. Don't blame yourself, none can't help him." My grin was little playful and I hope Marco understood that I was just joking. It'd be awkward if he actually believed that Reiner was just some kind of pervert molester.

"Well, at least I am not the one who was walking here half-naked." Reiner mentioned and he knew it hit and sank. Thank you really much, I already forgot it.

"How did you actually end up coming here with Marco?"

Marco looked uncomfortable, he wasn't used to Reiner and Bertholdt yet. He was biting his lip, I've noticed he does that when he's nervous and he was rubbing his neck. He wanted to say something, but poor thing was too shy and didn't have enough courage. Aww, Marco you're just too precious.

"He was actually already here when we arrived to your front garden", Reiner said when Marco didn't let any sound.

"At first we thought he was just some creepy guy, but when he told us his name, we already realized he must be the one you've talked about. We let him come inside with us", Bertholdt continued and smiled. Oh, now I get it. So that's why he was with them.

"Did you rang the doorbell? I'm sorry, I didn't hear it in the bathroom."

"I really wonder why."

"Geez, thanks Reiner, I'll let you know when my concert is. You'll get the VIP ticket."

While me and Reiner were aiming our cheeky jokes and comments to each other, Bertholdt already started to take out things he had in the plastic bag what he'd bring with them. Marco was just watching my and Reiner's little word fight, but I was too busy to check was he amused or not.

"Stop it, we won't get anything done if you're focusing on that." Bertholdt finally decided to stop us before it got out of hand. Reiner laughed and patted my shoulder.

"Yeah, let's make some proper food. If we trust everything on Connie and Sasha, only God knows what kind of frankenfood we will encounter tomorrow", Reiner said and moved next to Bertholdt who was ready to start cooking.

I turned my gaze to Marco and smiled to him. I wanted him to feel comfortable and enjoy every moment. If it happens, then tomorrow won't be as awkward to him when he already knows Reiner and Bertholdt.

"I'm glad you were able to come here. We will at first make some sandwiches before we do anything more complicated", I explained to him and he nodded. I could see how he was starting to relax, it was a good sign.

I realized something smelled fishy in the kitchen and I turned my head toward Reiner and Bertholdt. What the hell now?

"Okay, what did you bring? That definitely isn't tuna fish", I asked.

"What? We didn't bring any fish with us", Reiner answered and sniffed the air, his facial expression changing hastily. He smelled it too.

"Actually..." My head turned right back to Marco and I looked at him. Then, out of the blue, he pulled a fucking fish out of his pocket. Smelly and slimy fish. From inside the pocket of his hoodie. That's nasty.

"I thought I should bring something with me too. And I thought you might not have fish, so I took one of the fishes we had. I like fish a lot."

Oh god Marco, you're sometimes a strange one. I don't mind if you love fish but keeping one in your pocket is definitely something I'd rather not want to see. Jesus.

"Oh... It's okay, I didn't know it and you're right, we don't have any fish foods." I tried to say that with straight face but I think he saw how confused I was. And disgusted too. I don't hate fish, but I can't still quite understand why it had to be inside his pocket.

We ended up doing three different kind of sandwiches. Bertholdt and Reiner made ham sandwiches and I did the chicken ones because I love chicken meat. It's so much better than pork but I don't mind pork either. I just prefer chicken more. Marco made some fish sandwiches but I had to help him when he cleaned and gut the fish. The weird thing I noticed was that the fish had some strange looking marks on it. It looked like some kind of animal had bit it, those were definitely teeth marks. Weird. But I didn't ask anything about it.

I made some chicken salad with Reiner while Bertholdt baked blueberry pie and Marco helped him when he needed help. I bet it must have looked so funny, four guys cooking in the kitchen like old grannies. Everything went smoothly but the only thing what annoyed me was the smell of fish. It was so strong and disgusting, even though we opened a window, it didn't go away. I have to take the trashes out, because there's no way in hell that I'm going to let kitchen's trash bin stay here when it's full of fish innards.

After everything was done, we packed them very carefully and filled the fridge. There's no chance we'd forget our lunch because we're gathering up here.

I thought Reiner and Bertholdt would leave after everything was done, but they'd already decided to spent some time here with me and Marco. Or if I know them well enough, they wanted to get to know Marco. I don't mind it, even though I'd prefer to be with Marco without any other person. Maybe this time it doesn't matter, I've been with him like every day.

We moved to the living room and turned the tv on. Nothing special came from there, so we just left it to be on the background.

"So Marco, are you new here? Haven't seen you around, this is so tiny place that almost everyone knows each other." There we go, that's the famous Reiner Braun. He was curious and didn't hesitate with his words. This wasn't the sort of situation where Reiner would've had to watch out what he said. He let the conversation flow freely.

"Well actually, I am. But I know the place, I used to spent my summers here because my aunt lived here. Unfortunately she moved away and it's a shame, I really like this place", Marco answered and smiled. His smile had some kind of effect on Reiner, because he tilted his head and stared at him curiously. Reiner didn't usually tilt his head like that.

"I see. Are you going to start school here on Autumn?"

Marco's smile disappeared and he let out sad sigh. Shortly after that he shook his head and his gaze fell.

"Unfortunately I think I'm not. I don't know how long I'll stay here. I have some things to do but after they're done, I'm not sure what's going to happen to me in the future."

What? No Marco please, don't say anything like that. I don't want you to go away. Reiner and Bertholdt looked at each other and then they were watching Marco again. The freckled boy looked like he didn't like the idea either. He had already started to like this place, I guess.

"Oh, that's sad. It'd have been nice to start a new school year with you, you seem to be pretty amazing guy", Bertholdt said and smiled. I don't know why but usually those kind of words grew other people's egos. Marco, on the other hand, seemed to not enjoy it and I can't understand why. He is amazing guy, why would he react like that when someone gave compliments to him? We all have our own skeletons hiding in the closets and it's okay if he has his own too.

"I'm not really that amazing." Marco's voice was so sad. Bertholdt and Reiner didn't notice it or if they did, they didn't say anything. Marco... what's making you sad? Please, I need to know. I can't stand myself or anything else if I don't know what's eating you from the inside.

"Well that's bullshit", Reiner announced and shook his head.

"If you're not that amazing, then why has our grumpy Jean started to change into different kind of Jean that we have never seen before? You're like a magician, you're doing some tricks and Jean is responding to them in a positive way. If you dare to say that you're not amazing, then I don't know what to say anymore. You have positive effect on others, or at least to Jean", Bertholdt praised and his soft words had their own power. Marco, who had looked so defeated, started to look more relaxed now.

"Marco, don't listen to her words. All she said was crap. She's worthless and an idiot if those are the only things she can see in you. You're a good guy." My words made Marco wince and his gaze lifted to me. He looked confused. I think he hadn't thought about the chance that I'd bring up that stupid girl again.

As you can guess, Reiner wanted to know more but I'm glad that Bertholdt hushed him. It wasn't their business and I didn't want to speak about her anymore. We can't kill the good mood now, the atmosphere in the room was just turning comfortable and Marco didn't look like a beaten puppy anymore.

Of course when everything was smooth enough, the tv decided to ruin everything.

We didn't even notice that the tv was on, until the news came and they started to speak about our hometown. It always caught our interest, our town wasn't usually on the news. Well, only when the disappearences happened, sometimes they brought it up to the media.

I was right when they started to speak about Mina Carolina's missing sister. No wonder that's why they spoke about our town in the tv.

"That really sucks. It's already hard for them to deal with this situation but now the media is reminding them almost every day and won't leave them alone." Bertholdt's words were nothing else but the ugly truth. I can't imagine how much it must hurt them. It'd be a little bit easier if they knew for sure what had happened to her and that if she was alive or not, but because she was missing, everything was much worse. They can't be sure about anything. It's just horrible and sad.

"I saw Mina while I was buying groceries today. She looked awful. It's so sad, before her sister disappeared she was like a blooming flower. Full of life and everything. Now she looks like there's nothing more in the world to her, like the world has give her a bitch slap straight on the cheek. Well, if you ask me, that's true." Reiner commented and sighed.

The reason why they brought up the subject in news was that the police had found more evidence about where she probably had disappeared. Also new blood traces was found and it was already confirmed that the blood was the victim's.

The whole room was silent, me and others too focused on the news. That's something new actually, there's never been these kind of evidences. It felt like the police was finally going to the right direction and maybe they'll find her, alive or dead. I'm sure she's no longer alive, there's just too much things proving that she was murdered.

Reiner and Bertholdt discussed something, I didn't focus on their words. My gaze moved to Marco, who was staring at the tv screen. His expression was sad, not that kind of sadness when you're pitying something. This sadness was something I couldn't really read from him. I'm not sure what it is, but it's very cold, I can almost feel it.

His eyes looked dead for a moment. It was horrible, those two mysterious eyes were lifeless and cold. Whatever was going on his mind wasn't something one'd like to even know.

Well, I'm dickhead, so of course I'll want to know more.

"Is everything okay?" I whispered and Marco winced, the life returning into his eyes. He turned his head toward me and I tried to study his face even more. Sadly I wasn't able to get anything new.

Marco nodded and let out heavy sigh. I hesitated for a moment until I gathered my courage and patted his shoulder. It's okay Marco, whatever is going on your mind. It's okay.

* * *

 

The time flew like always and before I noticed, Reiner and Bertholdt were already leaving. Marco didn't stay either, he left with them and I was happy that he already got along with half of my friends. Yeah, the other half is a whole different story. I hope everything goes well, it'd suck if Sasha and Connie scared Marco away.

It was very late, the sun had set already and it was dark.

I was closing the windows in the kitchen, even though the smell of fish was going to make me crazy. That fish smelled so much, is it even normal? Was it even a normal fish? I hope Marco didn't bring anything what's poisoned or something.

While I was working with the last window, I spotted something moving in the forest. I stared at it for a while until I closed the window and headed back to my room.

I waited for the sad whimpers to start, I knew that my rude friend was already coming here. When I didn't hear anything, I started to wonder if I had just imagined it. I closed my eyes and focused my sense of hearing. I was sure it was already on our backyard, why it wasn't letting any sounds as a hint that it's here.

Because I'm impatient brat, I couldn't wait any longer. I pulled the curtains away from my window and examined our backyard.

Nothing.

It wasn't there. My rude horse friend wasn't there. That's so weird and unusual, it's always here.

"Huh... maybe it already gave up."

I wasn't going to wait it. I'm too tired and if I go to sleep now, the next day will come faster.

* * *

 

_"Marco, where are we going?"_

_"I won't tell you, it'd just ruin the surprise."_

_We were walking in the forest, Marco heading two steps ahead and I followed him like a dog following its owner. I didn't recognize the forest, I'm sure I haven't been here before. Where are we? I have no idea._

_"Marco I'm sure we've been walking in circles. C'mon, are you even sure where are we right now?"_

_"Don't worry Jean, I won't let anything happen to you."_

_He turned his head to my direction for a moment and smiled. Somehow his smile just had the power to make me relax and feel less scared. I trust your words. Marco would never lie to me, he isn't that kind of dude._

_I huffed and watched around. We were walking deeper and deeper into the forest. I wonder how long we've been walking, but it's okay. I'm amazed about the fact that I'm not feeling tired yet. Wow, my fitness has improved._

_Something stole my attention and I turned my head to the right._

_It was moving between the trees and it was definitely keeping an eye on me. Dark weird shape was hiding in the shadows, all I managed to see was its eyes. They were glowing with crimson red color. I'm sure I saw something white and sharp too, like teeth which were sharp as knives._

_"Marco, I'm scared."_

_I didn't recognize my voice anymore, it was a little bit higher than usual. I sounded pathetic, like a lost child or something. I waited for his answer, his words which were going to make me feel safe._

_There was no answer._

_"Marco?"_

_I turned my head and I was horrified when I realized that he wasn't there anymore. Marco had disappeared, I was alone in the unknown. My heart was pounding like a witch drum and when something moved closer, my natural reaction was to flee._

_I ran. I ran like there was no tomorrow. Like my life depended on it. It probably did. I heard how something was right behind me, following me and trying to catch up to me._

_"Please, no. Leave me alone, I'm sorry if I interrupted you!"_

_I saw light and I took my last sprint. Yes, the end of the forest was right there. I'm going to make it!_

_It felt so good when I exited the forest and saw the night sky, full of stars. The full moon was lighting everything and it wasn't as dark as nights usually were. I tried to catch my breath and after I didn't sound like a dying whale, I looked around._

_I was standing there, close to the pond what's in the forest close to our house. Wait a minute, I was walking, or running, towards this place? Why I didn't recognize anything? What kind of witchcraft is this?_

_There was no time to think about that. Something stole my interest again._

_"Marco! Why did you leave me!" I whined._

_Marco was standing in the pond, the water reaching to his navel and he was showing his back toward me. He didn't have shirt and I couldn't tell if he had any other clothes on either. The water was dark and because of that I wasn't able to see. I assumed he had pants at least._

_He didn't answer me. It was making goosebumps to my skin, something was going on but I couldn't understand what._

_I heard a voice behind me and when I turned around, I saw the black horse. The horse looked odd too, I'm not sure why but something wasn't fine._

_"I'm sorry Jean."_

_When my gaze moved back to him, I saw how Marco was slowly disappearing to the water. Like something was pulling him below the surface of the water. I bit my lip way too hard and my legs moved. I ran to the water and tried to get closer. No Marco, I won't let that happen. I'm coming, wait just a little longer._

_I reached my hand toward him but he had already disappeared again. No!_

_"Marco! I'm going to help you, you hear me? Where are you?"_

_My shouts revealed how scared I was. I dived and tried to touch him, the problem was that I didn't find him under the water. Where was he? I'm sure he should be somewhere close._

_The water started to make my eyes burning in pain too much like a water they used in the swimming bath. I tried to stay as long as I could, but the oxygen was going to end and the pain was real._

_I had to resurface and I did it. I breathed lustfully oxygen and rubbed my eyes. Agh, it hurt._

_As I was trying to make my eyes stop feeling the burning pain, I noticed how my hands were somehow weird. I took a better glance of them and I was able to feel how the color was escaping from my face._

_My hands were bloody._

_The blood was mixing with the water and I tried to search the source of the blood. It wasn't me._

_Something came from under the water and I didn't want to check what it was, I just ran back on to the land. My whole body was shivering and I felt a gaze on me._

_I turned around and the stallion was right behind me. Its eyes were glowing the crimson redness, it felt like it was staring right into my soul._

* * *

 

I startled awake and I felt how my body was covered with the cold sweat. Oh god, what kind of dream was that supposed to be? Well, not a dream, more like nightmare. I whined without realizing it at first, my body still shaking and my head full of the pictures of the nightmare.

How I am supposed to continue my sleep just after seeing something like that? The clock was just one AM, I still had a lot of time to sleep before my wake-up was turning on. I ran my hand couple of times through my hair, it was wet and just disgusting. I can't remember when was the last time I saw something like that.

The kitchen was eerie without lights. I was too lazy to turn them on, so I just headed to the fridge, took juice can out of it and poured it to the glass. Everything felt so weird and I tried to understand my dream. I understood absolutely nothing. It was really strange and I couldn't come up with any reason why I had actually seen a dream like that.

I drank a little bit and then I heard it. The sad whimper. No, it wasn't the usual sound. This time it sounded like it was in pain.

It didn't take long until I was standing at our back door, the glass in my hand dropping to the ground and smashing into tiny pieces. I'm sure my face is pale like a chalk, my other hand raising and then covering my mouth.

"Oh my god."

The horse was again here. It's here but not in the condition it has usually been.

Its breathing was heavier than usual and its legs were shivering a little bit. The red blood flowed from its back and its head, there was even a nasty looking wounds on its legs. It looked like the horse had been on the serious fight or something. Some of the wounds were like they've been made with teeth and the others looked like something had cut its skin.

"What happened to you buddy?" I asked. My voice was trembling and I winced when the horse took steps toward me. Then it lost its balance and fell down. It all happened like it was a slow-motion scene and I almost stepped on the glass chips.

I was way too fast when I went to get the towel, water it a little bit and then came back to backyard. The horse was lying on its side, breathing heavily and it didn't even react when I came right next to it.

I sat down and pressed the wet and chilly fabric against its bleeding wound. The horse winced and lifted its head, staring at me with its dark eyes. This is actually the first time when I noticed that it had very dark eyes. I thought they were fully white, maybe the angle fooled me when I was watching it from my window.

"Easy buddy, you're hurt. I'm not trying to hurt you more, I'm trying to help you. Do you even know how nasty those wounds look?" I tried to calm it down. The horse was wise enough to relax soon. It made my job a lot easier when I didn't have to worry about the stallion going mad or something.

"That's right. Who hurt you? Who dared to hurt a beautiful horse like you?"

The animal let out soft huff. I could still feel its gaze, it was keeping an eye on me. What's wrong buddy? I thought you already knew who I am, that's why you keep coming back, right?

I moved right next to its head and then my heart broke completely.

The horse lifted its head again and stared at me, until it let out weak and pathetic attempt to neigh or something. I'm sure I was able to feel how my heart got broken and separated into two halves. No, you're going to be okay. Trust me, you're going to get back onto your legs.

I tried to calm the horse again, this time stroking under its mane. It was clearly making the animal feel better, because the stallion pressed its head onto my lap and closed its eyes. I've never seen any horse doing anything like that.

I petted it like it was the last thing I'd do. The horse didn't mind it, in fact it looked like it enjoyed it. I noticed something green was hanging on its tail and mane. Some kind of plant or something.

Wait, I've seen them before. I took a better glance. Yes, now I know what those plants are.

Seaweeds.

Suddenly it opened its eyes again and lifted its head. I wonder why it did it, but then I noticed something moving on the forest again. The horse, even though I'm sure it was in pain, looked like it wanted to growl like a dog. The way it stared into the darkness was something I've only seen in the television. It was the gaze that belonged to the predator.

Somehow the horse got quickly back onto its legs and even though there were many bleeding wounds, it didn't pay any attention to them. It probably even ignored the pain it had.

"No way, you're going to overdo yourself." My voice sounded so weak and I wanted the pitch black horse just to stay here and lie down. It wasn't in the great condition and it was just going to get worse.

Then I realized what made it so angry.

Another predator.

I stood up and tried to get closer to the animal again, but it looked too angry. I think I shouldn't approach it now or I'm going to end up having red hoof print somewhere in my body. I don't want to take the risk.

Still I tried to speak to the horse and calm it down, but it was pointless. The stallion had already decided that it just had to be angry and maybe chase away this other animal what was hiding in the shadows. I don't know if it's me but it felt like the horse was trying to protect my home. Or me. I'm not quite sure what was the point of its actions.

I reached my hand again toward the horse and I failed, the horse had already left me before I was able to touch it. I watched how it galloped to the forest and then disappeared. Angry neigh came and then a sound what made goosebumps to my skin. It was so manlike, it really sounded like it was human's scream. I was petrified, I didn't know what I was supposed to do.

* * *

 

_I watched the pond and waited for him, even though I knew he wasn't going to show up. Marco was still under the water, I wouldn't be able to find him even if I tried to. It was like the water had swallowed him and then he'd just vanished._

_The horse was standing next to me, I felt its warm breath. I didn't pay any attention to it, even though it tried to make me look at it sometimes. I was waiting him._

_Half of the water was colored red, crimson red. It was blood, even an idiot would realize it sooner or later. I knew it right after I tried to help him and get him back._

_I closed my eyes and bit my lip. Where are you? What happened, why did you disappear? You wanted to surprise me, right? That's what I thought. Where'd you go?_

_I felt how two arms wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me into an embrace. I opened my eyes but I couldn't turn my head. I felt hot breath on my other ear, someone was right behind me._

_"I need your help Jean."_

_His voice was lower than usual. I'm not sure was it because of the fact that he whispered or was it something else. I felt how my face was getting more hotter, probably my cheeks were already starting to reddish a little bit._

_"Anything for you, Marco. What do you want? What do you need?" I said and closed my eyes again. His grip grew tighter and he was so close to me. The strange thing was that he was cold as ice. Like his body didn't try to warm him up. Is it even normal?_

_"Remember before it's too late."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry about my inactivity with fanfics. I've been really, REALLY BUSY.  
> I was working the whole May and it took almost all of my energy. Then I graduated from High school and just after that, me and my friends took a little cottage trip. After that it was time for Desucon (anime&manga event here) and I've been lacking the energy to write! Ugh I feel a little guilty but I'm trying to work with my fics more now. 
> 
> Yes and another thing, you might have seen that I use pronoun "it" when I speak about the horse. I know that in English language animals are usually pronounced either he or she. Well the fun fact is that in Finland, we use pronoun "se" when we talk about animals. "Se" is literally just "it" and we've been taught to not pronounce animals with the pronoun "hän" what's in English "She/he" (Our pronoun is genderneutral btw). I'm really, really sorry if I offend you or something when I use the pronoun 'it'. It's just because if I write he/she when I'm talking about animal, it feels wrong to me because in our language, it's not the way to describe any animal. 
> 
> Yush, I think that's all for this time. Thank you really much for the patience and we see in the next chapter!  
> The next chapter is going to be the picnic day! Yay! ≧^◡^≦
> 
> Oh and one more thing. If you feel like you need to contact me really badly, you can do it on my [Tumblr](http://suspiciouslandlady.tumblr.com/) or you can send me email. You can find it on my profile here!  
> I decided to keep any information about this fic in my tumblr with tags fic: RWTK or simply just fic: Ride with the kelpie
> 
> OMG yesterday was our precious freckled angel's birthday. Hngh, happy late birthday sweetheart, if only I wouldn't be so lazy and busy and everything... (╥﹏╥)


	4. Happy Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Be careful Jean. If you keep doing that kind of stuff, we really have to take you to the doctor. Just to make sure that you're really okay",

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's picnic time, and we're so happy together. Or are we? I wonder that.  
> At the end of the chapter, there's going to be a little bit more heavy and brutal stuff than what's been in the other chapters, so I'm warning you about that, whoops...  
> \----
> 
> Me and you and you and me  
> No matter how they toss the dice, it had to be  
> The only one for me is you and you for me  
> So happy together
> 
> The Turtles - Happy Together

I was freezing, everything felt cold as ice and the only warm thing what I felt were hot tears running down my cheeks from my closed eyes. The air I was breathing was fresh and clean. I should wake up but I'm afraid, I'm not sure I want to know where I'll wake up. I'm scared, what if I find myself in the forest, close to the pond, alone?

"I found him! Jean!"

Someone's calling my name. Who is it? I know that voice but I can't link it to the owner of it. I hear footsteps. Please, I don't want to wake up. Leave me alone.

"Oh my god, is he okay?"

I can feel how there's different gazes on me. I'm afraid that if I wake up now, he will disappear. I don't want it to happen, it's nice that Marco has wrapped his arms tightly and protectively around my shoulders. Can I stay in this dream forever?

"Jean!"

Someone was shaking me very carefully and I couldn't stay asleep anymore. I opened my eyes slowly, but everything was blurry. Where am I? I blinked my eyes couple of times until my vision started to become clear. The first thing I saw was clear blue sky and a bird flying away. This isn't my bedroom, I realized quickly.

The next thing my eyes catch was three worried faces. Connie and Sasha were trying to ask me something but I didn't focus on their words. It just went in one ear and out the other. Bertholdt was watching me, his gaze drilling into me and his worried eyes were full of distress. I've never seen it before.

"Can you hear me?" Connie asked and waved his arm in front of my face and it worked. I finally became fully aware of the surroundings.

"Jean are you hurt? What happened?" Sasha continued and when I sat up, they looked like they had doubted that I'd be able to do it. I took a look of myself and then it really hit me why they were so worried about me.

I think I've slept outside the whole night and that's the reason why I'm feeling like I'm going to freeze any minute, no matter how the sun is shining and warming the day.

My clothes were wet because of the grass and the scariest part was the stains in my pants and shirt. They were reddish brown, probably from my big and wounded visitor from last night. I remember how I tried to clean its cuts and wounds but I wasn't even done half with them when the horse decided to run back into the forest.

"Uhh. I'm fine.. I guess?" My answer was shitty and I knew it.

My gaze moved away from my friends and I stared at the forest. There was something last night and whatever it was, I think it was the reason why the horse was so bloody and injured. The horse saw it as a big threat, that's why it went back, right? Horses usually ran away from problems and predators, but this horse just galloped back and surely fought again. There must be some reason for it to do something like that.

I closed my eyes and my thoughts were repeating the events from last night. I'd see over and over again the bloody horse, coming closer to me and then falling down to the ground. It was scary, I have to agree about that. I've never felt as helpless as I felt then. The stallion seemed to trust me enough to let me get closer and help it.

I must have fallen asleep right after the horse left me.

The nightmare I saw was horrible. I just can't understand what's the meaning of these strange dreams. They began after that horse started to come here. And it seems that Marco is also a very popular theme of my dreams... wait, Marco!

"Earth to Jean, did you listen to anything what we've been talking to you?" Sasha's voice cut my thoughts and I was back in the reality. While I was lost in my thoughts, Reiner had also come here.

"Do we need to call an ambulance or something?" Reiner asked and glanced others. I'm not even sure if it was supposed to be a joke or was he seriously asking it.

"Dude, we're worried about you. Try to stay with us!" Connie said after shaking me a little bit again.

"Is Marco here?"

All four of them were silent, watching me like I was an alien from outer space. Then Reiner let out a sigh of relief and shook his head in frustration for a moment. "Well, if our Romeo is already asking after his Juliet, I think he doesn't need any medical attention", he said and Bertholdt gave him another glance what I've never actually seen either. He was trying to hush him, making Reiner stop those jokes at moments like these but Reiner just couldn't give up this habit of his.

"Are you serious? We find you sleeping on your backyard, looking like you've been murdered and the first real thing you say, or in this case ask, is about that freckled babe who's already made you lose your mind", Connie complained, his tone of voice little annoyed and offended.

"Yeah, you gave us an heart attack! It was so close that we didn't call an ambulance at first before making sure you were alive!" Sasha's voice was also frustrated but there were still a little glimpses of pure worry.

After they scolded me enough, they finally answered to my question. Marco wasn't arrived yet and somehow it made me relieved. I wouldn't want to scare him like I had already scared the others. I felt a little bit guilty but hey, I didn't choose to sleep in a place like this.

They told me that after the assault on the doorbell and at least two thousand unanswered calls later, Reiner and Bertholdt decided to do the same trick as they did yesterday. Well, it's nothing new, because Connie does it too when he knows I'm still asleep. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing that those four know where the spare key is hidden. Probably if I value sleeping enough, I should change the key's hiding place.

I went to change my clothes and clean myself while the others started to pack our picnic lunch into the cool bag. I pushed the pictures of last night's nightmare to somewhere deep in my mind, where they couldn't be found anymore. I just don't want to remember anything about it.

Everything was packed and we waited. Marco should be here any minute now.

We sat around the dining table and waited. The clock was ticking and after a while, Reiner decided to try and guess what kind of picnic lunch Connie and Sasha had prepared. However the duo wasn't going to tell him until the moment when it was time to eat lunch.

Bertholdt watched the scene between Connie, Sasha and Reiner. He really did his best to try and guess, Connie and Sasha just didn't want to reveal what frankenfood they had.

I took a glance of the bags that were on the floor. Two cool bags, one traditional wooden basket and then two little bags where probably were their towels, other pair of dry clothes and swim suits if they weren't already wearing them. I had also a tiny bag where I'd packed my swim shorts and towel.

I kept watching the clock on the wall. It was only five past eleven, so Marco wasn't really that late. We were supposed to meet at my house at eleven at the latest.

Well, that was only what we were supposed to do.

As the time passed and others were starting to wonder should we move the lunch back to the fridge, I was getting worried. When Marco was already thirty minutes late, I had had enough of waiting.

Where is he? I think this is weird, because the impression he has given me about himself is definitely making me believe that he isn't the type to be late. He seems to be a guy who's punctual. Very punctual.

I felt how the atmosphere was getting a little tense, Connie was huffing because of the growing frustration. Sasha tapped the table with her forefinger. Reiner and Bertholdt were talking but I knew they were as bored as Connie and Sasha.

I was getting annoyed as well. I hate waiting, did I mention it before? Maybe. What is taking him so long? What if something has happened to him? Ugh Marco, please come as fast as possible before the hell's going to be released.

The thought of Marco deciding to ditch this whole plan came to my mind, but I was very fast to get rid of it. No, that's not something Marco would do. He's too kind for that. Well, at least if something came up, he would have informed me about it. Right? I hope so. This doesn't really feel like Marco's normal behavior.

The ring of the doorbell startled me but I was quick when I moved to the door and opened it.

"Oi, Marco. You're really late, do you know--" I was going to lecture him, when suddenly I just stopped and watched him.

Marco looked already like he'd been scolded enough. His gaze didn't meet with mine, it was somewhere on the ground. Like he was avoiding my eyes, like he was scared to face me. The small amount of anger I had was already gone and replaced with concern.

"Marco, what happened?" I asked, my voice now softer than it was before. He winced when he heard his name, his gaze finally lifting from the ground. He made the eye contact with me and it felt like I was stabbed with a knife or something. His eyes, his beautiful and mysterious eyes, were full of anxiety and fear. He looked like someone had blew off his zest for life.

"I'm sorry that I'm late. I had things to do and I wasn't able to come earlier."

He gave me apologetic smile, like he was trying to gather himself in front of me and failed entirely. I don't think the main reason for his timid appearence is caused by the fear of being scolded by me. There's something more and deep behind that, I just have no idea what.

"It's okay, really. Don't worry, I'm glad that you at least arrived. We can now pick up our things and go." I tried to sound encouraging and change the mood. I'm not sure if it worked, but all Marco did was nod.

Marco had brought a shoulder bag with him, so I think he has prepared for this day as well. I smiled at him and my smile grew when he gave me back a very small and somehow shy smile. It wasn't the smile he usually wore but it was enough for me.

"Others are already here. You want to introduce yourself to them before we leave?" I asked and I noticed how Marco straightened his back and nodded again, looking like he was mentally preparing himself.

He stepped inside and took off his shoes. Before he reached the kitchen, I stopped him by putting my hand on his shoulder. He winced and stopped, turning his head and looking at me over his shoulder.

"Don't worry, it's going to be fine. They won't eat you, Sasha and Connie are eager to meet you. Just be yourself and I can promise they'll like you." I decided to give him some encouraging words since he looked like he needed them. And they hit and sunk, this time he flashed his lovely smile and thanked me.

Don't worry Marco.

I moved to the kitchen and announced that Marco had arrived. Everyone went silent, Sasha and Connie looking cheery and curious again. There wasn't any hint of their earlier frustration, it was all gone. Like I said, they were so eager to meet Marco.

I turned to look at the door and tried to wave him to show himself. I hope he isn't already getting uncomfortable again, I want him to relax and enjoy this day.

After Marco had mentally prepared himself enough, he came to the kitchen with a shy expression on his face.

"Hey Marco, good to see you again." Reiner didn't hesitate to open his mouth and greet him. Bertholdt nodded next to Reiner and greeted him as well.

Sasha took a glance of Reiner and Bertholdt, her gaze showed how surprised she was. She and Connie didn't know that Reiner and Bertholdt had met him yesterday. I had thought that it wouldn't be necessary to them to know about it.

"Hi. I'm sorry I made you wait me, there was some things what prevented me from coming earlier." Marco said and scratched the back of his neck. He was nervous as hell, I was able to read that from his body language. Shit, this can turn out to be a big failure if Sasha or Connie makes him uncomfortable

"Oi Marco, don't worry about it! We're glad you were able to come with us!" Connie said and Sasha nodded hard.

They hopped off of the chairs and moved closer to Marco. At first he looked like a cornered animal, not sure what was going to happen when those two reached him. I'm glad at least Sasha seemed to read his body language as well, deciding to give him some space and smiling friendly.

"It's nice to meet you finally. I'm Sasha", she introduced herself.

"And I'm Connie! We've heard about you from Jean and from what we've heard, you seem to be a fine guy. Nice to have you around today!" Connie said.

The atmosphere started to turn comfortable and relaxed and I saw how Marco looked like the weight from his shoulders had dropped. He didn't look like he was scared to death, he was finally relaxing and maybe feeling himself home here.

"Ah, I think it's more like my pleasure! I'm Marco Bodt, nice to meet you!" Marco was full of enthusiasm now and the way he introduced himself was way too cute for this world. Oh god Marco, you're still the innocent and pure cinnamon roll, I hope you know that.

"Jean has talked about me to you?" He continued soon and glanced at me, like he was wondering was it true or not.

"You can't even guess how much! Dude, I've never seen Jean like that before!" Connie laughed and I tried to hush them. I felt how I was turning red with embarrassment. Did they really have to brought that up at the moment like this? I wanted to hide my face but I couldn't. Sasha began to laugh and Reiner after her.

Sometimes my friends can be big jackasses.

* * *

  
The forest wasn't dark, but it wasn't really light either. Most of the trees blocked the sun rays from the sky. The forest itself was very alive though, birds singing everywhere and little breeze blew, making the treetops move and sough.

I can't remember exactly when was the last time I was walking this little path but it didn't matter. The forest was still like it had always been. Peaceful and mysterious, maybe even a little magical. It was like a secret world, pristine and sensitive. The flowers were blooming even though they barely got sunlight. They were like little fighters, the lack of sunlight didn't stop them from showing the whole world how beautiful they were.

Sasha and Connie were already sprinting ahead of us, following the small trail and trying to get us move faster. They were full of energy, I always wonder where it all comes from. They're like little monkeys, Sasha's brown ponytail swinging rapidly at every step she took. I wasn't worried about them, they knew the path and if they fell down and hurt themselves, it's not my fault. I'd be more worried about the wooden lunch basket they had. If it opened and spread everything inside of it to the nature, they'd be to ones to eat them.

I was silently walking behind Reiner and Bertholdt. They talked sometimes and then after a while they fell silent and just enjoyed the nature itself and the forest's own sounds.

Reiner carried the other cool bag and guess who was carrying the other one?

Ding ding, correct. Me.

My gaze moved to Marco, who was walking next to me and turning his head around, taking glances of the area. I love the way his eyes were almost shining with all the excitment and respect toward nature. He looked more like a kid at Christmas morning, admiring everything he could see. It was too damn precious.

"Do you like it?" I asked. He turned his head and took a glance of me before he nodded and blessed me with his beautiful smile. His eyes were so alive, so full of life and so full of pure happiness.

"Jean, this forest is breathtaking! Really, do people come here often?" Marco asked curiously and tried to keep his eyes on me, even though he wanted eagerly watch the green grass, the blooming flowers and everything else what was here. I was satisfied with his reaction, even though the earlier memory still haunted in my head. Marco had looked so lost and so lifeless, like he was ready to give up on everything.

"Nope, that's why this place is like straight from a fairy tale. People haven't corrupted it." I couldn't hold my smirk, it was true. This forest was pretty much untouchable, people didn't visit here often. This little trail we were walking down has always been here. It wasn't clear path, but it was the most direct path to the glade where the pond was located.

Marco was lost in his thoughts, still admiring the nature and smiling like an angel. So innocent and so beautiful. I couldn't help but smile too, his good mood was very catchy. Maybe it was also because of the magic what this forest held.

Even though everything looked so beautiful, something was eating my mood a little bit somewhere inside my mind. My mind tried to travel back to the injured horse, it had galloped here last night and I guess it had also fought with the other animal that had been hiding in the shadows. I wouldn't want to find a dead horse here, it'd just ruin the mood completely. I hadn't seen any sign of the fight between the stallion and the other animal, I assume it's a good sign. I'm not sure.

I didn't want to think about it anymore, not now. We're here for fun, this is supposed to be funny and great day, so let's not ruin it with this stupid shit. Why was I worried about that horse anyway? It's not mine, so I shouldn't care. It is its owner's problem. To be honest, I have to say that whoever owns the damn horse is probably the shittiest owner of the year. I just can't understand who ignores their animal like that, leaving it at the mercy of the nature without a worry in the world.

The little 'tch' escaped from my mouth and I tried to cheer up. I turned my head and glanced at Marco's way, his sweet way to get excited about the nature was always the greatest trick to cheer up.

However, it didn't cheer me up. The worry inside me started to build up and my heart was aching.

Marco, who had been so cheerful and lively just a couple of minutes ago, looked now like the world had turned its back on him. His gaze had fell down to the grass, those brown eyes glazed, and the way he looked like he was staring off into the distance felt like it was twisting my heart. Something was making him to be in low spirits. It was like something was eating him from the inside. His gaze was as cold and sad as it had been yesterday.

I placed my hand onto his shoulder, accidentally making him wince but at the same time he kinda woke up again. The life was returning into his eyes and he lifted his gaze from the ground and looked at me. My attempt to smile was pathetic but I still tried. "Are you okay? You look like you’re kinda down. Is something bothering you?"

I caught something weird in his gaze. For a moment, I was sure I’d seen that gaze before, it was so painful and he looked like he was doubting something. Suddenly I felt like I was melting, warm feeling inside me growing stronger and bigger. It was like there was some kind of invisible bond between us. Like the bond was trying to pull me closer to Marco, trying to message me that I should wrap my arms around him and protect him from the whole world.

He looked a little bit scared now, staring into my eyes and I’m sure if I just tried a little, I could hear his heartbeat. His rapidly beating heart in his chest, beating against the ribcage. For a moment, I think the world around us went all blurry, my eyes locked on Marco. _Hush Marco, everything’s alright. I’m here, nothing’s gonna hurt you._

Whatever snapped me back to the reality, I’m really thankful about it. After the strange haze had left my mind alone, I found myself standing in front of Marco. I was very close to him, I must have moved without realizing it. He looked like he had seen a ghost or something, words didn’t manage to come out of his mouth. I felt how my face was turning boiling hot, the blush already growing onto my cheeks. Marco’s gaze soon calmed down, changing more tender but he was still speechless.

"What are you two doing? C'mon, Sasha and Connie are already there!"

Reiner's low voice was strong enough to shake me and I let out a vague squeak. I managed to stutter weak apology and continued walking. I felt Marco's gaze on my back, he was probably standing there in a confusion for a while until he started to follow me.

What is wrong with me?

* * *

  
"There you are! What took you guys so long, we already spread out the blanket and changed into our swim wears!" Sasha shouted when we finally arrived to the glade. I didn't listen what Reiner answered to her, I was lost in my thoughts about the strange haze I felt just a while ago.

The huge blanket was lying on the grass, the wooden basket in the middle of it. How cliché, it reminded the scenes in the movies where characters were on the picnic. I lowered the cool bag from my shoulder to the ground and Reiner did the same. After my shoulder was free from the heavy bag, I rolled my shoulder, it hurt a little because of the weight of the damn bag.

There was a giant rock close by and I didn't have to say anything, Reiner was already heading toward it with his shoulder bag. He was going to change into his swin trunks behind the rock, thank you Reiner that you didn't start to strip here in front of everyone. It seems that Bertholdt was the only one who was wise enough to get into the swim trunks before coming here. He had just put on the other clothes and now all he needed to do was take off his pants and shirt. Clever as always.

After Reiner came back, wearing his silly striped swim trunks, I let Marco go and change before it was my turn. I zipped my bag open and took out my towel and swim trunks. I tried to ignore how Reiner was giving his opinion about Bertholdt's new swimming shorts because I knew he was going to make a comment or two about his ass, too. I don't want to hear it, lalala.

Connie and Sasha had already moved closer to the pond. It was huge and it really looked like a lake, but indeed it was just a pond. The water wasn't that clear but it wasn't dirty either. The water looked more like it was dark, there was no way to see the bottom of the pond. It was muddy though, when you stepped into water, your feet were welcomed by cold mud bottom. There was also a bunch of different water plants, tickling your feet until you had swam further enough. I don't know how deep the pond is, but I think it must be really deep. I remember how I tried to reach the bottom every time when me and some of my friends came here to swim. It was the time when I wasn't such a loser kid. I never managed to reach the bottom though.

Marco jogged back when he had changed into his swim shorts. I must say, it was a really nice view and if I'd have been a total asshole, I'd have whistled. The way his deep black swim trunks hugged his ass was pure perfection. They fit him so perfectly. My eyes wandered on his swim trunks before I started to take a mental notes about his body. Fuck, it was just like I had dreamed. He looked like the epitome of perfection. The way his whole body was splattered with freckles was like watching exotic animal. Damn.

Before I was going to lock my dirty gaze on him, I ran away to the rock and started to change into my swim shorts. Why I am looking at him like that? I just complimented his ass, what the fuck. My cheeks felt hot when I thought about it. Fuck this shit. Reiner seems to be bad company, I think he has corrupted me or something. Is it even okay to shot dirty looks towards your friend?

When I arrived back to the blanket and stuffed my clothes to my bag, I watched how Connie and Sasha dipped their feet into the water and praised something about the water being cold. The day was already hot, sometimes it even felt like I was going to melt or something. Chilly water will help at the days like these.

My gaze moved back to Marco and I noticed something on his hands and his back. There were red marks, not angry red but visible enough to be seen. I leaned a little bit toward him, luckily he was standing and watching how the two monkeys were probably already swimming like fishes. I hope he doesn't turn around now, he'd catch my stare if he did that. Those red things looked like old wounds, they must be because there's a lot of scar tissue. I wanted to ask him where he got those, but then he'd guess that I was staring at him like an old pervert man watching a peep show about naked ladies.

"Jean, keep your eyes away from the booty."

I winced and turned my gaze toward Reiner, who was grinning and holding his laughter. Marco turned around and gave an asking gaze toward me and the other blond. I'm not sure if he heard it or was he just lost in his own thoughts when Reiner decided to embarrass me.

"Nope, I was watching those two monkeys." I nodded my head toward the water and then my gaze was back on Reiner, who didn't really believe my poor excuse.

"Mmm yeah, sure you did." He answered and smirked. Thank you Reiner so much! I huffed and moved my eyes on Marco, who was still looking at us. When our gazes met, he tilted his head like a puppy and I could swear that I felt like I was going to melt under his gaze.

"I think we should eat now before we go to swim", Bertholdt interrupted and I agreed with him, it sounded like a good plan. I had skipped the breakfast anyway and the thought about lunch was too tempting.

By the time we had unpacked our lunch, Sasha and Connie ran back to us and sat down to the blanket. We didn't even say anything to them before, it was like they had smelled the food. They were both soaking wet, and the spots where they sit were already wet too. Well at least they had had fun and they looked like they really enjoyed themselves.

I started to eat one of the chicken sandwiches I had made yesterday and while eating it, I stared curiously what Connie and Sasha had brought with them. Or what horrifying things we were going to see today.

Everything looked fine at first. Sasha unpacked a packet of wieners and opened it. The smell hit our noses immediately and I couldn't help but wrinkle my nose.

"Are you going to eat wieners only?" Reiner asked and Sasha shot a glance to him, her lips curling up to a smile. She shook her head as an answer and somehow her gaze was mischievous. Oh god help us, there was going to be something really weird. When she gave those kind of gazes, it always meant that something was up to.

"No, we have dip for them!" Connie announced and he took two yogurt packets out of the cool bag. The horror-stricken expression crawled onto my face and Reiner was wrinkling his nose too.

"You can't be serious, please don't tell me you're not going to do what I'm thinking you will." I stopped munching and stared at the duo. Ew, I think I don't want to see this.

Connie ripped off the cover of the yogurt pack and reached to the wiener. After that, he looked so proud when he dipped the wiener into the yogurt and then he started to eat it like it was the best damn food in the whole world. Sasha did the same and they both looked like they were in food heaven or something.

Absolutely disgusting.

Reiner looked horrified too, these were always the rare moments when he looked like that. Well, what else would you expect when we were familiarized with these strange mixes and frankenfood those two liked to try and eat.

Bertholdt didn't say anything but I knew he was as disgusted as we are. He was just too polite to show it with expressions, only his eyes showed how he probably was thinking the same thoughts as me and Reiner. Marco didn't even look at the couple and their strange food habits. He was lost in his thoughts again, sometimes taking a bite of his fish sandwich.

My eyes locked onto him again and when I stared more, I started to notice a lot of things from him that I hadn't noticed before. Even though his body looked so perfect, I was still able to see couple of his ribs. They weren't so visible and the freckles fooled eyes a lot, but if you just focused enough and stared, you were able to see them. The old scar tissue wounds looked more like something or someone had scratched them. Or cut them, they looked very straight.

Marco suddenly turned and glanced at me. I was staring back, locking our gazes and then smiling at him. He seemed to drop his worried thoughts because he smiled back and his smile just squeezed my heart.

After we ate enough (and saw more of those awful food choices Sasha and Connie showed to us), we packed everything back to the cool bags. We'd eat again after swimming. And if there was going to be leftovers, I knew I'd keep them or give them to someone else.

Sasha was the first one to run back to the pond with Connie right behind her, both of them laughing like a kids and then they just jumped into the water. It was very amusing to watch it but then my gaze moved to Reiner, who lifted Bertholdt onto his shoulder and ran after the duo to the water. Bertholdt tried to stop him and begged him to let go, but did Reiner listen? Nope, he didn't. He laughed and soon both of them were in the water too, Reiner trying to swim away while Bertholdt was trying to catch him.

"C'mon Jeanbo, the water ain't going to wait you forever! Move your bony ass here!" Connie shouted and waved his hand until Sasha giggled and pressed him under the water. I couldn't help but sigh and then smile. My friends can be ridiculous time to time but they're all I have and to be honest, I wouldn't change them, no matter what was offered to me.

I turned my head towards Marco and smiled even more. "You heard what he said, let's go before they ruin the pond completely!" I said and Marco nodded, smiling and we both ran to the pond. When my other leg felt the cold water, I winced. I hadn't expected it to be that cold, damn! But Marco, he didn't seem to be bothered by the chilly water. He continued his way into the water and then he dived like a fucking fish.

My mind hit the pictures of the nightmare from last night in front of my eyes and I suddenly felt how the panic was growing inside my chest. My legs shivered a little bit while I walked deeper to the water, walking changing into swimming soon. I looked around and I didn't see Marco anywhere, all I saw was my other friends. He was still under the water.

I felt a hand touching my leg and I almost screamed. My heart jumped to my throat and I'm glad I didn't run back to the grass. Marco appeared from the water soon, laughing and staring at me. Normally I'd be really blissful after seeing Marco laughing and being the happiest dude in the world. Now, unfortunately, I was like a rock. Stiff and tense.

Marco's facial expression changed quickly after he saw how my face looked like I was ready to cry and how horrified I had been. "Jean, are you okay? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you like that." He squeaked and his eyes were starting to show how he was actually panicking or something. I bit my lip for a moment, trying to hold myself in a one piece but I guess I failed completely. I moved into his personal space, wrapped my hand around him and nuzzled my face against his chest. He yelped because of how surprised he was. But we both soon sank under the water, maybe because I pressed myself so hard against him or something.

My eyes were open but I couldn't see anything in the depths of the water. It was all dark and cold. I didn't notice my grip went loose before I wasn't nuzzled against Marco anymore. Marco was already swimming back to take some air but I kept falling down. Weird. I tried to look upward but I couldn't see anything except the glimmer of light what probably was reflected by the surface of the water.

I felt something slimy touching my foot and it startled me. I could hear someone calling my name somewhere above the surface but I didn't have strength to swim up. It was like my whole body was paralyzed or something. I couldn't move my limbs even if I tried. I just kept sinking and sinking.

The oxygen was running low, I felt the need to breath so badly but I still held it, I was under the water. It wouldn't help at all if I tried to breath. There was a strange pressure on my chest, I have no idea what it was. In the darkness, I saw two red dots far away. The panic grew bigger and I was now trying to swim, trying to move my legs and my hands. The red dots came closer and something slimy tied around my feet. When the red dots were close enough, I realized they were actually a pair of eyes which were glowing red. Whatever the thing or the creature was, it swam around me like a predator. It was close to my face and I saw the perfect teeth row, a lot of white teeth which were sharp as knives.

Something wrapped around my torso and I couldn't hold my breath anymore. My lungs started to fill with ice cold water and I tried to shake myself away from the thing what had a grip on me. My mind started to go blurry but I remember hitting my other elbow to something or someone.

Suddenly everything was white and I wasn't under the water anymore. I coughed and felt how the water I had accidentally swallowed was sloshing inside my stomach. After coughing a while, something triggered the gagging reflex, but nothing came up. My heart was beating hard against my ribcage and I shivered like crazy.

"Jean! Are you okay?" Bertholdt asked and I realized that I was now sitting on the grass, surrounded by Bertholdt, Connie and Sasha. Reiner and Marco were a little further away, Marco pressing his hand to his nose. I could see the blood that was leaking between his fingers and falling to the grass, coloring it red as well.

The realization hit me hard when I finally linked everything. Me and Marco sank under the water because of my acts, but for some reason I didn't swim up like Marco did. I just kept sinking and maybe the lack of oxygen made me delusional or something and I saw something horrible because of the nightmares. Marco probably understood what was happening and went after me, helping me back below the surface while I was resisting, I even hit my elbow on his nose. Oh god.

"I'm.. I'm okay, don't worry about me. Oh god, is Marco okay?" I asked, my voice shaking and I wonder how they managed to understand me. Sasha was stroking my hand while Connie went to get my towel and then after that, he wrapped it around my shoulders.

"Don't worry, he'll be okay. You just elbowed his nose pretty hard but luckily, it doesn't look like it's broken. It's only bleeding." I'm so glad Bertholdt's voice was so calm, it calmed me too and the shivering had started to slow down.

"What was that? Jean, I'm really starting to worry about you." Sasha's eyes, full of worry, were wandering on me and she hold my hand like she was afraid that if she let go, I'd fade away. My gaze turned back to Sasha and I took my time to stare at her golden brown eyes, which were watching me straight back.

"I just.. I don't know. I remembered one thing and I guess that triggered something what affected to me or something, I don't know. I'm okay now, trust me. Just remembered one strange nightmare." I don't know how convincing I was but Sasha stared at me for a while until she nodded and finally let go of my hand.

"Be careful Jean. If you keep doing that kind of stuff, we really have to take you to the doctor. Just to make sure that you're really okay", Connie said next to my left ear and patted my shoulder. I sighed and then my eyes wandered to the direction where Marco and Reiner were.

Sasha and Connie, after hard convincing, went back to swim and the tense atmosphere started to ravel out. Bertholdt gave me something to eat before he went to watch the swimmers in the pond and Reiner came back with Marco. Marco sat down next to me, holding a napkin against his nose and he thanked Reiner for helping him. Reiner smiled and made sure we were really okay before he finally went to swim too.

Me and Marco sat silently on the grass and watched how the others were swimming and enjoying the cool water. I felt a little shitty because I knew I had scared them. I tried to eat the chicken salad but when I had eaten two or three spoonful of salad (I don't know why Bertholdt gave me a spoon but that doesn't really matter), my head turned toward Marco and I looked at him. The napkin in his hand was bloody but it looked like the blood wasn't running anymore.

"I'm sorry Marco. I didn't mean to elbow you, I just panicked." I sounded so pitiful and I'm sure I looked so pitiable too. Marco turned his gaze to me and smiled his typical angelic smile. "Don't worry, it's okay. It's nothing dangerous", Marco said with his gentle voice and lowered the napkin away from his nose. His nose was reddish and maybe a little bit swollen, but beside that it didn't look that bad. I still felt so much guilt that it felt like I was going to torn into halves.

"I'm still sorry. I started to see something delusional things because the lack of the oxygen that I didn't even understand what you were trying to do." I was ashamed and sad too. This was supposed to be really funny and enjoyable day, but I just ruined it all with all the crap what's going on right now. Marco stared at me silently for a while until he dropped the bloody napkin to the ground, wrapped his other hand (He had washed his hands before he had came to sit down with me) around my shoulders and pulled me toward him. Soon I found myself leaning against him and I watched him with a surprised expression on my face.

He caught my gaze and winced. "Agh, I'm sorry! Is this okay? I mean, if you feel uncomfortable, I won't touch you." He was going to take his hand away from my shoulder but I took his hand on my grip and keep it on my shoulder where it had been. "It's okay Marco. It's okay."

I don't care if we've known each other only for like, one week or a little more. I feel like I've known him since the day one and that's enough to let him be this close to me. He feels so familiar and I still don't know why, but it doesn't matter. I want him to stay in my life, stay with me and share nice moments like these.

"I'm glad you're okay. I got pretty scared when you didn't rise to the surface." I bit my lip and repeated Marco's words inside my head. I'm sorry Marco, I didn't mean anything like that. It's just because of all the shit I'm dealing right now. The horse. The nightmares. Even you. But don't worry, you're the positive one. The best one.

* * *

  
Everything calmed down and even though I had scared everyone completely, they recovered from it. Even I recovered from my stupid delusion. I'm sure now that Marco's nose is okay, he was able to go swim with me after we had enough of sitting and staring at how others were enjoying themselves. This time I didn't get any kind of panic attack or anything like that. We swam like happy little kids, enjoying it and we even raced couple of times.

The sun was setting when we finally decided to pack our stuff, change our clothes and leave. Before we left, we made sure that there wasn't any trashes on the ground. Must respect the nature, this place didn't deserve any kind of depravity.

Marco, the perfect and angelic Marco, took the other cool bag this time even though I tried to convince him that I'm okay and he doesn't need to carry it, I could do it. He didn't listen to me and stubbornly he carried it like a knight in a shining armor. Damn you freckled knight, I'm not princess or anything.

The forest looked more gloomy and dark when the sun wasn't shining and didn't shed light there. To be honest, the forest was now way scarier than what it had been when we we're going to the pond.

First thing I noticed was the lack of sounds. There wasn't any birds chirping anymore or the wind wasn't making the trees sough. There was dark shadows everywhere, between the trees and bushes, on the branches and even on the treetops. Only sounds I'd hear was others speaking and laughing. Me and Marco were the only ones who didn't say anything, like we were afraid to open our mouths and let out any kind of sound what'd disturb the nature's own peace.

We arrived to my backyard when the sky was already reddish, the sun almost gone and night taking the reins. Sasha and Connie left after Sasha made sure I was okay, and shortly after that, Reiner and Bertholdt left too. I'm glad all four of them took some of the leftovers with them, I wouldn't want to eat everything alone.

Marco helped me empty the cool bag and put some of the leftovers to the fridge. We decided to grab the last leftover sandwiches and eat them now, because they wouldn't stay fresh long. We sat silently and ate, both of us lost in our own thoughts. Sometimes I wondered what Marco was thinking about. Even though he smiled a lot today, he was clearly upset from time to time. Or at least he looked like something was bothering him.

We didn't talk much but after we finished our sandwiches, I decided to show him the whole house. He smiled and walked behind me, looking around while I was introducing it like a fucking salesman. He looked at the pictures what where hanging on the walls, sometimes he stared at some decoration items my mother had bought and spread around the house. I didn't really find them that amazing, but my mom loved them and it seemed that Marco was also liking them. If I'd chose, I'd get rid of every piece or at least most of them.

The next stop was my room. I let him enter first and when I stepped into the room, I saw how Marco was looking around curiously. My room wasn't in the best condition, some stuff was lying around and I had that chair what most of people seemed to have. You know, the chair what was full of clothes. I had one too, it was at the corner of my room.

"Sorry it's a little messy, I've been planning to clean it soon." I leaned against the door frame and stared Marco. He turned around, looked at me and smiled. "It's okay, I don't mind it." His voice was soft and gentle like it always was. He took last glances of my room before he locked his gaze on me. We stared each other minute or two, both of us completely quiet. It was like we were somehow communicating without voice, without loud words. Like we used voiceless words, which were invisible to others. But to us, they were visible and we were able to read them from our lips.

"I think I have to go soon", Marco said after we had been silent enough. I nodded and kept my gaze on him, even though my mind was screaming all kinds of reasons why I should try to persuade Marco to stay here a little longer. Or even the whole night. I wouldn't mind it, I need more of his company and I wasn't in the mood to face the horse alone tonight. It was probably even more horrible looking than what it was yesterday, its wounds and injuries dirty and maybe even more torn up.

"Did you have fun?" I asked and for a while I was little afraid to look at Marco's eyes. I turned my head and stared at the corner of room, scared because of the answer he was going to give me. What if he'd say that the day wasn't like he had wanted it to be? It was shitty because I elbowed him and his nose is still a little reddish and swollen? My friends were so pain in the ass that he doesn't want to see them or me ever again? I felt my heart pounding more than it had before.

Marco probably saw the fear I had, he moved smoothly closer to me and I winced when felt his hand on my shoulder. I bit my lip and turned my head again, now facing with Marco, who was standing in front of me and looking deep into my eyes. "Jean, I had more than fun. I've never had any day like this before. If I had a chance, I'd relive this day over and over again." His words was the key to let my beating heart slow down, stop the unnecessary fast speed of pounding. My lips curled up and I smiled shyly. I can't remember when was the last time I smiled this shyly. "I'm glad you enjoyed it." I said and let out a sigh of relief.

Then I couldn't hold it back anymore. The words took over my mouth and I let them out without any willpower to keep them in order. "You seemed to be upset about something today too. I know this might be a little rude, but can you tell me what's making you sad?"

I saw how Marco's eyes grew slightly wider and he looked like he was hesitating something in his mind. His eyes reflected it. "You noticed it?" He asked, sounding now more pathetic. I nodded and bit my lip again.

He moved his hand away from my shoulder and turned around, possibly thinking something. I got frustrated but I didn't show it, I was just going to die because of the curiosity. After a while he faced me again, the smile long lost from his face. He looked dead serious this time. "I'm sorry Jean, I can't tell it to you. Not yet." I was disappointed, but I just had to swallow back my curiosity and keep it together again.

"Okay. I'm sorry for asking it. But are you going to tell me some day? When you are ready?" I swear to God I'm so going to punch myself. I'm like a stupid and annoying brat, asking stupid questions from the adults. He looked a little tense for a moment, before his shoulders relaxed and he nodded. "Maybe. Maybe when I'm ready."

I was going to say something to him but I forgot everything the moment I felt how suddenly something wrapped around my torso and the faint, familiar smell became stronger. Marco hugged my tightly and pressed his face on my shoulder. I was very confused for a moment, until I felt how his shoulders started to vibrate and the fabric of the shirt on my shoulder felt wet. Was he crying?

"M-marco, what's wrong?" I stuttered and my arms wrapped around him automatically. It felt like the knight's role was dropped to me and I was the one who was playing it now. I didn't mind it though, if it was my duty to protect him from the world outside, I'd take it. I'd do it without hesitation.

Marco didn't let out any kind of voice while he cried. All I could hear was muffled sniffles. My hand stroked his back, I tried to comfort him like my mother used to do to me when I was kid and crying my eyes off.

He cried a lot. When he was done, he backed away and looked at me with his puffy, bloodshot eyes. The sight hurt my heart and all I wanted to do was wipe off all his worries and let him be happy forever. "I'm sorry", he apologized and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. "I'm just.. I'm just so damn happy. I've never had a friend like you. All my friends have disappeared from my life after a while."

Marco, you sweet little angel. How could anyone ditch you out of their lives? Well, that's their loss. I won't do it to you. I promise it. But that's not the reason why you were so upset today too, not the reason what made you cry out of the blue. I just have a feeling that that's not the all weight on your shoulders.

Without thinking it, I took a step toward him and cupped his face in my hands. He winced and looked at me like I was going to eat him any minute now. "Marco, I'm not going to go anywhere. I can't understand why your earlier friends have done something like that, but let me tell you this." I'm not sure is it okay to do this, is it too soon or not, but screw it. I'm not interested about it now.

"I'm not going anywhere."

He stared at me, doing nothing to get rid of my hands on his cheeks. He was like paralyzed from the power of my words. But then the smile crawled back onto his face and even though he had bloodshot eyes or a reddish nose, he still looked like an angel to me. Beautiful and precious person, there weren't that many people who were like Marco. All the kindness what he held was natural.

"Thank you Jean."

* * *

  
After Marco left, it felt like the whole house was hollow. It was just me, alone. I took a quick shower and then went to my room. I didn't open my laptop, I didn't do anything. I sat down on my bed and thought about the events of this day. How I had woken up outside, how the nightmares took over me at the pond, how Marco opened his heart a little bit to me. So much happened today and my brain just couldn't register all of it yet. It was trying to, at least.

My face hurt. I noticed it and then I realized why it hurt. I was smiling, it was the smile from ear to ear. The one I think I've never done before. My heart beat faster, but not so rapidly as it had done before. The warm feeling was overwhelming and for the first time in forever, I was able to say that I was happy. Really happy, that's even better. All thanks to Marco.

I heard clopping coming from the outside, and I didn't even think what I was doing when I ran downstairs, headed to the back door and opened it. The stallion's ears were pressed onto its neck for a moment until my scent reached it. The horse recognized me and soon its ears were again straight forward and it was looking at me very curiously.

"Hey buddy. You look a lot better today." I cooed and moved closer to the animal. I was surprised how its wounds looked a lot better. They didn't look infected or more torn up like I had assumed. It was like the wounds were already healing fast. Or the black coat just confused and played tricks on me. Whatever the truth was, I didn't care about it at the moment.

I have no idea where all of this courage came from, but I offered my hand to the horse, in attempt to let it sniff it. I was just so happy that I wasn't even sure if I really controlled myself or not. The horse looked like it was doubting first.

"Oh c'mon, I tried to treat your wounds last night. It's me, you remember? The dickhead you like to keep awake."

Just for some reason, I was sure the horse was going to show me its teeth and maybe even bite me, it looked so doubtful. But the stallion was brave enough to come closer and finally sniff my hand like a dog. The smile came back to my face and I let the stallion take its time and explore me after it was sure I wasn't threat to it.

I was surprised when the horse nuzzled against my hand. This horse's muzzle was soft as silk and when I carefully stroked it couple of times, I felt how the peace was settling inside of me. Somehow tonight, this horse had the power to calm me and make me feel happy, too. I wasn't usually that eager to meet it or even see it, because it keeps me awake almost every night. But now, I felt like I was actually making a connection with the horse.

"You're so gorgeous and beautiful. I still can't believe someone has simply left you at the mercy of the nature." I cooed even more and then I moved my other hand very carefully toward the horse. I stared the whole time its ears and its body language, but the stallion didn't sent any kind of message what'd tell me that it didn't like my plans. So, with that making me brave again, I started to stroke it under its curly black mane.

The horse, at some point, moved its muzzle away from my hand and lifted its head. My body went all stiff, I wasn't sure what it was going to do, but then I felt how it nuzzled against the crook of my neck. It tickled a little bit and I let out soft chuckle. The horse looked like it was examining me and I felt how it started to nibble my neck. It didn't hurt because the stallion didn't use enough power to actually bite me the way it would hurt like hell.

"You've come here all nights because you need a company? Someone who takes care of you and pets you? Sorry buddy but I can't keep you." To be honest, even though I was now petting the horse like it was the best damn thing in the whole world, the thought about keeping it sent a shiver down my spine. I didn't want a friggin' horse. Horses hate me usually, okay? This one seemed to be some kind of exception.

I stroked it until something slimy got tangled to my hand. I winced and pulled back my hand, examining the slimy green thing what was around my arm. Ew. It was a seaweed, I recognized it now. I just wonder why the heck this horse had some seaweeds hanging on its mane?

My thoughts were interrupted when I suddenly felt pain in my neck. "Agh!" I whimper and backed away from the horse, my other hand now fast on my neck. On the spot what the horse had nibbled.

"Did you just bite me?!"

The horse huffed and flicked its black tail. It twiddle its ears a couple of times and then it turned around. I was sure at first that it was going to kick me, but then it started to trot toward the forest. I was waiting it to disappear into the darkness but then it stopped and looked at me like it was mocking me or something. I could feel its gaze and even though it was far away from me, I knew it was pretty cold one at the moment.

The horse raised its head towards the sky and let out a neigh. Or at least I was waiting a neigh, but the second it let out the sound, what sounded more like a spine-chilling shriek, I was sure my heart jumped to my throat. The stallion flicked its tail again, its ears now disappeared into its neck and it started to gallop to the forest. Before it disappeared completely, it bucked and let out another blood-curdling shriek.

I didn't count how long I stood there and watched the forest, my hand still on my neck and the curses on my lips. My good mood slowly, oh so slowly, started to fade away and I didn't realize at first that I was shaking.

I slammed the door close behind me and hurried to the bathroom. I took a deep breath before I finally looked at myself in the mirror. The pain was still burning on my neck and the color from my face escaped a little when I moved my hand away from the spot. There was blood drops on my fingers and the spot, where that horse had bitten me, was bloody too. There was a small bloody trail, coming from the wound what was leaking blood a little bit. The red liquid was flowing slowly down from the crook of my neck, disappearing under my shirt collar. I didn't know horses were able to do that kind of damage. The wound just looked like it was made by very sharp teeth. It was absurd because I knew that horses don't have those kind of teeth, so how did this one make it?

* * *

  
_I forced my eyes open, panic growing inside my chest. I was standing alone somewhere, I couldn't see where because everything was dark. Darkness was surrounding me, the only circled spot what had some kind of light was the spot where I was standing. And I was standing in the middle of it. I kept myself calm as much as I could, if I let my panic take control now, it wouldn't end up well. At least that was the feeling I had and what my senses told me._

_"Jean." Someone called my name, the voice unidentified and somehow also unnatural. I wasn't even sure was it a voice that belong to female or to male. It sounded like it was some kind of mixture, but still unnatural. I felt gaze on me, something or someone staring at me in the shadows. My body went stiff when I heard a high-pitched neigh, coming from somewhere really far._

_"What do you want?" I asked and shifted my weight from one foot to another, trying to look as brave as possible. I don't know how successful it was, I was so scared inside, even though I tried to keep the illusion that I wasn't. I heard footsteps moving around. It was making me more nervous than I had been before._

_There was no answer to my question. The footsteps stopped and it was all silent for a moment. A little moment. Then I heard clopping, it sounded more like a galloping horse. At first the sound was faint, like the animal was moving really far away, but then it began to come closer and louder. Every clop was like a cold punch to my skin, the goosebumps already starting to form. I closed my eyes and then opened them again, like I was afraid to keep them closed too long._

_"I asked a question and I would like to have an answer for it." I said and cleared my throat. The clopping stopped immediately and the silence fell rapidly. I turned my head from side to other and checked my surroundings, not seeing anything anywhere. There was nothing on the lighted area where I stood, which meant that the one what's here was still in the shadows, maybe part of the darkness itself. I straightened my back, hoping it'd make me look a lot more confident than what I really felt like._

_"What do you want? Who are you?"_

_The silence wasn't a promising sign. Suddenly something in the dark caught my eyes and I kept staring there. Two glowing red eyes, staring at me from the shadows. Whatever was hiding there wasn't really eager to show itself. I was getting impatient, I wanted answers._

_"Why won't you answer me?" There was no answer again. The red eyes stared at me and at first I avoided to lock my gaze on them. My gaze fell on the ground and I bit my lip, trying to hold my fears. I took deep, slow breaths and when everything felt less scary at the moment, I stubbornly lifted my gaze and stared straight into the eyes, ignoring the fact that they were pretty far from me. "Show yourself." I commanded, my voice a lot more confident now._

_I was waiting that the owner of the eyes would took their first step toward, but that never happened. Another pair of red eyes appeared. Two creatures or persons, I wasn't sure because I didn't have any kind of chance to see them. Both of them were hiding in the dark but I assumed that at least one of them was human or human-like since it talked like a person. Well, almost like._

_Then the third pair of eyes appeared, however the new pair was a lot more different. The new pair wasn't red like two others were, these ones were white as bones. I tensed, little amount of fear escaped and tried to take control over my body but I still didn't give it a chance. No, try to hold yourself together. Don't lose it._

_The clopping came back and the white eyes started to come closer. I felt how my body started to shiver, no matter how hard I tried to not let it happen. Just in the line between the lighted area and the darkness, clopping stopped and the eyes stared at me. It was like the owner of the eyes was hesitating, having second thoughts and maybe trying to back away. I wasn't sure but whatever was going to happen, I was ready. At least I pretended and maybe tried to fool myself that I was ready._

_"Don't you dare to fucking hesitate now. Show yourself."_

_My words echoed around and I noticed that I was biting my lip again, harder this time. I didn't like to wait and I sure as hell didn't enjoy this moment. The owner of white eyes probably hesitated for a moment, until the sharp gaze was on me again and finally someone, or something came to the lighted ring where I was. I tasted the iron rich blood what was coming from my lip, I bit hard enough to make it bleed. My body went stiff and soon I was holding my breath, trying to keep the color in my face while the clopping was back and echoing in the area._

_Black horse was walking toward me, eyes glowing white and I felt how it kept staring at me. I was horrified, the horse's appearance making me want to throw up all what I had inside of me, even my internals. The horse was missing skin from its muzzle, showing its knife sharp teeth row and only a tiny sliver of skin hanging on its chin groove. It looked like something had tore off its skin, leaving only the small sliver. Its teeth were unnaturally sharp, definitely not natural horse's teeth. They looked more like wildcat's teeth._

_The horse had actually a lot of missing skin slivers. Its shoulder bone was visible, the skin looking like it was also ripped off. Some of the missing skin was replaced by sight of the bare flesh and muscles what usually were hidden under the skin. A couple of ribs were also visible, white bone highlighting against the black fur. The stallion was still mostly black, even though it was missing some of its skin._

_I wrinkled my nose, trying to concentrate my thoughts and ignore the fact that besides the beautiful black coat the horse had, I was able to see sights of the red flesh, muscles and white bones it had under its skin. I wonder why it looked like something has ripped off that horse's skin or what was actually happening._

_The stallion kept walking around me like a predator prowling its prey. I opened my mouth and tried to say something, but no words came from my mouth. I was scared and the panic was making its way to take a control of me._

_I yelped when the horse suddenly galloped toward me, clutching its sharp teeth to the collar of my shirt and dragging me away from the lighted area. I lost my balance and I let out pathetic cry, I was at the mercy of this predator. My body felt paralyzed, everything turning into dark and I couldn't see anything. When the grip of the teeth disappeared, I crash on my back and lay on the ground, my body feeling twice as heavy._

_The red eyes had disappeared and the galloping too. I was alone, lying on the ground and paralyzed because of the fear. There wasn't any glimmer of the light._

_I felt weight on my body, like something was lying on top of me. I realized quickly that it was actually a human figure what was sitting on my stomach, bending over me. I felt the hot breath on my face and before I had made any kind of attempt to try to push this person away, a pair of hands took a tight grip of my arms and made them stay still. Then I felt it._

_A hellish pain shot all over my body when I felt something sinking through the skin on the crook of my neck and then tearing it slowly off. I felt how the blood already flowed._

_Stop it, please! Someone, help me!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are, once again. Phew, that's some heavy stuff going on.  
> I'm trying to not make this brutal but in the future, there will be same kind of stuff. I'll always warn you at the beginning so you can make yourself ready to the upcoming shitstorm.
> 
> Pffft this chapter was supposed to be a lot more happier but look what have I done now. Not so happy I guess ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ Those dreams are pain in the ass, isn't that right Jean?  
> Next time we're going to make a little time jump, maybe see a couple of new characters and the relationship between Jean and Marco is going to grow more. At least these are my main goals to the next chapter. It's still work in progress and I'll start to write it as soon as I get my other fic's chapter ready. 
> 
> As usual, comments are very welcomed. I like to hear what you thought about it. If you find crazy shit, you can point them out.  
> Oh well, that's it I guess. We're going to see in the next chapter! ~ （っ＾▿＾）


	5. Guardian Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting scarier...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I'm back with a new chapter ≧◡≦  
> This is kinda scary and distressing chapter, things are turning more scarier than what they've been before.  
> \---
> 
> And if you cry, i'll hold your head up high  
> I'll be there by your side  
> I will be your guardian angel
> 
> I will do the things that I can to light your life and see you smile  
> It brakes my heart in two
> 
> Lovex - Guardian angel

I'm sure that the moment I open my eyes, the whole world would stop for a while. Nothing rational comes to my mind, I'm just at the mercy of human instincts. And those instincts are trying to kick me out of my bed, trying to scream loudly that I must run, I must flee before the predator is going to hurt me more. I felt the pain on my neck, spreading through my body like an electric wave. My mind is shouting, trying to convince me that I'm in danger and I _have to_ escape.

Even though I'm still in the half-conscious state, my body is awake enough to do what it must do. I jumped out of my bed and literally just ran without thinking. I ran until there was a obstacle on my way. My face hurt when I just crashed against the wall of my room, finally waking completely and realizing that I was back in the reality. The dream had already gone but the pictures were fresh in my mind.

The panic inside my chest was making me more sensitive, more focusing on my surroundings and ready to act in case something happened. I checked that my nose wasn't bleeding and then I moved to the bathroom. The fear made me uncertain, I didn't trust the lightless house even though I knew that all of the doors were locked, and there was no way that something bad is lurking at the dark corners. I tried to remind myself that it was the nightmare what kept me on alert.

I clicked the lights on to the bathroom and the white light blurred my vision for a moment. My eyes took a couple of minutes time to adjust to the sudden light and when everything became clear, the first thing I did was to wash my face with cold water. The water helped a little, it was helping me to organize my thoughts back to where they were supposed to be. My gaze was on the sink for a while until I finally decided to took a glance of myself at the mirror.

My hand touched my cheek and I just stared at the sight in front of me. I was so pale that I looked more like a chalk. The top of my hair was wet because of the cold sweat that was running on my forehead. My eyes made me take a step back. The gaze was lifeless, completely dead and I didn't find any kind of life in my eyes. It was like I was watching a face of the dead body. And this time, the dead body was looking like me.

I couldn't help but touch my cheeks with both of my hands. I examined more of them, touching different spots on my face. Forehead, cheeks, jaw. I was trying to check was I really seeing right, did I really look like that at the moment. Did I really look like I was dead? The panic was growing rapidly and I didn't even notice how I was whining. I was sure I wasn't alive. I can't be, I don't look like I am!

_Am I dead?_

After what felt like an eternity, the life was coming back to my eyes and the pale skin was turning back to normal. My gaze fell on my neck now, the bandage I had wrapped around it had a red spot on it now. The wound had probably opened during my restless sleep and the scene after that. I untie it and let the white and red bandage fall to the sink. My eyes stared the sight of the bloody mark on my neck, it was a little angry-looking and the bleeding made it look a lot more worse than what it is. The sharp pain went through my body when I touched the wound. Bad idea.

I was lacking the sense of time, I have no idea how long I kept staring at myself on the mirror. I wasn't convinced, I wasn't sure if I could believe anything at the moment. Am I really awake, is this reality or some kind of nightmare? What is going on, what the hell was that creature in my dream? It wasn't a horse, hell no, it was a predator. Something was trying to rip my skin off.

I had to take support from the sink and my gaze fell again. I was staring at the bandage and my mind was still wandering at the memories of the nightmares. Especially this new one. The more I thought about it, the more my stomach was cletching up with knots and the knots felt like they were tightening. I was trying to change the subject, I don't want to think about it anymore. I wasn't able though, my mind was shattered into pieces and every time I tried to collect them and make them whole again, something came up and then they were shattered again. I was trying to suppress the gagging reflex when the newest thought came into my mind. The way I was treated in the nightmare like a piece of meat. The way something was biting my skin, trying to rip it off. The scene was clear.

_It was trying to eat me._

I pressed my hand against my mouth, I wasn't going let gagging reflex win this battle. The thought about that made the nightmare at least a little bit more understandable. But even if I understood nightmare's theme, the biggest question was still open and unanswered. What was the purpose of these dreams? I can't understand. Why I am seeing these dreams, why? I haven't watched movies or tv-shows with these kind of themes.

In fact, before this chain of nightmares started to obsess me, the last time I saw a lot of nightmares in a row was the time when I was little kid. It's not actually nothing new to me, to see a lot of nightmares during some kind of time period but it's been so long since the last time. Something has probably set me off to this nightmare period again. The memories of my childhood, when the nightmares were my biggest problem, are very dusky. I can't remember much about that time, I can't even remember what started up the nightmares back then. Why can't I remember?

My mind was pounding, pounding like a drum or something. I was trying to get back into my childhood, into my memories from that time but everything was dark. I wasn't able to remember, I couldn't. I felt like it was going to drive me into madness. Of course I've seen sometimes a nightmare or two, like a normal person, but I can tell that this is something different. This must be the thing I used to call 'the nightmare period'. It was hard time. I can't remember almost anything about it, the few little memories I have from that time are the memories of how tired my mother was. Or how scared I was, I was tired as well and panicked about something. Something what was the reason I got this nightmare hell. Whatever it was, it hit me hard and probably the younger me had tried to protect the future me by forgetting that time period and the possible reason for this.

It's not helping right now.

After finally managing to calm down and leaving the bathroom alone, I didn't head back to my room. I walked to downstairs and made sure the front door was locked. Then I went to the back door, and even to my surprise, I opened it and walked outside.

It was dark, the tiny glimmer of moonlight wasn't enough to light the whole area. I had no idea what I was doing but I didn't stop, I walked more. The wet and cold grass under my feet made me wrinkle my nose, it wasn't very pleasant feeling. It was very chilly outside, I could feel how goosebumps were forming on my bare hands.

I stopped when I was standing in the middle of our backyard. I straightened my back and my eyes were staring at the forest. It was dark and threatening, the way you couldn't see anything else but darkness. The moonlight just barely touched the edge of the forest. I was biting my lip hard, it hurt because I had already bitten my lip into very bad shape but I still continued doing it again. Even though I had been so scared a moment before, now I felt like all the courage I had was building up to this new moment. I took a deep breath, the fresh night air feeling very nice in my lungs. It felt like the air was cleaning everything inside me for a change.

"What do you want from me?" I shouted. I agree, it was stupid idea but I had already fallen deep into some kind of madness. I was not controlling my body, it was controlling itself without my permission. I spread my arms wide open, like I was waiting something to come and attack me. I had no idea what time is it or how late or early it was, but if I didn't let out this stream, it was going to devour me before I had another chance to try to get rid of it.

"I'm here! If you want me, just come and get me. I'm waiting!" As I guessed, there was no answer to my call. The forest remained silent. I knew I was acting like a mad man but to be honest, I felt like one. I felt like I was going to lose up my mind, like I was going to lose my sanity and get it replaced with insanity. The nightmares were already eating it, they were destroying me little by little and it was only a matter of time until the psychosis was taking the reins.

"I am ready!"

I closed my eyes and stood still, my hands spreaded and I waited. I'm not even sure what I was waiting or what I wanted to happen. I just wanted to end this madness and move on with my life, to the next period. I wanted to close this nightmare period like a page from a book and start new chapter at the book of my life.

Nothing came from the forest. I thought something would come, or that at least I could see something there, but when I opened my eyes, I was greeted with the same sight as before. Nothing new, just the backyard and the dark forest. I murmured something nonsense to myself and looked around. The neighbor houses were out of lights, I'm actually impressed that I didn't manage to wake up my neighbors. I bet I already have some kind of mad person's reputation among them. I can only imagine what the neighbor mothers were whispering to each other or rumoring about me or the state of my mental health.

I snorted to my own stupidity and turned around, walking back to my house. Well, I guess the neighbors have pretty good evidences for their rumors. I was acting like I was out of my mind. I wouldn't be surprised if I was. I mean, it's not normal to go outside and just shout stupid and strange things to the forest, right? I feel so stupid right now.

When I was opening the back door, something sent a shiver down my spine and my heart almost jumped to my throat.

_"Jean"_

A single, eerie voice whispered my name. The little wind blew and I'm sure the whisper just flew with the wind. I stopped immediately and just stood at the front of the door, my gaze on the wooden door. I knew the color from my face was already escaping. I tried to calm down, tried to cling to the courage I had just a minute or two ago. My gaze moved to the window on the door and I could see the mirror image on it. It was mirroring the edge of the forest, though it wasn't very good because the forest was far away. My heart skipped a beat when I saw a blurry figure through this window's mirror image. It was very blurry and black, but I swear I saw a human shape in the shadows.

I turned my head slowly and looked over my shoulder at the forest behind, far away. There wasn't any human figure but my eyes grew wider after examining the sight a little, I managed to see something what was tearing my fear free from its cage.

It was hiding in the shadows, only half of its body visible. But I still managed to see its front, the glimmer of moonlight lighting it little bit. Even though it was standing really far away from me, I'm sure my gaze met with its gaze. Its ice cold gaze was getting right through my body. And to be honest, I have never been as scared at the sight of a single horse as I am right now.

I stared at it, I don't know how long, but when I finally managed to drag myself back inside, I thought I was safe. I locked the back door and made sure at least three times that it was locked properly. Then I just leaned against the door and took deep breath, and another one. My breathing was shaking. I'm inside my house, nothing to worry about.

_I'm safe._

Suddenly I heard a horrendous and hair-raising shriek. It startled me and my body started to shiver like a leaf on a windy day, I had to lean more against the door if I didn't want to lose my balance. I was so horrified, I have never been this scared before. I felt like a child, I felt like I wanted to scream for someone. Scream help from my mom or from my dad. Or even from my friends. Just someone who could hear me, someone who could save me from this situation. I gritted my teeth, my gaze falling to the floor and then out of the blue, I noticed something warm running down my cheeks. I raised my hand and touched my cheek, feeling something wet on my fingers. I know I'm scared but this is just weird.

_Why I am crying?_

* * *

"Hello? Jean?"

I winced when something was swinging in front of me. Snapping back into reality, I recalled where I was at the moment, or more importantly, with who. Marco was sitting on the opposite bench and leaning his elbows against the wooden table that was standing between us. We were at the ice cream bar, because after hearing that he hasn't been here before, I made it to my business to take him here. Wait, what was I doing just a while ago? Was I actually napping or something?

"Have you got enough sleep? Lately you've been awfully tired", Marco asked and tilted his head, looking so concerned about me. And his guess wasn't even wrong, it was actually the truth. Since a week ago when the damn horse decided to bit me and I saw that horrible nightmare, I've been kinda trying to avoid sleeping as much as possible. It's stupid, I know but what else I can do? I don't want to see those nightmares anymore, they're driving me nuts.

It's been hard week, while trying to not sleep at the nights, I've been also trying to avoid my other friends as much as I could. Sasha's threat was still fresh in my mind and I know that if she hears about my new behavior, she's going to drag me to the doctor's appointment. It wasn't very tempting, so I just thought it was good idea to keep some distance. It's been hard, but somehow I've managed to convince them on Facebook that everything is okay. Well, to be honest, nothing is okay.

The lack of sleep is very visible, I didn't even think how visible it can be until now. I've been avoiding sleeping at the night time mostly, and because of that, I've found myself napping randomly during the day. Sometimes I just fell into some kind of strange coma-like state until something snaps me back into reality. I should have listened to Marco's warning, because now I really do look like a fucking panda bear. Or more like a zombie, my gaze looks just so tired that I've accidentally scared a couple of old people while walking on the public.

The only person I've allowed to come closer is Marco, obviously. The reason for that decision is because even though Marco can be so worried about me or my strange behavior, he isn't really taking reins into his hands and dragging me to see the doctor or something. I hate it when I'm making him worried about me and my shit, but this isn't just something I can show to my other friends. Maybe I should, maybe I should even get help. See the doctor or some other shit but I don't have the power to do it right now. I'm so damn tired, all I want is that the nightmare's would go away and leave me alone.

"Sorry Marco, didn't mean to take a nap here." I apologized and straightened my back. Marco was staring at me, the worried expression almost shining from his face. I felt guilty, I really don't want to make him worry about me but, to my horror, I'm too good at it. I'm so good at making people worried. He sighed, I knew he was tired of my shit but somehow he managed to tolerate it. I know if the roles were switched over and I was the one who was trying to deal with other people's problems, I'd just dump them and focus on my own life. But Marco, that damn freckled angel, was too kind to leave me alone to struggle with my problems.

"I'm really worried about you, I hope you know that. You're so pale and tired all the time. This is not healthy anymore, Jean please. Are you listening me?" To be honest, I didn't even listen half of Marco's lecture. I knew so well that there was a problem and I should get help, but what can I do for myself when I'm too stubborn? He tried his best to make me realize what I should do, but no! I'm acting like a stupid kid.

"I know Marco. I know." My word's didn't convince him, I could see the doubt in his eyes. He knew I wasn't going to do anything to this problem, and he also knew that he couldn't force me to do anything. Silently he accepted it, though he tried every now and then turn my head and make me change my decision. I'm grateful of all the things he's trying, all the tricks he's pulling but they're not working. My mind has already decided that the best option is to handle this situation like I'm doing right now, by staying up all nights.

I yawned and rubbed my eyes. Damn, I miss sleeping really badly, already. I've never been this exhausted before. I yawned again and didn't notice that Marco had moved his gaze away from me and he was staring something else at the moment. When I shook my head a little bit and got more aware of the surroundings, I finally noticed how Marco's shoulders stiffed and his gaze was full of confusion. I turned my head toward the direction he was staring and tried to find the source of his sudden strange behavior.

After scanning the area for a while, I noticed a couple of faces which were too familiar. And they were also looking at our direction. Shit, no. No no no. Before I even had a time to do anything, the other person was already heading toward our table. I let out tired groan and sighed. Marco turned his gaze back to me and he had wondering look on his face. Maybe he noticed how those two had stared at our table and because he didn't know who they were or did I even know them, he just decided to search answer from my face.

"Hey Jean, haven't seen you since the beginning of the holiday. How are you?" I could hear his voice before I even saw his face again. Short blonde guy stopped next to us and he was wearing his usual, shy and kind smile on his face. His big and blue eyes were on me, I didn't look at him at first but I could feel his stare. Then his gaze moved onto Marco, I knew it because Marco winced slightly under his gaze. He didn't mean anything bad, but I think Marco wasn't so used to new people surprising us and coming without a warning. In fact, almost every time when Marco met someone new, he looked at first like he was a cornered animal. It was somehow weird, didn't really fit with his personality. He got so easily along with others, so why was he actually so... I don't know, scared when he met new people? Or more like people who I know?

"How I am? Like always, dealing with my problems. You've been also busy, right? Found any good books?" I answered and straightened my back. Armin turned his head and he was looking at me again. The tiny smile on his face grew and he nodded. "Yup. I've been on the library most of my time. The summer job, you know. It's the perfect place for me, I'm actually sad that the next weeks is going to be my last one there." The way Armin described and spoke was already signaling how happy he was and how he really enjoyed that job. I'm glad that at least he has found something to enjoy about. No spooky horses scaring the shit out of him. Me and Armin, we're not exactly best friends but I guess we're sorta good friends. We've been on the same courses and done many pair works together. I'm grateful about that, when I haven't understood something, Armin's always been there to help me. So I guess we're good friends but not best friends. We don't spent our free time together.

"Do you mind if we sit with you guys?"

Armin's voice woke me up again from my thoughts and I nodded without thinking. I knew Armin wasn't alone here and I was totally aware who was the person with him. I had seen him while the blond had been ordering his own portion.

"Yeah, it's okay. We don't own this place or anything." The words escaped from my mouth but then I realized that yes, Marco was still here and yes, he still looked like a cornered animal. He had no idea who was this intruder and I bet he was feeling himself a little awkward, being here and only listening our conversation silently.

"Oh yes. Marco, this is Armin. He's a friend from school. Armin, this is Marco. He's a new friend.. a best friend of mine", I introduced them to each other and I really hope Marco doesn't mind if I call him my best friend. Because that's what I'm feeling right now, he's the one I've allowed to stay close to me while I've been trying to keep distance to my other friends. There's something more and deep going on between us, I've noticed it and I don't really mind it. Marco is a really good friend. I don't care if people say that we can't be best friends yet because we haven't know each other more than weeks, three weeks if I remember correctly. The reason for this decision is the strange familiar feeling. I don't know what it is, or what it even means. But I've already decided that I'll trust it. I'll trust that the familiar and warm feeling is directing me toward the right path. There's something what's convincing me.

"A friend from school? Well I guess I didn't expected anything else" Armin chuckled and then he turned back to Marco's direction. "Nice to meet you Marco. I'm Armin", he greeted Marco. He was smiling his kind and friendly smile, I guess he noticed too how stiff Marco looked for a moment. Then he relaxed, nodded and smiled shyly. Armin sat next to him and they both changed another bunch of stares before Armin started to eat his ice cream and Marco turned his gaze back to me. I knew Armin was sometimes peeking secretly my face from under his blond bangs. He wasn't stupid, he knew something was wrong but he was too polite to bring it up now. If we were with only two of us, he might have said something. Now he accepted to just peek sometimes, when he thought I didn't see his gaze. Or maybe he knew that I had already noticed what he was doing, but he stayed silent about that.

He didn't have to say anything. His company had a bigger mouth and was rude enough to say things loudly.

Without any warnings, another guy came to our table and just slumped next to me and greeted us. When I turned my head toward him, my eyes were greeted by another pair of eyes, which were teal-green and so full of different feelings that if someone compared us, I was the one that looked like a dead corpse with my almost unemotional eyes.

"Holy shit Jean, what has happened to you? You look like shit." Eren said, his voice's getting one octave higher. I heard Armin murmuring at Eren to be quiet across the table but my gaze was focused on the brown haired guy's face. Eren Jaeger, the rival from my childhood. Yes, we used to fight a lot over stupid things, but somehow we still managed to be friends. No matter how hard fist fights we had, after punching each other enough, we were like nothing happened. Sometimes our parents tried to get us away from each other, told us to search better friends but we still stayed together. We fought a lot, usually both of us ending up bloody mess. I'm not saying we're like best friends. No, but we're some kind of friends though. We're sometimes each other's enemies but then sometimes we're not. It's very complicated relationship.

"Thank you Eren, did you think that I haven't noticed it?" I asked and Eren tch'ed. I knew the moment he finally noticed Marco, I think he had noticed him before but after sitting next to me, he had kinda forgot that someone new was sitting with me here. "Oh yeah, me and Armin saw you here when we came. We thought you were on the date but I don't think that's how things are, since you were sleeping like a little baby." The smirk on his face was enough to provoke me and I just playfully elbowed his side.

Eren had no time to even take a spoonful of his ice cream portion, we were already having our stupid and immature play fight while Armin tried to calm us down and make us stop. He knew there was no stop for us, we haven't seen each other since the school ended and we just have to let out all the frustration we had. I was his personal punch bag and Eren was mine. Armin soon gave up and focused on talking with Marco. I'm not sure if Marco really wanted talk with him, I didn't even try to listen their conversation. I was so focused to playfully punch Eren. I was tired as hell, but still after we had punched and elbowed each other enough, I found myself laughing with him. Oh boy, I didn't even know how much I needed that. It was like I was finally able to let out some negative things and energy what had packed up inside me.

I was still laughing when Eren suddenly stopped. He stared at Marco and Armin, before he finally took a spoonful of ice cream and started to eat his portion. I was a little surprised, it was like something made Eren feel uncomfortable. I turned my gaze to Armin and then to Marco. When my gaze turned to Marco's direction, I noticed something strange. I don't even know how to describe it. He was staring at Eren, unamused expression on his face for a moment. And for a moment, his eyes were pretty cold. It lasted only a second, I'm not sure was it even a full second. Then he tilted his head and smiled like he usually did. His eyes were full of warmth and kindness again.

I felt how my skin was turning into goosebumps. Whatever that moment was, it was really awkward. Not only to Eren, I could feel how everyone around this table was greeted with awkwardness.

"So, what you've been up to? Since Armin hasn't been able to babysit you." I tried to change the atmosphere and I'm glad I managed to do that. Eren was back into his usual self and he was pointing me with his spoon, what was full of chocolate ice cream. "Watch your words", he warned and then turned his eyes back to the ice cream. "Nothing special. I've been just hanging around the beach and some other stuff."

I examined Eren for a moment, until I noticed a tiny bruise on his hand. He was wearing a t-shirt and it was sure thing that he didn't even try to cover it. I guess it was some kind of battle wound then, he always treated his wounds and injuries like he was a veteran or something.

"Don't tell me you were annoying Annie again."

I smirked when Eren's head turned quickly and his eyes told everything, he didn't really have to say anything.

"You did annoy her again!"

"No I didn't! I was just asking if she could teach me a couple of things and then she just snapped!"

"I don't believe you, Annie isn't like that. You know it too."

"He's right Eren, you know you annoyed her. No matter how much you try to beg her teach you some self-defense movements, you're just ending up making her angry."

"Oh shut up Armin, I didn't beg..."

"This is so fucking hilarious!"

I was cackling really ugly laugh while Eren looked like he was turning into a tomato, trying to kill his ice cream with his angry eyes. That was enough to convince me that all what Armin said was true. Eren wanted to be a cop and he already tried to get some brownie points before he even was going to apply to the police school. He wanted to learn self-defense and there wasn't any better teacher than Annie Leonhart, whose teacher was her own father. Her father is a detective and I guess he wanted to make sure that if Annie ever was getting into the trouble, maybe with the one who is responsible for the disappearence cases, she would be able to defense herself before the same fate happened to her.

"If you really want her to give you some tips, maybe even teach you, you have to create some kind of plan. I don't know her that well but even an idiot would notice that she doesn't like begging. No one likes begging, for god's sake! Eren you can't be that stupid." I couldn't help but shook my head with a loud sigh. Someone, help this dull boy.

"You shouldn't talk like that when you have something you're hiding!" Eren almost shouted and then grinned. I felt how my whole body went stiff, what was he talking about? Did he know why I was trying to avoid sleeping? Or did he know something about that horse? Before I could panic and try to guess what he might know, Eren pointed his finger toward my neck. Wait, what? His grin grew wider when I covered the mark with my hand.

"What is THAT? Is that a reason why you've been so silent since the beginning of the summer? You're having summer romance or something?"

It was my turn to let out sharp 'tch' and I moved my gaze away from Eren. It didn't help though, both Marco and Armin were staring at me too, their eyes trying to get through my hand and stare at the little wound on my neck. I couldn't face them, so I let my gaze fall onto the table. Eren was now cackling next to me. "What is it? Tell me, I'm curious."

"None of your business", I murmured but Eren wasn't done yet. He was going to tease me like I had teased him just a minute or two ago. This was the revenge.

"It looked like a bite mark, done by someone very special! Who's the secret babe? I really want to know how your summer romance is going on."

I guess that was already hitting the limit. Armin tried to hush Eren now, he was going too far. Sometimes Eren didn't notice it until someone finally snapped to him. I didn't want to, but I wasn't going to be able to hold myself a lot more if he continued that way.

"Oh c'mon Eren, I think that's enough."

"No no Armin, did you see it? It really looked like a bite mark. Jean's hiding something!"

"Well if he is, we don't have any rights to stick our noses into that kind of personal life."

"Aww but I really want to know! Was it you?"

I think that hit my limit. Eren was staring at Marco now and he had just asked if Marco was the one who had done it. I didn't get angry because of Eren's childish teasing, but the one what set the gunpowder on fire was the way he was now trying to tease Marco. And Marco looked simply horrified and surprised. He was staring at him like Eren had another head. The whole situation fired my sudden anger and I wasn't able to hold myself. Armin saw it, he knew what was coming and he tried his last attempt to make the situation take another path. Another way how things were going to happen.

"Eren really, leave that subject already. We don't need to know."

"But I really want to know. Are you guys like a thing or something? That's one badass bite mark if you ask me, teach me how to make those."

That's it. I know Eren was joking, but the way it was affecting to Marco was too much. I knew Marco was feeling a hell embarrassed by now. I couldn't watch his expression. I stood up, wanting to hit my fit against the table but I'm glad I got the reins before I did it. I slided my hand back to my side and I grimaced.

"It was a horse. A fucking horse, alright?! Just some stupid horse, tried to be nice to it and the little shithead bit me."

I felt how some other gazes turned toward me. I felt them on my back. Eren and Armin had both stopped eating and they were just staring at me as well. They looked so confused, like they couldn't understand what I had just said. My eyes moved onto Marco and I felt my heart aching. He was again looking so worried that the guilt captured my whole body. I sighed and headed toward the doors, getting out of the building. I couldn't stay there, I needed to get out before I was going to yell other things. It wasn't Eren's fault, I am the problematic one here.

* * *

I found myself sitting at the park and thinking. I got angry about stupid things, and I know the reason already. I am too tired, tiredness is making me frustrated and I get angry a lot easier than usually. What even was that earlier scene?

A fucking disaster if you ask me.

I'm getting too worked up about the horse thing, I'm making a fucking mountain out of a molehill. Why I am still scared to talk about it? This is stupid and childish. It's not my fault if that horse comes to my backyard. I've never asked for it, I've never wanted it either. The nightmares? Maybe they're making me fuss over this thing like it's something really horrible. I'm not somehow ashamed of it, am I? To be honest, I have no idea.

The park was unusually quiet, there wasn't any children playing or dog owners walking with their dogs. Just me and my pathetic grieving. My anger had turned into sadness after I had calmed enough. Not so nice, I felt so lost and lonely. And it definitely didn't help at all that I was sitting alone at the park. On the other hand, I was happy that there wasn't any curious pair of eyes watching me, I didn't want to wake any attention. I just wanted to be alone and clear my head, that's all.

I stared at the green grass and let my thoughts storm like a tumultuous sea. I'm tired and that's making me go into ragemood without a good reason, right? I really hope so. Or maybe I have already lost my sanity. Was there any proof that I was sane anymore? All the things what's been happening, it feels like a big web of lies or something, knitted together with a large amount of nightmares and the horse's visits. Those are the big two problem makers in my life right now, aren't they? Focus Jean.

No, I can't say the nightmares and the horse are the only ones what's making me like this. Marco is one of the reasons too, I guess. I mean, he's the best thing what's happened to me if I had to choose between those three, but Marco is also confusing me sometimes. Or maybe it's not Marco who's confusing me, maybe it's my own feelings. The warm and familiar feeling, only showing up every time I'm with Marco. That sounds odd. I haven't figured out what it is or what it means.

Sometimes I really wonder if Marco feels anything like that too. Sometimes it really feels like it's my heart what's sending me these messages, these warm feelings. It's like my heart knows Marco even better than my brain or my feelings. Like my heart has already made invisible bond with Marco. It sounds weird, now that I think about it. How is it even possible?

Before I noticed it, I was already pressing my hand against my chest. It's like my heart already knows who Marco is. It trusts him and tries to inform my brain about Marco, by sending these strange warm feelings.

Is it even possible? Is this even normal?

I closed my eyes and focused on my own thoughts. I could hear my heartbeat, I tried to listen what it wanted to tell me. Clearly there's something I should know, something what only my heart knows. If I try enough, maybe I'll be able to hear it and listen to everything it wants to say.

The world around me went blurry, even though I had my eyes closed. The sounds around me, like birds' chirping and cars' engine noises, they all started to fade away. It was just me and only me. Me, listening to my heart and ignoring everything else around me. The world didn't mean anything right now. I squeezed my hand into fist but didn't move it away from my chest.

I was starting to drift toward inner peace. Everything calmed, or at least I felt peace inside me. My fist was very loose now and my eyelids felt really heavy. I liked this. I liked how calm everything was, how there wasn't any stress or any other distraction. It was like had stepped into my own world, I could say it felt like I was somewhere over the rainbow. Damn, I hope I don't find myself at the magical Land of Oz.

Suddenly I felt like I was falling. I wasn't able to react to it though, because as fast as I felt the falling feeling, I felt how strong arms wrapped around me. I wanted to open my eyes, but my eyelids were still like a pair of steel. And to be honest, I didn't want to leave this wonderland where I had drifted. I missed this calm feeling, I missed the time I didn't have such a weight on my shoulders or the time when I really didn't feel this exhausted. Am I dreaming? Or am I sleeping?

Holy shit, I am actually falling into sleep!

The arms moved my body a little bit and then my head was resting on something soft. Fingers brushed my hair gently and sometimes I felt them moving carefully on my cheek, before they went back to my hair. It was calming and everything was still at the peace. It was perfect. All this, it was like a heaven had fallen on the land and treating me like I was made of glass. I loved it, at least now it felt so nice.

Everything felt like it lasted at least one eternity. I could feel how my body was resting, even though I somehow knew I was sleeping. Or in the coma-like state again. I could still be aware of my surroundings but at the same time I was resting. My eyes were resting, my whole body was resting. Even my mind was resting.

When I finally opened my eyes, very slowly, I couldn't see anything. The sky, the sunlight, everything was too bright. I closed my eyes as fast as I could. A sigh of relief escaped from my mouth, I was still relaxed. It's good thing, I guess. I tried to open my eyes again. After the blurriness was over, I was just staring at the sky and the person who was sitting under me and let me use his lap as a pillow or something. It wasn't even a surprise who it was, I could have guessed right without even trying.

He hadn't noticed that my eyes were open, his brown eyes were watching somewhere into the distance. No matter how it looked like he was as relaxed as I was, I could see how he was sometimes observing the park like a watchdog. There wasn't any kind of expression on his face, it looked more like he was also relaxing his face muscles as well. A tiny smile escaped to my face. Marco didn't look like he usually did, it was clear that he was lost in his thoughts. He was thinking, but still at the same time he had enough patience to guard me as well. Somehow I felt grateful, because now I didn't look like a homeless bum, sleeping at the park.

Marco was stroking very gently my hair, he probably didn't want to wake me up. He knew how tired I was and he wanted to let me sleep. That's really sweet. I closed my eyes again and just enjoyed the closeness. I felt like I didn't have to worry about anything, Marco was making sure that I was safe and it made me feel so damn good. He was treating me like I was a irreplaceable treasure. And knowing Marco's personality, he probably thought something like that. I've heard him describe people as a unique pearls, everyone was somehow important. If they were not important to society, at least they were important to someone.

"You didn't even have to guess where I was", I muttered and though my eyes were closed, I knew that he looked surprised now. I could tell that soon after the surprising feeling was over, his mouth curved into a smile. It was one of his most precious smiles, you didn't have to see it, you could just feel all the warmth what it held. His hand stopped, but only for a moment, until he continued petting me.

"Maybe. You looked like you needed some time alone, so I didn't ran after you. I thought it'd be necessary to give you all the time you needed to clear your head." I was smiling now too. He was right, he knew when I needed a time to be alone and clean my head. Marco knew so much already, sometimes it felt like we've known each other our whole lives. He was able to read me like a book. I wasn't as good to read him, but I still managed to get some information out of him by just looking at his body language. Sometimes the answers were written with a big font on his face.

"True. You know me so well." I chuckled and then opened my eyes. Marco was looking at me and now I got embarrassed. My head was resting at his lap, after all. I'm sure we looked like a lovebirds to outsiders who had no idea what was going on. It was little embarrassing, but you know what? I don't actually fucking care about that right now.

"Are you okay?" He asked and I'm afraid I don't have any good answer to that question. I'm not sure. I have no idea. Nothing feels like okay.

"Not sure" I couldn't give anything else as an answer. I don't know. I yawned and then I finally sat up. I stretched my hands and another yawn escaped. Even though I'm feeling very relaxed at the moment, I know I'm still pretty tired. That little rest was good, but didn't really help me with the exhaustion. I know it'll come back soon. I don't mind it right now, I have something I can cherish at least and recall when I'm feeling down. And that something was this moment.

"I'm sure they think I'm an idiot or something. I got angry without any good reason." I really hoped that Eren and Armin aren't thinking like that. It wasn't their fault. Again, it's because of the shit I'm dealing right now. Marco stared at me for a moment until he shook his head and started to massage my shoulders. "No they aren't."

The massage was like a icing on the cake, it was perfect cure for my stiffness. My shoulders have been really hard as rocks lately. My muscles were starting to soft under his touch, he knew what he was doing and how to make my body relax even more.

"Well, I think your friend was talking over his mouth. I'm not surprised that you got pissed off, he was getting little rude", Marco said and I hummed with agreement. Well, it's true that Eren can be very rude time to time but it's not always his fault. He doesn't realize it always. And when he does, he knows to shut his mouth. I can relate to him so much, I usually shout everything without hesitation. I don't know what's gotten into me but lately I've started to watch my words before letting them out of my mouth. Weird.

"That's the way Eren is. Can't help it, he doesn't mean anything bad though. He was just giving back all the teasings I gave to him."

Marco didn't answer to that. He just kept massaging my shoulders. It was so relaxing moment, it was pure perfection. Then suddenly his fingers brushed over the mark on my neck and that startled me. It didn't hurt that much, but it was enough to make me get away from him and hop on my feet.

"Jean, you know I'm worried about you, right? I've tried to keep my nose away from your problems but I'm really curious about that mark. Where did you get it?" Marco asked and I immediately covered the bite mark with my hand. Even a thought about it made me hiss like an angry cat. I didn't want to talk about it.

"You heard it already." My words didn't satisfy him, I could see the glimpses of curiosity in his brown eyes. He wasn't going to ignore this topic.

"Why didn't you say anything?" He asked next. Why I didn't say anything? Well, dear Marco, there's a lot of things what I haven't told you or anyone else.

"Marco, I don't want to talk about this", I hissed and backed away. It made me feel a lot bigger asshole, all the worry on Marco's face was like knives digging into my flesh.

"You can't downplay things like that."

"Fuck you Marco, I don't want to talk about this topic! It's none of your business."

I left. I left without taking the final glance of him. This is still a disaster. I am a disaster. I didn't mean it, I didn't want to get angry again. He didn't mean anything bad, he more likely wanted to help me.

_I hate myself._

* * *

When the day changed into night and it started to get dark, I found myself sitting on the couch and watching the late-night tv at the living room. It was already a quarter past midnight and there wasn't anything clever coming from the tv. It didn't matter though, I was okay with whatever bullshit was coming from there. I just needed something to do while I'm staying up the night.

I ignored most of the time the show I was watching, my mind was wandering through this day over and over again. I kept thinking about everything what had happened. I was glad I saw Eren, but then again I was also mad that it didn't turn out to be as pleasant as it should had been. I mean, at first we had nice time. Then I just had to be like an ass, shout like a crazy and get the hell out of there. And then the scene at the park. Oh god. I can't even describe all my feelings about that.

Even though I was embarrassed as hell, I also felt how my cheeks were getting hotter and probably redder. I didn't have to do much, just remember how relaxed I felt myself while napping, my head on Marco's lap. I'm sure that during that time, I didn't feel like anything was trying to hurt me or that something bad was going on. Marco had been like a guardian, making sure I got my rest without anyone interrupting it.

And still I had to be an jackass and yell at him after that, even when I knew that he didn't mean anything bad. I know he has noticed the mark on my neck but he's like Armin, too polite to make a scene. I bet he and Armin would get along very well, both of them were kind and tried to see the good qualities on every person. And I think Armin would really like the way Marco is respecting the nature. I'm not sure about Armin, but I think he's having a respect toward it too. Not maybe at the same level as Marco, but still he probably understood mostly what Marco felt when he was just enjoying the scenery.

Why I can't be like others. Why I have these things happening to me.

At least something changed after that stupid horse bit me. If I'm very lucky, it might not pay a visit anymore. It used to come here every night, but there's been already three days when it hasn't come at all. I'm very glad about that, that's the start I guess. I just hope it won't come here again. Ever again, no no.

It was a windy night. I hoped there wasn't any upcoming storms, wasn't in the mood to deal with them too. It was already too much when the strong wind blew, it was making strange sounds outside the house. Sometimes I'm sure that the windows are rattling or something, it was the only logical reason for that strange sound. I have to admit it, this house is a little old so the old wood can also creak even when you weren't walking around the house.

The show I was watching ended and I stood up, stretching my arms and yawning hard. I was tired, but I wasn't going to sleep. No way. Besides, there was going to start some kind of movie, so I'd have a nice movie night, right? Yes, that's a good plan. I left the living room and went to the kitchen, a movie without snacks isn't a proper movie night. And if the movie sucks really much, I can always watch one from my owns. I've collected quite a lot of DVDs after all.

I didn't have any candies or chips, but I wasn't craving them either. I ended up making a fruit salad because there was some fruits on the kitchen top and if I wasn't going to do anything or eat them, they were going to get bad. Can't waste the food, after all. Besides there was some canned fruits in the cabinet. I could make a pretty delicious fruit salad with all of these ingredients.

While I was cutting a banana into smaller slices, I got this strange feeling that something wasn't right. I turned around and looked at the window's direction, though it had curtains in front of it. I gulped and turned back to the kitchen top, continuing what I was doing. It's okay, I'm just imagining things. Stop being childish Jean, you're aware about your wild imagination. And the wind is fooling you, too.

No matter how much I tried, I couldn't ignore the way the goosebumps had started to form on my skin or how my heart was beating a little faster. It was like my body was preparing itself, or that it was scared of something. Sometimes I thought I felt a gaze on my back, but that's not possible. The curtains are blocking the windows.

When I was mixing the ingredients, something inside my head screamed and commanded me to stop whatever I was doing and stay quiet. I did what it said. I was quiet, I stopped all the things I was doing and just stared at the bowl where the fruit slices were. I didn't know what I was supposed to win by this act. A faint music was coming from the tv, the intro of the movie was probably going on. I didn't hear anything weird, so I let out a sigh of relief. After that, I heard it.

There was a tiny scratch coming from the direction of the front door, it was like someone was trying to open it. The door was locked, I knew it was because I checked it at least three times before I was convinced enough that it was locked. My heart missed a couple of beats, the sound what was coming from the door was really weak and faint, but I could definitely hear it. And I know I wasn't imagining it or that it wasn't coming from the tv.

Someone was behind the door, trying to open it.

My breathing changed, I was breathing rapidly and my heart was hammering against my chest. It hurt. I felt how my mouth went dry, how the fear was taking a grip on me. I looked around until I took the sharp knife, the one what I had used to cut fruits. Slowly and silently I moved toward the front door, the closer it got, the more I squeezed the knife. I still heard the scratching noise. I moved closer to the door and carefully pressed my ear against the wooden surface.

The noise stopped. I waited patiently, if there really was someone, I'd hear their footsteps when they moved away from the door. I don't know how long I stood there, but when it had been quiet enough, I sighed again. Maybe I imagined it after all, there's no way anyone could move away from our front door without making any kind of sounds. I was relieved. This is what you get when you don't sleep and stay up all the nights.

I laughed to my own stupidity and moved back to kitchen. I felt so stupid, I was wandering around the house with a friggin' knife on my hand. Is that even healthy anymore? Or more like sane? I don't know. I put the knife back to the sink and finished preparing the fruit salad. Okay, I'm ready for the movie now.

I turned around and even managed to smile. The fruit salad looked damn delicious and I didn't care if the movie had already started. If it sucks, I can always choose another. I was taking a step toward the living room when my body went completely stiff. My eyes locked onto the kitchen window and the bowl dropped, the fruit salad spreading all over the floor. I can't remember anymore were the curtains properly over the window or not, but there was a tiny gap between the two fabrics.

And on that dark line in the middle of it, I could see a single eye, watching me.

Everything stopped. I couldn't register anything what was happening around me. It was like the time was an unknown thing, there wasn't a time anymore! All I could hear was my loudly and rapidly beating heart. I was breathless, my mouth was opening and closing. What was I supposed to do?

I blinked couple of times and the eye was still there, staring at me. It even grew wider, like the owner of it noticed that I just saw it. Then it disappeared like nothing had happened. I don't know was there any sounds of footsteps outside, I was whining a little and I even dropped to sit on my knees. The panic grew inside my chest, I'm sure as hell that I didn't imagine it!

I was sitting there and I couldn't take another look toward the window. I didn't have to, when a human shaped shadow reflected to the floor, I pressed myself against the closest wall. I was crying but at the same time I was laughing, even to my own surprise. The shadow disappeared as fast as it had showed up. Then there was a nightmarish sound. The same what I had heard on my nightmare. Clopping and then a very high-pitched neigh.

That's it. That sealed everything.

The adrenaline was spreading through my stiff body when I hopped onto my feet, moved to the front door and after managing to unlock it, I opened it and ran outside. I don't know why I even did that, but I had had enough. I didn't fucking care if I was going to die the moment I stepped outside or not, I just couldn't stay there.

I was running along the sidewalk and my vision was blurry, the tears blocked it and made sure I didn't see anything. I was running, running as fast as I could. I didn't know was I followed or not, was I followed by a horse or someone else. I've had enough. If that's going to be the issue for the rest of my life, I don't want to even live anymore! Who could, who can live if that's the future! If you can't be at the peace in your own fucking house!

I didn't care that I cried loudly, or that I was running without shoes, with my bare feet. The little rocks tingled under my feet but I didn't care about that. I just wanted to run, run as much as I could. There was a big chance that I was going to get myself under a car but it wasn't a problem. In fact, it would save me from everything!

I bumped into something or someone. I tried to get away, tried to flee from the scene but the person just took my hand before I managed to escape. "No! Let go of me!" I yelled, and after that, I still cried loudly. I was scared, was this my end now? The hand let go, but then a pair of hands wrapped around me and I was pressed against someone's chest. I tried to get away, screaming like a rabid dog, but when I smelled the familiar scent and started to figure out who the person was, my sobbing got awfully lot louder and I pressed my face against the person's shoulder.

"Shh, everything's okay. Calm down. You look like you're fleeing for your life."

A hand started to stroke my back and I kept crying like a scared child. To be honest, I was like one right now. There wasn't any difference between me and scared child. I tried to say something but the fabric of his shirt muffled my weak voice.

"Jean calm down, I can't understand you. There, easy." His words soothe me and I moved away from his shoulder, I wanted to see his eyes. It was dark and I couldn't really see Marco's dark eyes but I tried. I didn't want to see anything else. He was examining my eyes, like he was trying to get the answer from them. I gulped again and then he cupped my face between his hands. "Jean, what's wrong?"

The tears escaped from my eyes, even more of them than before. I know I was crying very ugly but can't help it. "I'm so tired of this shit!" I managed to say, my voice was weak and pathetic. The worry on Marco's face grew even more, it was reflecting into his eyes.

"I can't live on like this. I don't want to live this kind of life..." I sobbed even more, but then Marco let my face go and hugged me so tightly that I was afraid that my ribs were going to get broken.

"It's okay, Jean. It's okay, don't cry."

I hid my face back onto his shoulder and sobbed for a while, but Marco stood there and waited patiently. He didn't say anything else, only the words that comforted me and the way he stroked my back and my hair gave me more of the feeling that I was safe again. That there wasn't anything bad in the world, that nothing was going to hurt me.

After the worst crying was over, Marco finally opened his mouth again. "You have to go back to home, Jean. It's middle of the night, you can't wander around here." I couldn't help but wince after hearing his words.

"No! I don't want to go there. Please Marco, don't make me go back there. I don't want to die!" I whined, I was distressed and it surprised him a little. I was so full of anxiety and fear, he hadn't noticed all of it until now.

"But Jean, you can't stay here either. You have to go back to your home and sleep, you're delusional. The lack of sleep makes you like that." He was stroking my hair even more, but I stubbornly shook my head like a kid. "No Marco, I won't go there! I don't want to be alone."

I started to sob again, but before I started to wail like a baby, I felt Marco's soft lips on my forehead. It made me quiet and I was just only sniffling. He noticed how the small kiss was enough to calm me and his worried face was replaced with a gentle smile.

"Now that you're finally calming down, I offer that I escort you back to your house." He smiled, but his smile was wiped off when I shook my head. Marco was confused now and tilted his head.

"There was someone! I heard them, or or.. Marco, I fucking saw someone outside our house. I can't go back there, I can't be there alone. I'm going mad.. I'm losing my sanity."

Marco stared at me the whole time. When I finished my sentence, he sighed and shook his head. "Jean, you're delusional because you're having unhealthy sleeping behavior. Look, if you want, I can come there and check every place and corner. I can make sure there's nothing."

I thought his offer. I thought it a lot, until I gave up and nodded. He smiled again and did what he promised. He escorted me back to my home, holding my hand the whole way. When we stepped inside, he glanced around and probably tried to figure out what I had done before running out of the house. The fruit salad was still on the floor, the tv was on and the movie was going on. "Wait here." He said and let go of my hand. I nodded and stood at the front door, waiting while he walked around my house and made sure no one was lurking outside. He even checked the whole backyard before returning.

"Did you find anyone?" I asked but he shook his head. He lead me back inside and closed the door behind him. "There wasn't even a single footprint on the ground. Like I said, you're imagining things because you're not sleeping. The lack of sleep is making you see delusional images and maybe bring up your fears even more. Go to sleep Jean. You have to sleep."

He won, I couldn't say any protests. I just turned off the tv and the lights. I'd deal with the fruit salad on the floor at the morning. I let Marco lead me to upstairs and to my bedroom. It was even messier than what it had been the first time Marco saw it. He didn't mind it. He just leaded me to my bed and stood there until I slipped between the blankets.

"Good. Now Jean, sleep. You can't live like this. No one can. I'll see you tomorrow, I'll promise." He smiled and turned around, but I took his hand before he could leave.

"No. Don't leave me, please. I can't sleep if I know I'm alone here. Please Marco, I'm begging you. Stay. You can stay over." I whined like a kid and it wouldn't even surprise me if Marco was already tired of my shit. I mean, I wouldn't do anything what he has done to me already. He turned his head and stared at me for a couple of minutes. I was afraid that he was going to leave. I could feel how the tears were gathering again, ready to fall onto my cheeks.

Without any warnings, he smiled and sat on the edge of my bed. "Alright, you win. I'll stay. But only if you promise me that you're going to sleep, right now." I was so happy and relieved that I couldn't get any words out of me, so I just nodded. I moved a little bit, making some room for Marco and then I pressed my head against my pillow. I closed my eyes and I felt how Marco was taking his shoes off. It didn't take long until he was lying next to me. I was tired and I knew I was going to fall asleep soon. I didn't think anything, I just snuggled closer to him and I smiled, he allowed me to do it and even wrapped his own hands around me. I've never felt as safe as I felt that moment.

I felt his lips on my forehead again and the act relaxed me completely. I felt safe. I was sure I could sleep this night, because this time I had a guardian for the upcoming dreams.

There was a real guardian angel, making sure that I was safe. I was safe from my nightmares, I was safe from the horse. Nothing was going to hurt me tonight.

_"Good night Jean, sleep well."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yush here we meet again in the end notes ^^  
> This chapter turned out kinda scary, even though it wasn't my aim for this. Whoops, oh well. There needs to be at least one creepy chapter, right?  
> Fun fact: This chapter had at first different name but when I was writing this chapter, during the middle of it I decided to change it because it wasn't really fitting or good for this, and I just randomly ended up with this song. Good song, good lyrics ^^
> 
> The next chapter is under the progress, I know a lot of things what's going to be there so it's not so hard to write it . At least I hope so.  
> Sneak peek for the next chapter: Someone notices something really weird on Marco ~
> 
> Hehheh I won't give you this time more sneak peeks \ (•◡•) /  
> Thank you for reading this chapter and we see on the next one!


	6. Doubt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing more than one big cliffhanger. Strange things happening and drinking getting out of control? Who knows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I kinda rushed with this and it's ready o.o That was fast  
> Anyway, I'm back with a new chapter! Yush ~ ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ  
> Have fun with this one.  
> \----
> 
> I can't see or hear anything  
> One is blindfolded, drowning in his dream  
> If my voice cannot reach you anyway  
> I can intoxicate you instead
> 
> The sound of the midnight bell ringing  
> One drowns in a whirlpool of his desires  
> The prince arriving to take you away  
> Before the mask is torn of "doubt!"
> 
> Valshe - Doubt

_The forest was dark and silent, like all life in there had been drained off. I was walking through it, glancing around and searching for the exit. I was lost, every time I tried to head towards the tiny glimpse of light what was showing far away, I never really reached it. It was really frustrating._

_I tried to open my mouth and shout, but it was like my voice was muted. No sounds came, no matter how much I tried. The forest had threatening atmosphere, I could feel how something was staring at me from the shadows, but I didn't see what it was. Was it a human? Or a beast? No idea._

_The crack from a tree branch made me jump a little bit. I was sure something was with me now, that something had accidentally stepped on the branch, at least that's what I guessed. I turned my head to different directions and tried to track the direction where the sound came from. My heart was pounding but I was too busy to search the source of the sound._

_Really cold wind blew through the forest now, making the top of the trees sough. Another breeze came shortly after the first one, but this time I could hear a whisper travelling on it and it sounded more like the whisper was echoing everywhere. It was repeating my name over and over again, like someone who wanted to get my attention. It was getting annoying and creepy, for a moment I blocked my ears with my hands and ignored it. It didn't help much, somehow the whisper managed to get past my hands and get inside my head, too._

_"What do you want?" I asked and started to back away. The whispers, repeating my name over and over again, continued and I was more anguished about it now. Someone wanted my attention, but no matter how much I gave it to them, they didn't say anything else. They didn't tell me what the problem was or what they wanted to say to me._

_I bumped into something and my heart jumped up my throat. Something was behind me, I could feel the cold breathing on my neck._

_"Jean"_

_The whisper came right behind me. My body went stiff and I turned around, taking a step or two to get away from the thing behind me. Two red eyes stared at me in the darkness and even though it was really scary situation, I was able to keep my fear at the minimum._

_"Stay away from me, you fucking beast." It wasn't the most clever thing to say on that situation, but nothing else came up to my mind. I saw the white teeth row again and before I heard its blood-curdling cry, I ran without hesitation. I didn't look behind but I heard it, after running couple of steps. It wasn't the usual shriek, this time it was a neigh but it was still scary enough to make me run even more._

_I heard the clopping behind me, it was chasing me now. I wasn't surprised about it, I had assumed it would do so. At least I had the head start, but it won't take long until the horse was right after me. I tried to search some kind of hiding place but the dark forest didn't really help me. The horse, or the beast, already seemed to know this place and if I tried to hide, it'd find me really easily. It was better to try and escape, somewhere what was more familiar to me._

_I didn't want to end up being a piece of meat to something. To be a meal for the beast that is chasing me._

_The tiny ray of hope woke up in my mind when I saw the light coming not so far away. And to my own surprise, it was directly in front of me, I was running the right path. I didn't try to look behind, I didn't want to see the red eyes anymore. It was enough that I heard the clopping, I knew the horse was galloping behind me._

_Not so long anymore... a little more..._

_I made it!_

_I managed to ran toward the light and this time it didn't disappear, instead the darkness started to fade away. I found the exit of the forest! I'm safe, the beast won't show up on the lighted area. It likes to hide in the dark, right? I really hope so!_

_My eyes needed a little time to adjust to the sudden light. I didn't care, I had already escaped so there was no need to hurry. I didn't stop running though, I was still fleeing. When my eyes finally got used to the light, I yelped and barely stopped. I was standing at the edge of some kind of cliff, it wasn't near the sea but instead it was near a pond or a lake. I stared at the water what was waiting at the bottom._

_Could I jump? No, the cliff is too high. Is here any other way? I took a quick look around but I didn't find any other way. I have to jump or go back to the forest. And to be honest, none of them were tempting choices. I sighed and then I heard the cracks of branches and a low neigh behind me. I turned around and stared at the forest. I had to made my choice, now._

_First I saw the horse's head, coming from the shadows of the forest but the more it moved toward the light, the more I got confused. The horse was looking normal, no sign of the beast or anything. Just a regular, black horse. There was a rider on its back, riding without the bridle or the saddle._

_I backed without really thinking it more and my foot slipped. I lost my balance and the cliff under me felt like it was collapsing too. I started to fall, but then someone grabbed my hand and I was just hanging in the air, trying to get back to the cliff. I raised my gaze and saw the person who was trying to pull me back._

_"Marco?"_

_My voice was weak and pathetic, but somehow it was strong enough to be heard. Marco tried to pull me back where I had fallen, but it was like he didn't have enough strength to do it._

_"I can't pull you up", Marco almost whined, his eyes locking with mine and his face was full of despair. I heard the horse move away from the scene, it left us alone and trotted back to the forest._

_"You shouldn't trust that horse. It's not a horse, it's predator", I said and tried to get myself on the edge again, but I couldn't either. We were both lacking the strength. While I was trying again, I heard a splash somewhere right below me. My gaze fall down and I got confused, the fear was waving through my body._

_There was something in the water, something right in the deeps of it. I saw a hand raising from the the water, like it was trying to reach for me. Then the rest of the human torso raised. The drop was high and it took me some time to check this new person on the water. He looked familiar, though his dark hair was glued onto his head because of the wetness. He raised his other hand too, like he was ready to try and catch me if I was going to fall. When I recognized him, I'm sure my heart missed a beat or two._

_It was Marco, too._

_I was confused, raising my gaze back to the person who was trying to pull me back to the cliff. Marco. There was two Marcos, other waiting me at the bottom and another trying to get me back to the top of the cliff._

_"Why there's two of you.." My voice was rough, trying to keep it together but I was sure it was going to shiver the next time I open my mouth._

_"Jean, you have to make your choice. My hand's going to slip soon if you don't make your own move", Marco said and I could feel how his hand was slipping slightly, his grip was getting loose. I was going to fall if he let my hand go._

_"Between what? Marco I can't understand. What happens if I fall now, aren't you there too, catching me?" I asked but he didn't answer. I heard the shriek and after that came the familiar neigh. I could hear the clops coming from the horse's hooves and then I saw the tiny glimpse of the black horse, it was standing close to Marco, watching curiously how he was trying to pull me back to the cliff. Then I heard another splash and my gaze fell again. The second Marco was still there too, but next to him swam horse. No, it wasn't the black horse. It was the beast, it's red eyes shining and sharp teeth showing too._

_"What I have to do? Don't let me fall there. Marco!"_

_I raised my gaze back and tried to help him to pull me back, but it didn't help. It made just everything worse, his hand slipped again a little. He looked like he was going to cry, hell, even I felt like I was going to cry soon._

_"You have to remember Jean, that's the only way. Remember."_

* * *

I felt the sun rays on my face and the light coming from them started to wake me up. At first I opened my eyes and just stared at the ceiling, trying to recall where I was or what had actually just happened. My eyes grew wider with wonder, but after that, I realized that I was lying on my bed, nowhere else than my bedroom. Everything felt weird but the exhaustion was gone.

I rubbed my eyes and closed them after that. That's weird. Everything felt so strange, it's been long since I've rested like this. I think this is the end for my attempt to avoid sleeping, I can't do it. But last night was really weird, horrible if you ask me.

The dream. I suddenly snapped out of my dreamy haze, my mind now clear and focusing on attempt to try remember the dream from last night. It was so weird. It was scary, but not at the same level with my other nightmares. Yes, I think it was more like confusing. There was two Marcos and two horses. The other Marco was waiting me on top of the cliff and tried to help me, the other one was just waiting me at the bottom, ready to catch me if I was going to fall.

What does it mean?

Wait, Marco!

I opened my eyes and turned onto my side. There wasn't anyone beside me on the bed, I was alone. But Marco, he was here last night! I remember falling into sleep with him, he was lying right next to me! I pressed my hand onto my bed, the spot where he had been. I'm sure he was here, I'm sure I'm not imagining it. Did he ditch me while I was sleeping? Did he left after I had fallen asleep?

Something startled me and I sat up. There was an odd sound coming from the downstairs, I couldn't recognize it but someone was rattling something. Oh god, is there a burglar? I bit my lip, searching something what would make a weapon if it's needed. After scanning my room, I stood up and took the old bat what was leaning against one of the corner.

I walked very carefully out of my room and then down the stairs. I'm glad I know our house pretty well, because of that I was able to avoid the spots which were creaking really badly. I didn't want to let that intruder know that I'm here. Did I let one of the doors unlocked? If I did, it was the front door then. I didn't check it because Marco lead me to my room, he was the one who closed the door. I should have said something about making sure its properly locked!

At the end of the stairs I looked around. The house was all silent and untouched except for the rattling, which was coming from the kitchen. Wait, is mom back? No, can't be. She can't be here right now. I moved silently away and headed toward the kitchen door, my grip growing tighter around the bat. Whoever is there better get ready, I'm going to use this bat if it's necessary.

I walked really slowly to the kitchen and raised the bat, ready to hit as hard as I could. Someone was sitting on their knees and rubbing the paper towel against the floor. I recognized the person quickly and at the same time he raised his gaze from the floor to me, looking a little scared and then confused.

"Jean what are you doing?" He asked and backed a little, like he was scared that I was going to hit him with the bat. I lowered it really quickly and let out a sigh of relief. Damn Marco, what are you doing?

"You scared me! I thought some burglar was trying to rob the house or something", I answered and let out a tiny embarrassed chuckle. I put the bat lean against the wall and my gaze was back on Marco. He was staring at me, sitting on his knees and finally looking relieved. I felt little bad, I scared him as much as he scared me. I'm sure I looked pretty crazy with my bat.

"What are you doing?" I asked, though it was pretty clear what he was doing. Maybe the real question would be why. Why is he cleaning the floor? He's cleaning the mess I made last night. Why Marco, why?

"Oh, I woke up but didn't want to wake you, you looked like you really needed that sleep. I didn't feel like lying there until you'd wake up, so I remembered the mess on the floor and decided to clean it for you. There's nothing else I'd do, after all. And I didn't want to leave you alone, not until you wake up", Marco explained himself while he continued what he was doing. The floor was almost clean, there was still a stains here and there but he had done good work with it. Most of the fruit salad was gone.

He's too kind. What does he even mean here's nothing he could do in the meantime while I'm sleeping? He could've watched tv or something. Ugh, Marco. Did you fall from the heaven?

"You know, you really didn't have to clean it. I'd have done it today", I tried to say but he just shook his head and told me it was nothing and he's okay with it. I was surprised, but I guess it somehow fit with his personality. After all, he was mostly like a saint or something, too perfect human if you want my opinion.

Even though the floor was almost cleaned completely, I decided to help him and together we cleaned the last bit of the fruit salad mess. After it was done, Marco asked if he could take a shower since he had missed it last night. It was okay, I told him where he would find a clean towel for himself and that I'll make something for breakfast while he's taking his shower.

Before I even started to make anything, I went to get my phone and searched my mother's number. There was some things what were itching me, I wanted to get the answers and she'd have them. I'm sure, even though I might have forgotten something important, she might know what it is. I don't know am I going crazy because of my dream, but I got this feeling that I need to know the thing what I've forgotten. If my dreams starts to yell me about remembering something, maybe I should dig into the foggy memories before I can use it to the way my dream wants me to.

I leaned against the wall while I waited someone to pick up the call. It'd be nice to hear mom's voice again, even though they left just a little before summer holiday started. I kinda miss her, I miss dad too. Normally I didn't mind to be alone in this house, but lately the need for another person being here has grown and now I just feel like I can't live here alone anymore. I'm scared, I admit it.

After the annoying beeping had kept going on forever, someone finally answered. And I was glad that the person at the other end of the phone was no other than the person I'd wanted it to be.

_"Oh Jean, hi! I'm glad you decided to call, how are you?"_

I smiled, her voice was really reassuring. I didn't even know how much I had actually missed her until hearing her voice now. That's weird, isn't it? No matter how you try to act like you don't need your mom, in the end she's one of the persons who can easily make you feel safe and happy. "I'm fine, sorry I haven't called you. How's the work?"

_"That's okay sweetheart, we've been busy. But don't think we've already forgotten you. These last two weeks have been really intense, but I think we can come back home soon."_

The thought about my parents coming home made my mind set in peace. If they really would come soon, I wouldn't have to stay here alone anymore. And if someone was stalking our house or wandering around, I wouldn't have to face it alone. Is it selfish, though? It's clear that if there's some kind of stalker, they're stalking me. No one's here except me, there's no one else who could be the target. Could it turn out to be dangerous? If that's the case, somehow I hope my parent's won't come home yet. I don't want to put them on danger, just because there's someone after me.

I was lost in my thoughts and I lost the contact with my mom completely. She was still speaking, but I didn't hear her anymore. My mind ignored her, I was thinking about what has happened since the beginning of the holiday. Something is going on, but what? Nightmares, why I am seeing them? What are they trying to tell me, or am I just losing my mind here? I'm really worried.

_"Jean? Is everything okay?"_

I finally woke up again from my thoughts, mom was asking am I okay. To be honest, I don't know. I'm not okay, there's something wrong with me. Could anyone help me? Am I really losing my sanity, am I going mad? I don't want to.

"There's something I want to ask."

Whatever was going on, I was going to make things clear and sort out what's happening. If something's wrong with me, I just have to do something about it. But if something fishy is going on, I need to make a stop for that. But what if the problem isn't me?

"I was just wondering that can you tell me something what I can't remember. From the past, there's something I really want to know."

_"For the love of god, Jean. What do you want to ask?"_

I bit my lip for a moment, feeling the tiny moment of hesitation. Here it goes, I have to ask this before my head explodes. I need to know, I'm thirsty for the answers. They might be the last pieces of this strange puzzle what I'm trying to assemble. I just need the last pieces.

"Mom.. Can you tell me about the nightmare period. You remember it, right? I need to know everything about it. I can't remember anything."

She went all silent, I waited her answer and bit my lip even harder. There was some goosebumps on my skin already, but the way my mom just stayed silent like she was hesitating, it was all creepy. She knew something, right? Something she might not want to tell me. That's why she doesn't answer right away. There was a loud sigh on the other side.

_"Jean.. look honey, it's been really long time since that happened. I'm not sure do I remember a lot of it anymore, I've kinda tried to forget it. It was a terrible time. Why are you bringing it up now? Sweetie, is everything alright?"_

She was hesitating. I could hear it from her voice, she remembered but didn't want to tell me. I kinda assumed she would be like that and I definitely won't suspect that she has tried to get rid of those memories, too. I can remember that it was hard time, she was tired after staying up late all nights, because of my nightmares.

"Mom, it's kinda important. I need to know, so please, can you tell me?" I tried and I guess I was succesful, she sighed and sounded defeated.

_"I've never seen you as distressed as you were back then. I couldn't do anything to make you feel better, it was horrible. You woke up every night, crying and talking about scary things. You spoke so much about things like dying and something coming after you..."_

She continued but my thoughts exploded like a ticking time bomb. I had to take tighter grip or else I was going to drop my phone. _Things like dying and something coming after you_. My heart was hammering against my chest and I felt the sudden sickness washing over my body. What exactly happened before the nightmare period started back then? What caused it, what made me fear things like that? No, why those same subjects are at the surface again. Why are they haunting me? Didn't I tell Marco just yesterday that I was going to die?

_"Hello? Jean are you there?"_

I shook my head. I have to focus, I need to stay in one piece.

"I am here, sorry. I got lost in my thoughts."

_"Are you having nightmares again?"_

I wanted to tell her the truth, I wanted really badly. But that would make her worry about me too much, I couldn't do that to her. Not again, she has already suffered enough from my nightmares.

"No. I'm okay mom, I just remembered something."

We talked quite a lot after that, I had to turn her thoughts away from this conversation. No, I don't want her to come here. If she starts to worry too much, she'll come home, no matter how badly their work's going to suffer. In fact, I want to keep her as far away as possible. There's something weird going on and I don't want her to get in the middle of it.

When the call ended, I started to make some breakfast. My mind was wandering on the sentences what my mom said, I tried to remember. I really wanted to, it'd help a lot if I remembered what set me to the nightmare period years ago. What was going on in my mind during that time? I was scared of something, so much that I even feared that it's going after me and probably kill me.

I took a quick glance of the clock and realized that Marco had been in the shower quite long. Was everything okay? I turned my head back to the kitchen top and finished what I was cooking. The whole house was silent, I couldn't hear the running water or even footsteps. It was like I was alone in here.

Weird. I turned and was going walk toward the stairs but I wasn't able to do it. The moment I turned and my gaze moved too, I almost screamed. Someone was standing right next to me. Shortly after getting scared, I sighed and tried to calm myself.

"Marco! That's not funny!"

He stared at me, but unlike Connie who would just laugh and give me a compliment about my hilarious expression, Marco didn't look like he was amused. I think even he got scared because of my sudden reaction. Then after that, his eyes had his typical apologetic gaze. "I'm sorry Jean, I didn't mean to scare you."

During the breakfast, we both were uncomfortably quiet. The atmosphere was odd.

* * *

We ended up spending the whole day together. It was like me and Marco were glued to each other. He helped me to clean the house since it was in an awful condition, I haven't had any kind of energy to do something about it since I started to avoid sleeping. But now, everything was getting back into order.

I noticed during our visit to the park that Marco was kinda acting weird today. Sometimes he was so lost in his own world inside his head that even if I tried to shake him gently or something, he didn't always snapped out of it until I used more power. It was really out of his character, like something was bothering him.

When the night came, I tried to make him stay here again but he had to refuse the offer this time. I don't even doubt why, he needs to show himself at his home too, before his family is getting too worried about him. The only problem was that I knew the bad sleeping behavior was going to come back as soon as I was left alone here. Was it even anything new anymore?

It was pretty dark when Marco finally left. He told me to sleep and promised to see me tomorrow. I wanted to ask him if he really trusted me that much that he'd believe that I was going to sleep tonight like nothing was wrong. But I thought it would be rude, after all what Marco has already done for me. Helping me deal with this shit is the greatest thing he's done and I can't even tell how much I want to thank him for that.

During our cleaning session, I found something interesting. So, after Marco left and I made sure the doors were locked properly, I moved to the living room. There was one chest of drawers and one of the drawer was full of old paper stuff. I've never really thought what there could be, but the tiny voice inside my head told me that I should definitely give a shot and examine them.

Opportunity makes the thief, like they say.

Besides, that drawer has always been locked. Now it's not and I got a chance to see the papers there. You can't stop me now, I'm curious and I will poke my nose into things what's been hidden from me.

I opened the drawer and stared at the papers there. There was a lot of different kind of papers but when I took a small bunch of them away, something caught my interest. I shoved the papers from my hand to top of the chest and then my hand automatically went back to the drawer, grabbing one of the papers and slowly taking it to close to my face.

It was an old drawing. Nothing weird on it. But the next paper inside the drawer really caught my interest. It was upside down, the white back of it showing up and the only thing on it was the date. I took the paper and stared at the date.

Wait a minute. That date, that year. It felt like my heart dropped when I recalled that year and the date. My skin was turning into goosebumps, I felt how I was sweating a little bit. I kept staring at the date. The year.

The drawing was done around the time I had my nightmare period.

I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that this drawing, this piece of paper. It was from that year, from that time. Strange feeling washed over my body, something inside me told me that I should stop right now. But at the same time, another voice tried to make me continue, keep me doing this strange research. Unfortunately, the other voice and my curiosity won.

I turned the paper and stared at the picture on it. The lines, the colors. It was indeed something I have drawn and it looked like it was made by young child. The drawing had four little characters standing in front of the forest. In the middle of the group was a little boy, looking a lot like me. The other three were standing close to me, two of them being boys while one of them were girl. The girl had red-brown hair, tied in two pigtails. The other boy had pale brown messy hair, his bangs hanging over his forehead. The third boy had messy black hair.

I didn't recognize the other children in the picture. The reason for that made my chest feel like something was clasping in. The picture of me was the only one what was fully detailed. While the other children had their hairs and clothes drawn, they were missing their faces. No eyes, no mouth, no nose. Nothing. Nothing what would make it easier to recognize them.

' _Me and my new friends_ ' was reading at the top of the picture. My new friends? That's weird. I can't remember having any friends who had same kind of hairstyles like the other kids had in the picture. Were they at the same school with me? I was seven when this picture was done, I was seven when I suffered the nightmare period. Why I can't recall anything?

The next drawing was a mess of black, grey and white. There was also a red spots, but the picture didn't look like it was supposed to be something more than just a bunch of different colors messed up in the same paper. I turned the paper and looked at the date. It was from the nightmare period, too. The little scribble on the right corner caught my eyes and I took a closer look of the paper.

' _The Beast_ '

I felt how the colors from my face started to escape. The Beast. I turned it again and stared at the mess on the paper. The more I stared it, the more I started to see lines and the character was building up slowly. The outline was animal's. There was sharp white teeth, some of the white teeth had also red color on them. The animal was shown from its side. It had big head and strong neck. I started to understand what animal it was trying to be. Or what kind of monster it was trying to show.

An equine-looking beast.

I don't know how long I stared at it, but when I finally snapped out of my own world, I had to slap the paper against the chest, the backside showing to me. I had a surging feeling in my stomach. I wasn't feeling well.

The last and final drawing for this day didn't help me. It had three humans on it, all of them the faceless children from the earlier drawing. They were still lacking their faces. The drawing made me feel nauseous. They were all standing in the forest, red little lines like wounds around their bodies and far away between two trees was black character, looking too much like the creature from 'The Beast' drawing.

I had to stop there. I couldn't look through the other papers in the drawer, I just shoved everything back there and closed it. After that, I just stood still and thought about what I had just seen. The drawings, from the time when I was victim of nightmares. Me and my new friends. What does that mean? Why I can't recognize them, why I can't remember anything? I can't even remember drawing those pictures.

I was lost in my thought, my mind trying to find the answer to my questions. There was too many questions and so few answers. Or to be honest, there were no answers at all.

I groaned and decided to take a bath. I had to try and relax before going to sleep. Though I'm not sure am I able to do it anymore.

Without any drama, I went to the upstairs, filled the bathtub and soon I was trying to relax in the bath. The good thing about the baths were that those were good opportunities to relax your body and think. Most people probably thought about how they could spoil themselves even more, but I was just continuing my wondering about the drawings. About the nightmare period, the lost memories from my childhood, from that time.

"I'm so confused!" I yelled to myself and sank more into the warm water. The more I thought about them, the more my head felt like it was going to explode any minute now.

I sighed, I have to admit it. I'm defeated, there's nothing I can do about this problem. Those characters in the drawings are going to stay in mystery, and I guess I'll never know who they are supposed to be.

I closed my eyes and tried to clean my head from the bad thoughts. No more thinking about weird drawings or dreams. I have to ignore it and focus to this moment.

I'm thinking too much. I need a break or else my brain's going to melt away. I tried to relax, the warm and bubbly water helped. My body finally relaxed and I kept my eyes closed, clearing my head for a change. Overthinking isn't going to help me. It'll just make me even more confused and angry as hell, because no matter what I do, I can't get the answers. At least not right now.

The house was silent, it was just me and only me here. I was a little disappointed that Marco couldn't stay for another night, but at the same time I understood it very well. Speaking about Marco, I really wonder where he lives. He's never invited me to his home, but even though I'm curious little shit, I've kept my mouth closed. I have to be patient, he'll do it when he feels like it. Maybe he'll tell me some day what's been bothering him. Not only today, something is clearly on his mind. The picnic day, that was one of the days when I've really seen it that something is bothering him.

I straightened my feet and enjoyed the bath. The water wasn't hot anymore, it had already started to chill but it was still warm enough to make me feel good. And relaxed, that's the most important thing. I moved my other leg a little until something slimy touched it. Weird. I tried and moved my leg again and the slimy thing touched it. For the second time. That's really weird.

Wait a minute... _a slimy thing_?

"What the fuck?!"

I opened my eyes and literally jumped out of the bathtub. To my bad luck, the bottom of the bathtub was slippery and soon I was lying on the floor, my head aching because I managed to hit my head. Even though the pain was piercing, I ignored it. I sat up and pulled off the plug, watching how the tub was getting empty. There wasn't a lot of water anymore when I finally found the source of the slimy thing.

The green thing looked nasty enough that I didn't want to touch it, not with my bare hands. What even is that thing? I examined a lot until I tilted my head in confusion. I might have an idea what it is, but the next question was already in my head. What was it doing in the goddamn bathtub? Or where it came from?

I hesitated, but then I just cursed and picked it up between my thumb and front finger. I moved it closer, but not too close. I didn't want to get that nasty plant too close to my face. I stared at it, I don't know how long, but I just kept watching it like I was waiting something to happen.

It was a some kind of water plant, or more like grass-like leaf what belonged to a water plant. Probably it belonged to a bulrush. No matter where it belonged, I was speechless.

Then I just started to laugh, though it was mostly sarcastic laugh. This wasn't funny at all. But still it made me laugh.

There was a part of a fucking water plant in the bathtub. That's so weird.

* * *

"Jean.. are you sure it's okay for me to come there too? I don't know them all" Marco asked while we were waiting Sasha and Connie to pick us. He was watching me like a lost child, but I just tried to give him reassuring smile. Somehow it was cute to see Marco being so shy when it came to meeting up with new people, but on the other hand, it was strange too. He got along so well with others, why was he always so worried about it? He's cool dude, so he has nothing to worry about.

Two days ago Krista informed us that we should spend a nice evening at her house, since Ymir was back in the town too. And because she hasn't seen anyone, she was curious to know how we're doing. Or it was just her sly excuse to have a chance to meet Marco, I'm sure Krista has told her about him.

Marco wasn't at first really excited about it, since I knew there was going to be alcohol and I kinda understood that he wasn't into that kind of thing. I tried to convince him that no one was going to get wasted, at least not so badly because even though Krista's parents weren't home, she didn't want to be a hostess to a bunch of drunk monkeys. Some people were going to be a little tipsy, I knew already who were those people, but the situation would be controlled the whole time.

I managed to persuade him and he finally accepted it. Good, because if he doesn't show up, Ymir's going to dig in and scoop out everything from me. Besides, maybe she wanted to recruit Marco into her Team Freckles. After all, she likes to pull out some jokes about freckles sometimes.

"You're going to like it. It's really peaceful and there're a lot of animals. It's also in the middle of the beautiful nature", I tried to make him more excited about the upcoming things. Krista's home is away from the crowds, to be honest she lives far in the middle of the forest. Walkway there is long, but not impossible. It'll take some time.

It was a Friday night, so I wasn't surprised that Connie and Sasha were late. There must be a traffic, youth going to party and use every second of their holiday to make it feel like they're free as the birds in the sky. That's what everyone's seeking. Freedom.

While we waited them, I just talked with Marco and tried to calm him down. There was nothing to fear about, I'm sure everyone will love him. He's great person, there's no reason why he should be so scared of meeting new people. Well, Ymir can be sometimes a little cold but she doesn't mean anything bad. It's just the way she is. She's not loud like Connie and Sasha, she likes to observe on the sidelines, seeking all the information she can get until she's made her opinion. But when she's in the mood to joke, you can't tell exactly what's going on in her mind. I don't know why but she's so good at hiding most of her emotions.

Sasha and Connie finally arrived after we waited fifteen minutes more. Marco's face was hilarious when he saw Connie's little car, like he couldn't believe that we all were going to fit there. I hope he isn't claustrophobic. After convincing him enough, he believed it and we stuffed into the car. And like I said to him, we all fit into there.

The radio channel wasn't good, they were playing only the popular songs, top ten hits or something equally shitty. And most of the songs were kinda lame and something what didn't really please me. But Sasha and Connie seemed to enjoy it, so I just kept my mouth closed and let them enjoy their music. Marco stared outside the window the whole time. He didn't took his eyes off of it.

The road to Krista's home was dark, especially after the human habitation was left behind with the streetlamps. It was creepy and even scary, but I ignored those feelings. There was nothing to worry about, I was with my friends. My gaze was glued to the window and I did what Marco did. I stared at the outside the window, too.

There was a open field and somewhere in the distance were the forest. I couldn't help but try to stare at it, though I wasn't able to see it clearly because of the darkness. Somehow I've got this feeling that the forest needs a closer look up, but at the same time I didn't really want to go there. Not at least alone. And my instincts just tried to convince me that it's just better to stay away from it. Maybe I should listen to them, because instincts are here to help you staying alive, right?

I was somehow relieved when Connie turned his car to the road what lead to Krista's home. And the closer we got, the more we could see the other cars in the yard. I saw a couple of horses in the closest pasture. They were pasturing in peace, but when Connie shut down the car and we got out of it, they noticed us. Or Krista, who was already on the door, walking to the porch.

"Looks like we got a proper receiving", Connie joked when the horses trotted close to the fence and neighed, both of them looking like they were really interested about us. Me and Marco stared at the horses while Connie and Sasha were already heading to greet Krista. I kept staring at the horses because they reminded me about my nightly visitor. Well, it's been quite a long time since the last time it visited, and I hate it that I got this feeling that it's weird. It's like the horse has disappeared into a thin air, I even wonder what might be the reason to stop the visits.

My thought were disrupted when Marco nudged me back into reality. I turned my head and watched his gentle smile, his eyes almost shining bright with the sudden excitement. What happened? Just a while ago Marco was almost shitting bricks because he was so anguished and scared about what others might think about him or will others even like him. Will I ever get used to his fast change of mind? Every time they make me feel so surprised, how is he even able to do that? I have no idea.

Krista welcomed us warmly and I saw how she was more interested in Marco, though she gave me as much attention as she gave to Marco. To be honest, I started to wonder if this whole thing was organized just so that they could get to know Marco? Oh well, as long as he doesn't feel bothered and uncomfortable, I'm okay with it too.

We walked inside and at first Marco looked a little uncomfortable, but he started to relax when he saw more familiar faces. Bertholdt and Reiner were there already, sitting in the living room and chatting with Annie. On the other side of the room was Ymir, catching up things with Connie and Sasha. Connie was explaining something really fast, gesticulating at the same time. Ymir looked sometimes confused, but then sometimes she looked really amused. Whatever Connie just told her, it was successful and made her even laugh.

"Hey Jean and Marco, long time no see!" Reiner's loud voice travelled trough the babbling and even the music what was playing on the background. Marco smiled and greeted him back, but I knew he felt a little shy again. It was because both Annie and Ymir had their gazes on him and he didn't know them at all. And I can't blame him, Annie looks kinda scary because she usually has a cold expression on her face. Ymir was kinda same, though she showed more emotions than Annie.

Before anything was going to turn more awkward, Krista shoved us to sit down next to Sasha. Ymir and Connie came closer and soon they were also sitting close to us. Krista went to the kitchen, probably to get some drinks for us. I gave Marco a reassuring smile and he relaxed. I'm glad he did it, because soon Bertholdt and Reiner decided to introduce him to Annie. Marco hadn't a lot of time to sit with us before Bertholdt took him and Ymir just sat down next to me, stealing his spot.

"So what's up with Jeanbo, I heard some rumours that you got freckled babe and to be honest, I wasn't disappointed", Ymir said and smirked, she was in the mood to tease me. I could tell it, the way she approached me. Somehow it was nice to be with Ymir, since she's been on her relatives and I haven't seen even a tiniest glimpse of her.

"You couldn't even believe everything if I told you the truth. And he's not my freckled babe, he's my friend and his name is Marco. Please be kind to him, I don't want him to get traumatized by an angry lesbian", I answered, trying to tease her, to give tit for tat as much as I could. Ymir stared at me for a while all silent until her lips curled up and she laughed, playfully and gently punching my arm at the same time.

"I may be a lesbian but I'm definitely not an angry one. Or if I am angry lesbian, then you're a horseface. Do we agree or not?"

That's it. I started to laugh and she laughed too, probably making others look us like a couple of idiots. This is why Ymir is so wonderful, she doesn't take offense so easily and she even can make others laugh too. She got amazing sense of humor, or at least when she isn't making any dark humor jokes.

"Besides, why would I do something like that to him? Hey, we freckles need to stick together or else we're going to disappear, you know we freckles are extinct species? If you didn't know, now you know and remember to treat him well." Ymir smirked and then she went to kitchen, probably find out what was taking Krista so long.

The atmosphere remained relaxing and great. Marco didn't feel the need to stay close to me, he was getting along with others and I guess they liked him. Even Annie, who usually just stood out of the crowds, chatted with him for a while. That's just the magic Marco has, I can't understand why he's so stressed out about meeting new people. Maybe he's at first shy? He was kinda shy when we started to speak with each other.

At some point Eren and Armin came too, it was weird that Mikasa wasn't with them but they explained that she's been so tired after her summer job that instead of coming here, she just went straight into bed. She didn't want to let Eren come, but when Armin accepted to come with him, she finally agreed. In exchange, Armin had to take care of Eren, especially if he decided to try get wasted.

The living room was full of laughter, loud chatter and the volume level of the music had raised. An empty bottles were here and there, but even though there was quite a lot of them, no one was as badly smashed as you'd guess. There was also great number of sober people, most of them were drivers and that's why they refused the alcohol.

I was curious and so were the others, so after asking enough, Krista finally told us that her parents had went to other city, taking one of their horse to an animal hospital because it needed the proper check-up and x-rays. And besides, because their house was big enough, it was a good chance to organize this little meeting.

I didn't even question it, so I just nodded and focused on Eren. He was sorry about his behavior at the ice cream bar, but I wasn't mad to him. It was my own fault, I was tired and because of that I got easily angry over stupid things.

I don't know how I managed to hear it but my head turned immediately when I heard the meow. My gaze fell and before I even got a chance to see it, the big and fluffy cat jumped onto my lap. Oh noh, you again. "Hi fluffyball, haven't seen your for a while", I cooed and stroked its soft fur. The cat was already relaxed like a rag doll on my lap, enjoying the attention it got from me. Damn it. Do cats somehow sense the people who will be easy targets for them? If they don't, I think this cat is an exception then.

Since I was a hostage, taken by this cat, I couldn't help but let it stay on my lap and pet it like it's on top of the world. And to be honest, the cat made me feel relaxed and all the bad thoughts were slowly drifting away. I was clearing out my mind, trying to get rid of everything what's been on my mind lately.

Even though I was pretty successful, I couldn't help but let my thoughts wander to Marco. He's just done so much to me, helped me and just be there every time when I've needed someone. It's no wonder, since I've pushed others farther. I guess Marco really holds some kind of magic. Kindness? Maybe that's the trait what makes him so amazing. I've never encountered anyone who's as kind and sweet as Marco. Is he even a real human being? So hard to believe. Maybe he's a god, from the same planet where Krista's from too since she's like a real goddess.

Speaking of the devil, when Eren finally moved his ass and went to get another drink, Marco steals his seat. Eren doesn't really mind though, he just moves to somewhere else and joins to some stupidity what Connie's doing at the moment. He has his wonderful smile on his face, so I just guess that Marco is feeling pretty good too. He looks like he's enjoying and having a good time and I'm really glad about it.

"I see you got new friend", Marco says after we both are quiet for a moment. I nodded and smiled my rare toothy smile. I can't tell if he's as sober as he was earlier. I wouldn't even be surprised if someone has offered him some booze, after all he isn't going to be our driver so he can drink. Even if he's taken a glass or two, I somehow find it weird. The way he was acting before coming here gave a impression that he's not interested about getting wasted.

I guess I got lost into my thoughts, because I didn't notice how close Marco was until I felt his hot breath on my ear. All my brain could register was the fact that he was suddenly so close! And while my brain was fussing over the fact that Marco was so close, I soon realized that he actually whispered something and that's why he was there.

"You know what Jean, I think you should smile more like that. You look really good with a smile like that."

I felt myself changing into a mess, my cheeks feeling like they were on fire and even though I can't see it, I can guess how red I am right now. Marco stays close to me, but when I glance at his direction, he just smirks. He looks so different when he has that kind of mischievous smirk on his face and his eyes looks so dark, I felt like I was going to drown into them.

Maybe he isn't as sober as I imagined he would be. And there's nothing wrong about it, in fact, the way he's acting now is waking my interest. He's so confident and there's just something in his eyes what I can't even describe. They're pulling me toward him, making me feel like I just want to give him all of me. He can take me, he can do whatever he wants.

Without any warnings, the cat on my lap jumps on its feet. Everything happens so fast, I just have the time to see the sudden anger on the cat's face and how it has its claws out. It scratched its claws on Marco's hand, what wasn't even close to the animal itself. After that came the really angry hiss. Then the situation is over.

The cat jumps to the floor and runs away, still angry as hell while I just keep staring at Marco, whose hand is bleeding a lot. Marco presses his other hand on the bleeding spot, his face looking confused. I can't blame him, I have no idea what just happened. Or what made that just happen.

I noticed soon that the whole room was silent except the music coming from the stereos. Krista finally broke the silence, though you could see that she's still slightly shocked, even more shocked that anyone else.

The first words from her are apologies and she took Marco with her, taking him to the closest bathroom where they'd clean the bleeding wound.

I was again lost in my own thoughts until someone was poking me. It's Ymir. Without anything other than just "come with me", she leads me out of the house, to the porch. Fresh air, that's what I needed. I closed my eyes and just inhaled the oxygen like it was going to run out. I can't enjoy the freshness of it after Ymir lights up a cigarette. She offers me one, but I'm not in the mood.

We were both leaning against the porch's fence, staring somewhere into the distance. The horses, which greeted us so loudly earlier, had moved far away. We couldn't see them, it was dark. I had no idea what time it is, but it was probably almost midnight.

Neither of us said anything, we just stared at the yard and took care of our own business'. I sometimes watched when Ymir blew the smoke from her cigarette to the night sky. The silent atmosphere felt tense, like something was bothering her too. I hated the silence. Ymir hated it too and she finally decided to destroy it.

"Jean, I think we should talk. There's something what's buggin' me." Ymir didn't sound like she was angry. She sounded more like she was slightly concerned about something. It sent chills on my spine, I've never seen Ymir being worried like that. Or more like confused, she sounded worried but looked like she had no idea what was going on. I can't blame her, I don't know either.

I didn't say anything, just nodded as an signal that she can continue and tell me what's in her mind. She was silent for a while, lifting her gaze to the sky like she was trying to search the moon. Then she finally dropped the bomb.

"How long exactly you and Marco have known each other?"

The question made me confused. I hummed and lifted my gaze to the starry sky. "Almost a month. I met him just at the beginning of the holiday. We've been kinda inseparable since then", I answered. This whole month has been so weird. So much has happened and the July was going to start at the next week. It felt like time has flew fast.

"Okay. What's going on between you two? Are you guys dating or something? It looked like that", Ymir asked, she didn't need much time to process with my answers. I kinda liked how forthright she was, but at the same time I just couldn't understand what was her point. What she was trying to understand by asking these questions.

"To be honest, I don't know. We're good friends, I guess. It's ridiculous how close we are, even though we haven't known each other longer than a month. Almost a month." Ymir didn't say anything, but she really didn't have any chance to say anything either, because I didn't gave her any attempts to do it.

"Sometimes it feels like I've known Marco more than what I think I have. It's weird. Somehow he just feels like he's so familiar", I kept rambling. I didn't look at Ymir, but I could feel her gaze on me now. She was looking at me, maybe judging me or something. I don't know.

We remained silent, I thought her questions had already came to an end.

I was wrong.

She took her last drag from the cigarette until she stub it out and blew the last smoke on the air. Then Ymir turned to my direction, staring at me with her golden brown eyes. "I think I should warn you", she finally said after a couple of long minutes. I bet I looked confused as hell but it's no wonder, I was confused. I tried to understand what Ymir had just said but still it came out of the blue.

"Warn me? About what?" I asked, letting her see the confusion I had. She moved her eyes to the window for a moment, watching it like trying to see what was going on inside. Then her eyes came back to me and I could see there was some kind of worry in her eyes, though she wasn't the kind of person who worried about others.

"Marco seems like a good dude. But Annie and I noticed something weird. Do you have any idea how he stares at you sometimes? When Eren was sitting close to you or you were talking with someone, I saw how his gaze wandered to you even though he looked like he didn't want to show it to anyone. He kept an eye on you and his gaze... I don't like it."

"What?" was all I managed to say. That didn't help at all, I was just more confused and tried to understand what Ymir just told me. I mean, yes I felt his gaze sometimes but I didn't see anything wrong with it. And every time when I turned my gaze toward him, he was chatting with someone or doing something. I'd say that I was more like the creepy stalker, not Marco.

"I didn't mean anything bad", Ymir corrected. She furrowed her eyebrows and stared right into my eyes, like she was trying to convince me that she wasn't fooling around or anything like that. That she was serious. And she indeed looked really serious. "I just wanted to tell you. Maybe you should be a little careful, you know? Because his gaze was weird. Annie said it looked like he was watching you like he owns you. If you ask my opinion, to me, it looked like he was keeping an eye on a prey."

* * *

Ymir's words echoed in my head the rest of the time we were at Krista's house. My memories were little hazy after me and Ymir went back to inside. I remember the party continued and the cat's scratch wasn't that bad. At some point I guess I lost the control and drank more than necessary. Maybe the alcohol was just a great escape route from this strange reality.

It was late when we stuffed back inside Connie's tiny car. Connie was speaking something nonsense and half of it was some kind of gibberish. Maybe he lost his control too and took a couple of glass too much.

I found it absolutely hilarious, I laughed to his jokes and things while Sasha was just trying to ignore them. She didn't find the situation as funny as I did. She just focused on driving, trying to get us all back home in one piece.

I turned my gaze toward Marco, who was staring at the bandage on his hand. It was weird that the cat just snapped like that, but my mind wasn't interested enough to think about it. I was focused on Marco. I kept staring at him, waiting him to notice me but when he didn't, I got frustrated and pressed myself against him.

"Whatcha staring at, hmm? It ain't going anywhere, no matter how long you stare at it", I said and smirked when he finally noticed me. And I was really fucking proud of myself that I made him look at me, he pressed his other hand under my chin and stared into my eyes. "Should I stare at you instead of it?" he asked and I nodded.

"Oh fuck yes, look at me. I want to stare at you and your freckles, Ymir's ones are nothing compared to your lovely ones", I announced proudly and he just chuckled to my words. What's so funny about? I was just telling the truth.

"Shut up Jean, you're so wasted that you don't even realize it." I heard Sasha murmuring and I just snorted back.

"Nooo I'm not drunk, I'm just a little tipsy", I answered but Sasha probably rolled her eyes, focusing back to the driving. I started to give Marco all kind of compliments, like how I liked his freckles or how he was like a real, beautiful god or something. He's Venus or at least Aphrodite, that's it! He's beautiful enough to be both of them.

"Are you making out there? If you are, stop it! Not in my car", Connie slurred and whined. I moved close enough to poke him annoyingly. And I wasn't going to stop, not unless he admitted that he had beautiful god sitting at the back of his car. We even argued about it, Connie claiming that the real goddess was driving the car while I stayed at my own opinion.

We stopped our little argument after Sasha stopped the car at the side of the road and announced that she wasn't going to continue until we settled things.

"Alright, alright, this car is full of gods and one goddess!" Connie finally gave up but after hearing my snickering, he added: "Except for one horse at the back seat."

The rest of the time we stayed silent. I was very close to Marco, but he didn't look like he was bothered of it at all. There was definitely something going on between us, the way we stared at each other's eyes like our eyes were pulling us closer. The more I stared at his dark eyes (they looked even darker because it was late and some of the streetlights were turned off), the more I felt like I wanted to press myself against him and drown into his eyes.

"Take good care of him, I'm going to make sure he's still in one piece tomorrow!" Sasha said before she drove the car away and in a moment it was disappearing into the distance. We stood at the same spot where we had waited them earlier, Marco helping me keep my balance because my feet decided to not work. I slurred something nonsense to him, but he only nodded and walked me at the front door.

It took some time to search the key, at first I thought I might have left it to Krista's place because no matter how much I searched it from my pocket, I couldn't find it. When I was pulling my phone out of the pocket, intending to call Krista and ask about it, the sly key dropped to the ground. No need to make that call in the end.

I managed to open the door and we stepped inside the silent and lightless house. The first thing I did was click the lights on and start to take off my shoes, but after getting them off, I realized Marco was standing there, shoes still on. What? No, no I won't let him leave.

"C'mon Marcoo, stay with meeh." I guess it was like I was speaking to the walls, he didn't answer to me at all. He stared at the kitchen's direction and that was making me frustrated. Why did he ignore me? Nope, I will make him notice me.

I wrapped my arms around his torso like a koala, nuzzling against his chest and I smirked when his gaze fell on me. "Jean... what are you doing?" he asked, I could hear the little amusement what was in his voice. I lifted my gaze and my eyes met his. We exchanged gazes, I was mostly just admiring his eyes. They looked so innocent, but at the same time I could see something lurking in his gaze. This little particle of something that was really dark. I liked it, it was mysterious and also really hot.

I didn't answer to his question, I leaned even closer and my lips almost touched his neck. I could feel how it startled him a little bit, he probably felt my breathing on his neck.

He touched my cheek, looking like he was examining me. I liked the attention he gave me and I didn't care when he slided his hand lower, I felt it on my neck and he was caressing the spot he found really interesting. His fingers touched curiously the mark, it had already started to heal but it was still really visible.

Soon after that, he moved my head slightly, making me show my neck even more to him. I closed my eyes, letting him do what he wanted. I felt like whatever he was going to do, I was okay with it. The same warm feeling inside me was now overwhelming, it felt like we had some kind of invisible bond between us. Marco bended, getting a better view of my neck and then I felt his lips on my skin. It was brittle, like butterfly touch, but it was still there.

A low moan escaped from my mouth while the blush was taking over my cheeks. It felt so damn good. His wet and warm tongue visited on my skin, it sent shivers down my spin. His tongue passed over the bite mark, like he was trying to taste it. Why was he so interested in it? Whatever. I didn't care. Not now.

"Mah.. Marcooh.." I managed to let out of my mouth. I could feel how he just hummed in response, I had no idea how drunk or sober he was but I didn't care. I was excited over the fact that he was showing this kind of affection toward me. Maybe the warm feeling was just my pathetic heart trying to whisper me about the upcoming crush. Maybe it was some kind of love at the first sight. Is it possible?

He stops and I get a chance to take a glance of his beautiful face. Though the light isn't the best one because of the shitty lamp, I can still get a look at his eyes. They're so dark, so full of passion and other feelings. Maybe there's a little lust too, but I can't see it. Maybe my own eyes are already blinded by it. Blinded by something, though it really doesn't matter.

Marco licked his lips and the excitement was blooming in my chest, the way he licked his lips like he was going to try and take a taste of me. It made him look slightly different than what I've used to see in his character. Usually he's so sweet and gentle, but now he was more like an animal, acting on what his instincts told him to do. The duskiness in his eyes gave an impression that he was ravening. I could see how he swallowed, trying so badly to restrain himself.

I smirked slyly and he noticed it. I could pinpoint the exact moment when Marco's inner strength finally collapsed, he lost the control of the reins. He pressed me against the wall and I waited him to continue whatever he was going to do. I waited for a while, but he didn't make his next move. I was getting impatient, like always, I wanted to see how far this thing between us was going to go.

My heart jumped to my throat when I heard the neigh. At first I thought I imagined it, the shrilled neigh what resembled more like a scream. While I was startled by it, Marco didn't wince or anything. He was looking at the side, furrowing his eyebrows and at first I thought I imagined the whole voice since Marco didn't gave any kind of reaction for it. Like he hadn't even heard it. I thought my drunk mind was playing tricks, but the sound came back, even louder.

"Shit, I thought it had already left me alone", I murmured. I could see and even hear how Marco's breathing started to change, it was getting deeper and something changed in his eyes. He turned his gaze back to me, but all feelings from before were gone. They were replaced with some kind of enormous hate, some kind of deep rage. He looked scarier than the usual, safe and kind Marco. It was like I was staring at the stranger who just looked like the Marco I know.

"Marco? What's wrong?" I asked but he didn't answer at first. He let go of me and walked to the kitchen where he could see to the backyard. I was speechless, he was acting so weird and I couldn't understand why. I walked unsteadily after him and there he was, standing in front of the kitchen window and staring at the outside. When he realized I had come there, his gaze moved back to me.

"How long exactly this has been going on?" Marco asked and I was glad his voice sounded normal. The sudden anger had started to wear off and he looked more like he was back to his real self. I tried to focus and think about the horse, but my head was too blurry for that kind of thing right now.

I couldn't give any kind of answer, I sorta got lost in my own world, trying so hard to think about the subject. I returned back to the Earth when Marco walked past me, he was heading toward the back door. I was confused, but then my eyes were glued on the baseball bat he had on his other hand. The same one I had left to the kitchen that morning when I had thought that someone had broke in.

"What are you doing Marco? You can't hit it with a bat!" I yelled to him but he was already outside. I cursed loudly while I went after him. What was going on? Something's wrong with Marco, he's acting too weird. What was he going to do? If he was going to beat that horse, I had to stop him.

I managed to reach the back door and step outside. I was going to call Marco again, trying to stop him but my whole body froze after seeing the scenario.

Marco was standing in the middle of the backyard, the baseball bat on his hand and his angry eyes were staring at the forest's direction. He looked more like he was going to use the bat as self-protection instrument, not like he was going to be the first one to hurt something. His eyes were dark and predatory, they looked so soulless.

The clopping was coming from the forest's direction and when my eyes moved from Marco to the forest, I felt the cold sweat running down my forehead.

The animal was trotting across the yard, getting closer and closer to Marco. It slowed when it got close enough and Marco's grip on the bat grew even stronger. He was holding it like his life depended on it. The horse kept some distance but I saw how it pressed its ears onto its neck, showing its teeth like it was going to growl or something. It stared at him until the horse turned its head and its gaze was nailed into me. My skin was on the goosebumps and the fear was packing into my chest while I was watching the eerie-looking animal. If it'd have been my usual visitor, I'm not sure would I have a reaction like this.

It was white as sheets, beautiful but at the same time I could see the dark aura surrounding it. It was like a ghost horse, and the evilness was radiating from it. And the mare didn't look like it's here for trying to make some friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhangers, cliffhangers everywhere.  
> I am so sorry about that, no one deserves cliffhanger like this :/  
> To be honest, this chapter was kinda fun to write since it's so full questions and stuff and at the same time it doesn't even answer to them. Heh.  
> Good news are that I've already written almost half of the next chapter! And I guess it'll be finished soon or else my beta's going to kick my ass because she's so angry about the cliffhanger, whoops (─‿‿─)  
> We see at the next chapter!
> 
> Thank you for reading this chapter! I also want to thank you all for the comments you left on the last chapter. They made me really happy! I'm sorry I didn't reply to them, I just couldn't find any words. You all are wonderful!


	7. Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What's after me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloo, I'm just going to leave this new chapter here ^^"  
> Have fun ~  
> \-----
> 
> It's hiding in the dark  
> It's teeth are razor sharp  
> There's no escape for me  
> It wants my soul,  
> It wants my heart
> 
> No one can hear me scream  
> Maybe it's just a dream  
> Or maybe it's inside of me  
> Stop this monster!
> 
> Skillet - Monster

I was blinking my eyes, my mind starting to suddenly get clear like I hadn't taken any alcohol at all. No, I felt tipsy, but my mind was still clearing itself, like a steam what was exiting from my head. My instincts and awareness became sharp, the more I stared at the situation, the more aware I was. The more aware I was at the danger.

"Get away from that thing!" I yelled, without thinking about anything specific. It was the fastest reflex what I had after the white horse stared me long enough. I didn't trust it, the way it was surrounded with pure evilness. I could feel it and I knew Marco was able to feel it too, he's not stupid. Somehow I believed that Marco felt it even more than me, he was somehow a lot more sensitive when we're talking about nature and stuff like that.

He didn't move, but his gaze was on me. Both Marco and the horse kept staring at me like I was the weird one in this situation. No way, it's not me. It's the damn horse, it's better to get rid of it before anything happens. It's not friendly, no way. There's gotta be some kind of way to drive it away.

The horse's ears were pressed against its neck, it sure as hell looked really pissed off. At the same time it was threatening, but something just made it stay still. It was too close to Marco, I didn't like it. I took a couple of weak footsteps toward them. It was a mistake, the horse got angrier when I got closer. It raised its head, aware of my presence and then it showed the white teeth row. And to my horror, all of those teeth were razor sharp, one bite would do really nasty-looking wound.

My eyes widened with realization. Nasty mark.. wait a minute. My hand went to the mark on my neck, I covered it and closed my eyes. The black horse, it probably had the same kind of teeth like this new one has. What happened to the black horse? Why did this white mare appeared now and what does it want?

"Jean, don't come any closer. It'll bite if you do it." Marco's voice snapped me back into the reality and I opened my eyes, my gaze moving back to him. He looked serious and fearful, he was afraid of the situation and I really can't blame him. Of course Marco could read this better than me, he's clearly a child of nature with all of his respect toward it.

I wanted to ask him if he knew what was going or if he knew something I didn't. I didn't have any time though, the horse decided to break the calm situation, by making it even more worse than what it was. The mare rose on its hind legs, while its forelegs were striking the air, ears still pressed against its neck. There was a white foam coming out of its mouth and its gaze was on me again.

It didn't let out any kind of neighs, it was a low and sinister snarl, nothing what I have heard before. When the white mare banged its front legs back on the ground, looking like it was ready to gallop toward me, Marco moved the baseball bat right in front of the animal. The movement didn't delight the horse.

The sharp teeth clutched onto the old wooden bat, trying to wrench it away from Marco's hand. Marco had a tight grip on it, he was holding on it with both of his hands and you could see how much strength he needed to not let the animal take the bat away from him. This turned the mare's attention completely toward him and it eventually let go of the bat, like the animal had already had enough.

They were standing face to face, Marco and the horse. Its eyes were looking very cold and for the first time, the horse's ears turned forward like it had gotten curious and forgotten the anger it had just a couple of seconds ago. Marco was staring at it, keeping the bat close to his chest, ready to hit if the mare gave any kind of bad hints. It moved closer to Marco, taking its time to sniff him, its muzzle almost touching Marco's neck. After having enough of his scent, the horse backed away but still it was too close to Marco. I didn't like how close it was, that damn thing was unpredictable and it was only a matter of time before it was going to clutch those teeth into the person closest to it. In other words, to Marco.

And I wasn't even wrong, the horse showed its teeth again and raised its head, like it was trying to show him that it was bigger than Marco. Somehow it also looked like it was trying to show its dominance. I couldn't help but worry about him, I was afraid it was going to bite him and it looked like the situation was going to the direction I was afraid of. Marco stayed calm, watching the show the horse was putting up in front of him. No matter how close the mare brought its big head and teeth, Marco didn't look scared at all. In fact, he looked like the horse had no effect on him.

"Marco what are you doing? Get the hell away from it!" I yelled, but neither the white mare or Marco listened me. It was like there wasn't any kind of world around them anymore, they were just focusing onto each other. There simply wasn't anything else where they'd focus. It made me angry and the fear was just growing more inside my chest. What was even going on anymore? I had to do something or else this situation would never come to an end.

I unwillingly moved my gaze on the ground, searching something what could help me to break free from this moment. I wished I had the bat now, I could scare that stupid horse away with it. Though I think that wouldn't do anything to solve this, the mare was unnaturally tending to fight instead of running away, that much I have seen from its behavior so far. It looks more like a fighter and the way it just clutched onto the bat was proof enough. It was ready to fight if it had to.

My eyes scanned the backyard and everything what was close enough. The closest thing was a rake, leaning against the wall, usually ready to be used when the backyard was covered with leaves. Though there wasn't any leaves, the rake looked very promising and I decided to use it. I sneaked really carefully closer to the wall, trying to not wake any kind of suspicious or any reason to get attention to myself. Luckily I was successful since the mare didn't even glance at my direction, it was too busy to show its teeth to Marco. I picked it, trying to be careful and to not let any kind of sounds.

The adrenaline started to fill my veins and when I turned my gaze back to them, I felt how stressed my body really was. I was scared, I was stressed, maybe I hadn't been aware of my idea completely until now. I wasn't going to hit that horse, there's no way in hell that I'd do something like that. It wouldn't help at all if I hurt the animal and I don't want to hurt it, I just want to get rid of it.

I started to walk toward them and the closer I got, the more my breathing started to get heavy, like some kind of old rage was raising from the depths. The horse of course noticed me before Marco did, but I couldn't care. There was some kind of anger inside me, I'd feel how it was flowing beneath my skin. I was tired of horses, tired of them coming to my backyard.

"Jean, what are you doing?" Marco asked and stared at me now, but I ignored him. My eyes saw only one thing and it was the white mare, aware of my presence. It probably saw me as an threat now and it didn't take long until it was pressing its ears against its neck again, showing teeth to me.

"I am so fucking tired of you and your buddy", I almost growled when I walked closer to the horse. I know, it can't understand me but I had to do this or else I was going to stay angry. I stopped when I was facing it, almost in front of it. My grip on the rake was tight and the adrenaline kept me looking more threatening than I actually was. The horse saw it too, because after showing me its teeth, its ears were back turned forward, like the animal was examining me curiously. But only for a moment, soon they were back onto its neck again.

"What have I done to make you and that other horse coming here? What? You fuckers have even invaded my dreams. Isn't it enough already?" I kept rambling and my presence grew more threatening, the more angry I got. The horse could sense it, because no matter what kind of dark atmosphere was surrounding it, the mare decided to take a step back. It looked angry, probably as angry as I was, but it backed away. It was taking steps backward and keeping and eye on me. My grip on the rake was now getting slightly loose, I was glad that the animal was finally going to leave. I must have looked like insane, but I hope Marco understands why I am acting like this. I have to explain everything to him.

It felt like everything stopped. I had replaced Marco's place, there was only me and the horse. The world around us didn't mean anything, not even Marco, who was only a little further behind me, watching the scene. I didn't hear anything around me anymore, all I could hear was the blood flowing in my veins and my heart beating inside my chest. I was even able to hear how the mare was panting like a scared animal. It didn't look like it was scared at all, it just looked angry and ready to kick me or bite if it was necessary.

Finally it turned around and started to walk away. The walking changed into trotting and I watched how it was starting to disappear.

Then it stopped.

It stopped at the border of the forest, staying still like it was frozen. The white color of it was standing out really well when it was just standing in front of the dark woodland. The sight sent chills on my spine, everything suddenly felt even more scarier than before. Why it was just standing there, had it changed its plans? The horse raised its head toward the sky and then the air was filled with sound what sounded like a scream. My tight grip on the rake was back and every sense of mine was focused. Screaming horse, it reminded too much about that other horse.

Slowly the horse turned around and then I felt its ice cold gaze on me. My eyes widened slightly when I noticed how something had changed. No matter how far away the horse was, I saw the change. I did notice it and it made my fear grow again.

The way it was staring at me, its eyes almost shining in red. The red color really stood out against its white character and the dark background.

_Thud_

Suddenly I was lying on the grass, the rake had fallen next to me and a dreadful pain was spreading to my head. The back of my head was hurting, like something had just hit it. I tried to say something, tried to ask help from Marco but I couldn't. There was no voice coming out of my mouth and no matter how much I tried to raise my head, I always ended up pressing my cheek back to the wet and cold grass.

My field of vision started to get blurry and I my breathing got heavier. The pain was unbearable and I tried to understand the whole situation. What was going on, what had just happened and why? I got no answers. Though everything was blurry, I was somehow able to recognize the four white legs, trotting toward me. No, the damn horse is coming back.

It stopped when it was pretty close, though not because I was trying to move and escape, failing it completely. I think the reason why the mare stopped was because someone said something. I couldn't understand, the voice was as unclear as my field of vision was. Who was it and what did they say? Was it Marco?

"Marco, where are you? Help me..." I managed to let out pathetic whisper, but no one answered to me. I was scared, was there a third person? Maybe they had done something to Marco, like knockout him. Maybe this was planned attack, someone using the horse as the bait. Why would someone do that? What have I done to deserve this?

I was drifting toward the unconsciousness. It was hard to keep my eyes open, they almost had a mind of their own to get closed. The pain was now aching all over my head, it felt like I was going to die. Something dropped onto my cheek, is it going to rain tonight? No, that's not rain. It can't be. I heard the clopping again, the mare moved closer to me and then I felt how it was sniffing me. After doing that for a while, it showed its teeth but I didn't react at all. I couldn't, it was like I couldn't control my body anymore. It noticed it, because it didn't take long until the horse moved away from me.

Footsteps. Someone walked past me, I tried to see who it was but my eyes were too blurry. I couldn't see anything else except the human shaped shadow, moving next to the horse. The horse showed its teeth again, to this person who was now standing so close to it. It didn't make them wince, no matter how much the white mare tried to scare them. The horse realized it too, so it stopped and stood still. I closed my eyes for a moment, I tried to stay conscious though my mind tried to sink into the unconsciousness. I can't do that, I have to stay awake.

When I opened my eyes again, the human shaped character was now on the horse's back. The air was filled with high pitched neigh and then I could heard the clopping, moving far away. I was losing to my mind, I was going to fall asleep or unconscious, I have no idea which one was going to happen.

The last thing I managed to see before my eyes closed was the blurry sight of white horse trotting into the woods while someone was sitting on its back. They disappeared quickly into the forest.

* * *

 

The next time I opened my eyes, everything was bright. Oh so bright that I couldn't really keep my eyes open, I had to close them immediately. I breathed slowly and sometimes I took a big and heavy breaths. The cold sweat was running on my forehead even though my body felt like it was burning inside the fire. The sense of time was lost to me, I had no idea about anything. It was like I was floating in the void.

My throat felt rough, like I hadn't had water for days. My limbs were weak, I couldn't move them at all. My mind was spinning and it felt like the whole room was twisting and moving too. The reality was unknown.

This was going on for a long time, I don't know how long but it felt like an eternity itself. When the spinning feeling was finally slowing and disappearing, I was able to open my eyes again. The room was filled with light, but it didn't take long until my eyes got used to the bright light. Where was I?

I recognized everything after staring around. I was in my room, lying on my bed and the room was full of light because the curtains were not trying to block it. My breathing slowed until it was normal, my chest didn't feel anymore like something was strangling it. I turned my head and my gaze stopped at the ceiling. Raising my arm toward it, like I was trying to touch it, I came more aware of everything. My memories were hazy, I remembered something from yesterday but most of it was like the mist was trying to cover it.

I tried to get up, but the moment I was standing on my feet, a hellish pain went through my head and I had to sat down on the edge of my bed. My hands were on my head, it felt like my head was going to burst at any minute now. Most of the pain was located at the back of it, but when I run my hand there, searching the source of it, I couldn't find anything. I was expecting something like getting blood on my fingers, but there wasn't any sight of it. I even checked my pillow completely, but I didn't see any red marks. There was no blood. My head wasn't bleeding, even though it felt like it was. The pain was so hard.

My gaze was on the floor, I tried to remember yesterday but I couldn't. Something happened, I know it. I can feel it. I sighed and raised my gaze, seeing something interesting on my nightstand. My attention was on it. It was a piece of paper, someone had scribbled something on it. I tried to read it, but I couldn't. My field of vision was suddenly blurry, the text was unreadable. Or at least I wasn't able to read it because of the sudden blurry.

I was slightly afraid. Why I couldn't see it clearly? Why everything was suddenly so unclear?

I startled when the doorbell rang and then someone knocked the door. I moved my gaze away from the paper, everything was still unclear. Who's there? I tried to get up again and this time my balance didn't betray me. Though my steps were unsteady, I didn't care. I was walking like a zombie, the nausea wave bashing through my body. I felt like I was going to throw up, but I ignored it. My mind was only focusing to the one mission: going downstairs and check who's on the door.

The doorbell rang again, the person behind the door was getting impatient. I'm sorry, I can't move any faster or my balance is going to disappear. Even a snail was faster than me, my speed was very slow and I only managed to go at my room's door. Then I just had to lean against the wall and wait or I was really going to throw up. My head hurt so much and my vision wasn't getting any clearer. It was like I was walking under the water, everything was blurry and unclear. I closed my eyes and ran my hand through my hair. I wasn't going to make it, I'm sure when I finally reach the front door, the person has already left because no one opened the door for them.

I was breathing heavily again when I heard someone opening the front door's lock. What the heck? I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. I have to go to the downstairs, I have to check who's missing me right now.

"Hey Jean, are you home? Or are you just still asleep?" A voice was echoing on the house and I wanted to answer to it, but I couldn't. No sounds came from my mouth. It made me frustrated and I continued my slowly walk. The voice was familiar, I kinda recognized it but I couldn't just pinpoint it to its owner. I know it but my brain just can't progress it right now.

Finally I reached the stairs. I started to walk slowly, trying to keep my balance at the same time. Someone was walking around the house, probably searching me. They were still trying to get any kind of answer, but I wasn't able to give them what they wanted. It was probably the best just to show myself to this person. I was in the middle of my way when they were heading toward the stairs. I got startled when I heard a scream.

"Jean! Don't scare me like that. Are you al--"

My balance betrayed me and I was falling down. It felt like eternity, though it probably lasted only seconds. Then I was lying on the floor at the end of the stairs while the person was scared to death. I'm sorry about that.

Somehow my vision became clear again and I kinda woke up from the zombie-like condition. All my senses were sharp again but my head kept hurting. Can't complain about it, at least I'm lucky that I didn't hit it. Someone was fussing over me like a distressed mother. I finally recognized her. Weird, why I couldn't recognize her a couple of minutes ago?

Sasha looked so worried and so scared at the same time. She was trying to say something to me, but I kinda ignored her. I was lost in my thoughts, it had become my new annoying habit. It was just because something weird was going on, I knew it, I could feel it. The problem? I couldn't really tell what's wrong. What's the problem, what's making me feel like this.

"Jean! Can you hear me?" Sasha's yell finally snap me out of my thoughts, back into reality. I sat up while she looked like she was having a heart attack. I had really scared her with my strange behavior. Sasha was checking me with her worrying gaze, making sure I was unhurt. The fall must have looked so bad, that's why she's so nervous and scared.

"I'm okay Sasha", I tried to say but she stubbornly wanted to check me properly, just to make sure that I hadn't broke any of my bones. I couldn't help but smile slightly, I guess I can't stop Sasha when she's that worried about someone. I should feel grateful for her, she cares. "What are you doing here anyway?" I decided to ask.

Sasha was snorting indignantly, murmuring something what I didn't quite catch. I had to ask her again and this time she moved her gaze to me. "Didn't I say that I was going to come here and make sure you're okay? You were in awful condition last night, I've never seen you so spaced out. It even felt like you were high or something", she answered and then she did her last check up until she was sure everything was okay and I hadn't broken anything. "I told him to take care of you.." Sasha murmured and then she stared at me like I was alien from outer space.

"What?" I asked after having short staring competition with her. She took a glance around and I'd see how she looked like she was searching something. "I thought Marco was supposed to take care of you. Where is he, did he leave already?" Sasha asked and turned her gaze back to me. My mouth went dry, I didn't actually know.

Something was definitely wrong. I knew I drank yesterday and I was starting to get back my hazy memories from the last night. But I didn't feel like hangover, at least not as much as I was supposed to be, according to Sasha I was really tight as a tick though I can't even remember drinking that much. I couldn't help but sigh, closing my eyes for a moment and trying to recall what happened at the night. I was with Marco, we we're almost making out. Something stopped us from going further.

Then it hit me like a bolt from the blue.

Sasha examined my face the whole time and when she noticed my realization, she was trying to ask what I just remembered. I didn't hear her question, I was on my feet again and almost running to the backyard while she was left behind, calling me by my name but did I listened her? No, I didn't.

The backyard looked like nothing had happened there. There wasn't anything what'd have proved that the things what happened last night were real. The rake was where it's supposed to be, the baseball bat wasn't there. And the most important evidences were also gone. No matter how closely I watched the ground, or how I searched hoofprints, I didn't find anything. There wasn't any evidence to proof that things what I remember from the night actually happened.

I was cursing while I still tried to search something. What was going on? Have I just dreamed it, do I remember something wrong or have I just imagined those events?

I heard my name being called and it made me turn around. Sasha was standing at the back door, staring at me like she had just witnessed a murder. She looked surprised and scared, but the strongest feeling, what was showing from her was the large amount of worry. "What are you doing?" she asked but didn't even consider to come closer. Oh no, I know what she's thinking. She's probably assuming I've gone mad. I can't blame her though, I've been acting strange lately and it's understandable to be worried about my strange behavior at this point.

"Sasha, I know I'm looking suspicious right now, but something happened last night. I am trying to find anything what'd prove it was true, that I didn't imagined it", I said but I'd see that she wasn't convinced. She took a deep breath and shook her head.

"Look Jean, I've been worried about you since that morning when we found you sleeping here, at the backyard. What is going on? There's something wrong, I can see it but you're just pushing me and the others away! You're hiding things but you know what? Don't do it. No hiding anymore, please. I know you don't want to be a burden, but you have to tell if something bad is going on. That's what friends are for, we're here to help you if you need us." She sounded serious, so far from the Sasha who was usually careless and liked to prank others with Connie. But now she was here, standing at the back door and acting like a worried mother. She even looked like she might actually cry if I chose wrong words.

I sighed and walked back, stopping in front of her and just exchanged gazes with her. Her eyes were full of uneasiness and I was afraid that if she used a little bit more strength to bite her lip, it'd start to bleed soon. "Really, no more pushing us away. I don't know if you're telling your worries to Marco, but don't leave us behind. We were here before him and it's kinda rude that you're choosing him over us who have been your friends since pre-school. Can't you trust us or what's the deal?" She continued but I shook my head.

"No Sasha, don't get me wrong. I trust you and everyone else, but I can't say anything to you or anyone else. Not yet, since honestly, I have no idea either what is going on. I promise you that I'll tell everything eventually when I understand more about this thing", I answered and scratched my head.

"Is it dangerous? Just tell me or someone, we're not going to abandon you. We want to help you." Sasha kept rambling but I stopped listening her. My hand was on the back of my head and I felt how my facial expression started to change. That's it.

I finally found evidence about the last night.

Sasha had stopped her lecture and now she looked confused again, probably trying to guess what was going on in my mind. My expression had changed so suddenly but I wasn't able to hold it back. Why would I? I just found something what proved me that I didn't imagined my memories from the last night. Though it hurt a little, I could feel it. I could feel it and knew it was there, though I couldn't see it.

There was a wound, right in the spot what hurt the most. Right there where I felt the aching pain. It was there. The evidence that someone knocked me out.

* * *

 

Sasha might have got angry with me since I didn't listen to her when she was trying to make me talk with her. I was too busy with the fact that there was something to prove that my memories were true, after all.

She left but I knew she'll calm down soon. She might be sulking for a couple of days, but I know she won't stay angry for long. Maybe I should apologize to her since I was an asshole and ignored her when all she wanted was to make sure I am okay. I'm going to make up for her when all this shit is finally gone. I just need to solve everything at first.

At some point I finally remembered the note what was on my nightstand. It turned out to be a message from Marco, saying that I passed out and he made sure I got to bed. Strange, he didn't mention anything about the horse or what happened. The note just felt like it was giving me impression that the encounter with the mare was just something I imagined. No, that can't be right. There's a clear wound on my head, it's telling the other story.

What is the truth?

I was so going to ask Marco about this. He wouldn't get away, I won't accept it. I think he somehow read my mind though, because he had also left another note to the kitchen. This time he just asked if I'd see him at the park.

Don't worry Marco, I'm ready to see you, I'm going to sort out what's going on. Either you liked it or not.

I made myself as presentable as possible, I didn't want to look like shit. Though I was supposed to look bad, everyone seemed to assume I was having a bad hangover. That's weird, to be honest, since I wasn't feeling like it. My head was aching but that's it. It was strange as hell, nothing would explain it.

What was going on?

After breakfast I went back to the backyard, still looking around for other evidences. I couldn't drop the subject, I just can't. The backyard was looking like nothing weird has been happening there and it was making me angry. Was someone cleaning everything when I wasn't able to see them? Was someone trying to hide the fact that a horse, or more like two horses have been here. Two horses. Maybe the stalker theory was more real than what I had even thought about. Maybe I wasn't delusional when I felt like someone was stalking me.

I walked at the entrance of the forest, staring into it. I didn't see anything out of the ordinary, it didn't look different. But no matter how much it didn't look different, I got chills even if I thought about it. The forest didn't look so innocent to me anymore. It used to be, but after these strange things happening to me, I can't even look at it with a same gaze.

The forest was hiding something. I'm not sure what, but I got a feeling that there's something going on. Deep in it, where no one can see the ugly things. I really have to take a closer look at it. Even just standing at the edge of it, I could feel something trying to pull me into the woods. I didn't like it and I wasn't going to go there. Not today, maybe never.

My head was full of different thoughts and feelings. I was scared but at the same time I wanted to fight against whatever was waiting me. I kept staring at the forest for a while, until I had to force myself away from it. I wanted to clean my head again, my thoughts were unorganized and it was going to take some time until I've cleared everything again. I left to the park, at least there I was able to organize some of the mess inside my mind.

I was sitting on the bench and waiting Marco. I was nervous, no matter what was going to happen, I was going to ask him directly what happened yesterday after Sasha and Connie left us alone. He must know it, and if he's trying to lie or hide something, I'd see through him. I'd see if he wasn't telling me the truth.

The park was as lively as it was all the time. Children playing soccer and other games, it was nice to see that they preferred to be outside rather than just staying inside the house, playing video games all days. Maybe all hope wasn't lost, there was still kids who enjoyed outdoors. I was feeling a little bit weird, maybe because I was watching their soccer game while I waited my freckled friend. I really hope someone doesn't start to think I'm some kind of a stalker or something like that.

At some point I felt really weird, like someone was looking at me. I glanced around, but I didn't see anyone looking at my direction, or anyone familiar. No matter how much I tried to search it, I didn't find it. My eyes fell back to the kids and their game, but sometimes I glanced slightly around and tried to find the source of this feeling.

I didn't find anyone suspicious. I was even observing everyone who walked past the park, every dog owner walking with their dogs, every teenager, even the elderly people. Shit, was I becoming more paranoid than ever? That's not a good sign.

Closing my eyes was the best option. I ignored everything now and I couldn't see anything. Excellent. I was getting a little bit worried about Marco. What was taking him so long? He didn't left any time when he'd be here, but knowing him, he usually were here pretty early. Maybe he had something to deal with before coming here. I know he's going to show up soon.

The kids stopped their game and left the park. Maybe they went to eat dinner, though I couldn't care where they went. I let my mind wander and fly, it was all I could do.

I felt shitty. This thing has been going on almost a month, and I haven't been able to solve anything at all. Everything was still hiding in the darkness, I had managed to scratch it a little bit. The little scratch hasn't helped me, it has just bring up more and more questions what needs answers, but I can't get them. I'm tired of this. This game is too hard, I don't know the rules. I don't know what I have to do.

The time flew. It flew so fast that I didn't even notice it until the warm day started to change into chilly night. The children had come back, played at least two or three rounds more of their soccer and then left again, this time they weren't going to come back. It was getting dark and the street lamps were starting to light up. I checked my phone but no one's been missing me. Zero new calls, zero new messages.

Where are you?

I waited a little bit more until I finally gave up. He wasn't going to show up. With a deep sigh, I took my last glance of the empty park before I started to walk away. I felt betrayed and at the same time I was worried about him. Marco usually kept his promises, but now he just couldn't keep up with this one. Though I tried to think every logical reason why he didn't come, after all he was the one who wanted to meet me at the park. Maybe something unexpected came up and he couldn't come? He should have informed me then. But how could he, if he doesn't even have a phone?

My gaze was locked on the ground while I walked toward home. I probably looked like an angry grizzly bear, ready to beat everything what was so unlucky to get in my way.

I was in the middle of my way when this strange feeling took over my body. I don't know what it was, but it felt like I was being watched again. It was exactly the same feeling what surprised me at the park. I heard something moving behind me. It wasn't close, but it was getting closer.

Ignore it Jean. Don't look behind, just keep going.

It was hard to keep walking, I wanted to turn around and see who was behind me, who was moving closer to me. I shouldn't slow down now, I have to walk. I have to keep going.

Soon I was walking faster, keeping my gaze straight forward and not letting curiosity win. Maybe this person isn't following me, maybe they're just on their way to their own home? Or maybe I was just overreacting. Whatever was the truth, I forced myself to not look behind.

The footsteps were getting louder, like the person was speeding up, trying to catch me. I bit my lip and ignored, I can't look at them. I can't, I'm not letting myself. The footsteps started to change and at some point it was more like a horse was walking at my heels, the clopping against the tarmac was making a loud sound. Not only that, but also I could hear how it was huffing, sometimes flicking its tail like it was getting impatient.

When I felt its warm breath on my neck, I wanted to run. It was right behind me, so close to me that if I stopped now, it was going to run into me. I even could sense it, the big animal walking close to me and it was just a matter of time until it was going to do its trick, just to show me that it's here with me.

I heard footsteps coming from the front and I raised my gaze from the ground. I saw how someone was coming close to me, jogging and looking like everything's normal. I swear I could hear another huff behind me, but I was focusing on the person coming to my direction. Yes, this is it. I finally stopped below the next street lamp. Nothing touched my back, though I still had goosebumps on my skin. Now I can turn around, now I can finally see what's behind me.

There was nothing.

I shook my head and even closed my eyes, opening them again and waiting to see something. But there wasn't anything, it was just empty street. Not even a single sign of anyone or anything what has been following me. I was sure someone was there, I didn't imagine it. I scratched my head and felt stupid. Not only that, I was also feeling like I just let myself look like a big fool.

"Jean? Is everything okay?" Someone asked and I turned around. The jogger had stopped in front of me, it's not even wonder why, I must have looked like I was lost or something.

"I'm okay", I answered, though it probably was written on my forehead that I just lied. I am not okay, but I don't even know what's wrong with me. "You're going to jogging again, Thomas?"

Thomas nodded and smiled, even though I could just see that he was slightly concerned, maybe he didn't buy my lie. Judging by the way his blond short hair looked a little bit wet and glued onto his forehead, he had been jogged for a while. But he wasn't definitely on his way to his home, because he's house is very close to mine and he's coming from the direction of our neighborhood.

"Well, I better keep going before it's too dark", Thomas noted after the silent atmosphere had fallen between us. Without really thinking it, my gaze stayed on him and I stared way longer than I should have. "Where are you going jogging this time?"

He looked surprised, he hadn't expected me to be so interested about his hobby. We're neighbours, okay but we don't hang out, we just know each other from the childhood. Thomas tilted his head slightly, confused expression on his face. To be honest, he looked a little bit hilarious with that gesture. "My usual jogging trail", he answered and then he was already babbling and telling his usual paths and places where he jogged. One of the places really caught my interest.

"You're running past the park?" I asked, probably sounding like an clueless idiot. Thomas was too enthusiastic to pay attention to that, but he nodded and smiled, like he was excited about that part. "Yup, sometimes when I need or want to take a shortcut, I just run through it and sometimes even thru the edge of the forest."

Well that surely made me interested. He kept babbling about jogging but I wasn't listening him, I slowly drifted into my thoughts. But Thomas wasn't an idiot, he noticed pretty fast and then there was a tap on my shoulder.

"You want to come too? I'm sure you'd love it, jogging is good way to relieve stress and have some time alone." Thomas was like a business man, trying to give a good sales speech to me but this time it didn't work.

"Sorry, I'm going to skip this offer today. But maybe some other day." I could see how his eyes become more excited, maybe he wanted to get jogging friend. Before he left, I decided to ask him for a favor. "Could you do a favor for me? It's not a big deal, just a small thing."

Thomas nodded again, raising his eyebrows at the same time. Another thing he didn't expect from me was a favor, but if he went jogging often, he'd be the perfect one to do this little thing for me. "I don't know if you know Marco Bodt or if you've seen him with me, but if you happen to see him at the park, could you tell him to come at my house? And tell him I need to speak with him", I asked and then described as accurately as I could how he looks like. Though I'm really shitty at describing things, I pulled out my phone and I was lucky to have some random selfies there with him. Okay, I'm glad I took these photos. After showing some of them to Thomas, he nodded and told me he'd inform me if he saw Marco.

"Good. Have fun with your exercise." I even waved when Thomas was already jogging away. I don't know was that even necessary, to just pull him into this but at least I'm sure he's going to keep his eyes open. And if he happens to see Marco, he'd tell my regards to him.

* * *

 

Sunday came and went without any sight of Marco, nor did Thomas come to tell me anything. That meant he hadn't seen him either. I spent the whole day at home, waiting in case that Marco suddenly appears. I really hoped him to do it, but he didn't.

The week started normally like always, everyone else were continuing their lives without anything weird, but I was getting worried as hell. I didn't even realize how dependent on Marco I've grown to be, in a short time period. Maybe it's because no matter how messed up I can be, he somehow always understands me and helps me to continue. He knows the right words, what to say to calm me down and how to push the right buttons.

I'm worried because of the circumstances at the last time we were together. I didn't just pass out because I was drunk, something hit me hard to the back of my head. Who did it? Marco was obviously the one who had the baseball bat, but I'd never belive him to do anything like that. Geez, the guy could have hit that damn white horse when it was trying to bite the shit out of the bat, but he didn't. He isn't a violent type, I can't even imagine him being like that.

Was there someone else with us, staying aside until there was a perfect opportunity to come out of the shadows? What if Marco got knocked out first, while I was too busy to face with the mare. It's all too weird. Someone was riding that mare, I barely remember the last sight of them before passing out. Why did it have to be that dark? If only there'd have been a little bit more light, I'd have been able to see better the person on the mare's back.

I was drifting into chaos, my mind was cracking little by little after thinking so much. It was only a matter of time until it was going to get shattered into pieces. Even a tiny thought of Marco made me feel like I had to do something. I wanted to do, but I didn't know what. What can I do? I need him, I need to see his happy face and talk to him. Only he knows the events of that night.

As the Tuesday morning dawned, I was already at the edge of something. I felt sting on my chest, it hurt more than anyone could have imagined. A fragile touch could have break my sanity and mind in a moment. It was so shattered, so ready to get broken. It felt like something was missing and I did know what was missing. Who was missing. The house, the park, everything felt so empty.

I was sitting on the sofa and staring at the walls. There was so much things I should be doing, like go to buy some food or talk with other friends, but I couldn't make myself to do any of those things. All I could think was one question.

Where is Marco?

It was like he had disappeared into a thin air. There was no sight of him, I called through almost all of my friends and none of them had seen Marco since the Saturday at Krista's place. I was even at the point to report him missing to the police, but then I just had to stop and think about it. If I did something like that, they wouldn't probably even take it seriously. I didn't know a lot of him after all, I realized that. I had no idea where he was living, or any other information. I only know his name.

I had to stop thinking about him, it was feeling like the walls were already falling and nothing was clear anymore. The more I thought about things, the more my head just started to hurt. I'm overthinking like always, but this time I have a good reason for that. Who wouldn't be worried if their friend just disappeared?

My gaze wandered to the direction of the drawer where the old drawings were hidden. The urge to search and examine it more was getting stronger, but at the same time I was hesitating. Of course I could try to not think about Marco and drown myself into those strange and scary drawings, but was it really worth it? Was it really worth to make myself even more confused, at the time like this? No, it's not worth it. Maybe another day.

The empty house felt oppressive, I had to get out of there. A walk would make some wonders. Although I was supposed to go walk around the town, instead I went to the forest.

Everything was like the last time I visited there. It was bright, though treetops blocked most of the sun rays. A lot of different sounds were everywhere. Birds singing all around the forest, some little animal making noise in the bush, even the treetops soughed again. The atmosphere was magical and peaceful, it was like walking in another, different world. The reality was passing out of my mind, I was forgetting everything what was on my mind. For a moment, everything was alright.

I can agree now with people who always tells everyone to go and enjoy the nature. I felt myself relaxed, though not as much as I'd have wanted to. No matter how calm the atmosphere was or how the forest made me feel like walking in another world, something was making me to be alert.

I took a deep breath, the air in the forest was fresh and the smell of conifers was overwhelming. It was everywhere, but the scent was mixed with other earthy scents. I closed my eyes and stopped, all I did was staying still and listening the sounds of the forest and letting my imagination run free.

No matter how many times I opened my eyes and then closed them again, every time when my imagination had a chance to paint some kind of scenery in front of me, it was a lovely and calm picture of the peaceful forest and Marco standing in the middle of it, enjoying the beauty of the nature and smiling like an angel. Sometimes I even saw myself in those visions, like I was watching myself and Marco from someone else's eyes.

The images were always so happy and full of life and positive energy. Marco walking with me in the forest, sometimes one of us or both humming something or walking hand in hand. Some of the images were at the pond, some of them were at the nearby field. All the time they were located somewhere at the middle of the nature.

I smiled, I couldn't help but let the smile spread on my face. My nice relaxing time was disrupted when I heard a crack from a tree branch, it wasn't even very far. I slowly opened my eyes and waited while my eyes adjusted back to the bright light. After getting my field of vision back clear, I tried to search the direction where the sound came.

I didn't see anything or anyone. I wasn't too far from the human habitation, but I'd swear that didn't come from the direction of the houses. It was really close, though I couldn't really pinpoint where it came. I kinda waited to be faced with something, but after waiting a minute or two, nothing showed up. It was like my imagination had just played a trick to me. Maybe it had, or maybe not. I didn't want to stress or scare myself, so I sighed and continued my walking.

Though I didn't see anything out of the ordinary, I got chills. I felt like I wasn't alone here, but then again forests are full of live and it's not that weird to feel like there's someone with you. There is, the animals that are living there. But I don't think this feeling was just because I could sense them. The animals didn't give me this kind of feelings, something else was giving it to me.

Chilly breeze blew suddenly through the forest, making the treetops sough more than before. It was so cold, though today's weather has been pretty warm most of the day.

I kept walking until I felt something what I had felt before too. It made me stop, like it had made me last time. I could feel someone staring at me, keeping an eye on everything what I was doing here. It was right behind me again, lurking and waiting the right moment. It was making me nervous and scared, but at the same time tiny amount of anger was building up inside me. I was so sick of this, so tired to feel this way. If someone or something wanted something from me, why didn't they just come and take it?

With a frustration, I turned around and looked behind.

Nothing.

My gaze started to wander around, trying to search the source what was making me this uncomfortable. I wanted this to stop, to end before it was going to get out of the hand. Who can live like this? Who can live with a feeling that someone's watching you all the time? The more I got this feeling, the more I just wanted to find Marco and curl up against him, search some kind of protection from him. Normally I wouldn't feel the need to search protection from someone else, but Marco was different. He had convinced me to get close to him. It was like something in him was pulling me toward. Before meeting him, I wouldn't have even imagined that I'd want to stay close to someone more than couple of hours.

He had changed me a lot. I'm not sure if it's positive or not, but I started to realize how much I've come out of my shell after meeting him. He was breaking the strong shield around me, the one what I had built up my whole life. I never wanted to let people come too close to me, but now things were different. I've gotten dependent on him.

I need him.

I miss him.

"Marco, where are you?" I whispered, my gaze falling on the ground and before I noticed it, a single big and salty tear was already escaping from the corner of my eye. I touched carefully my wet cheek, feeling the tear on my hand. I was crying, without even noticing it. The thought about him was making me cry. The thought about how much I missed him, how much I missed his smile, his encouraging words and warm gaze.

I cursed silently, wiping my face and trying to calm myself. Deep breath, everything is going to be okay.

When the crying stopped and I managed to calm myself, I did all what I could do to find him. I walked around the forest and when I didn't find anything, I moved out of it, back among the people. I searched him from the park, but he wasn't there. He wasn't anywhere close, so I just had to extend my search and the area where to look at him.

I searched him everywhere I could even imagine he could be. I met Eren and Armin at the town, but they hadn't seen Marco anywhere. They even joined for a moment and helped me, all three of us did our best to find him.

Eren and Armin left at some point, but I was still searching him. It was probably waste of my time and energy, but I didn't care. I was going to find Marco Bodt at any cost, no one can stop me. And no one indeed stopped me.

The sun was going down when I was so tired that I just had to stop there. Some people would say that it was ridiculous how much effort I was putting this, but I don't care. I don't care what people are going to think about.

I looked around and noticed that I was close to Bertholdt's home. The area was full of houses very close to each other, like row houses. Though there was definitely a lot more people living the area than the one where I live, there was a lot calmer atmosphere. Not that many children playing, but then again it was getting dark and the time was probably very late.

Knowing Bertholdt, he wasn't preparing to go to bed any time soon. He and Reiner had basically taken the whole house in their hands, I heard Bertholdt's parents were taking a holiday trip to somewhere and he wasn't eager to go with them. Reiner and Bertholdt probably were playing something very domestic and the idea of it was enough to make some goosebumps on my skin. I hope they weren't playing anything like that, because there was no way in hell that I wanted to see it.

I saw the lights coming from the windows, he was home at least. I hope he doesn't mind my surprise visit, I just want to drink something and maybe ask if they've seen Marco today. Though my mind was giving me nasty images about what I was about to see there, I still kept walking until I was standing in front of the door and ringing the doorbell.

I didn't have to wait for long, the door was soon opened and behind it was none other than Bertholdt himself. He looked surprised and I didn't blame him, I'd be surprised too if one day he'd appear out of nowhere behind my front door.

"Jean? Oh, I didn't expect seeing you here. Hi", Bertholdt managed to say after staying silent for a moment. I'm glad I didn't see anything weird on him, I kinda expected something really odd going on here. But somehow everything just seemed to be normal, which was really suspicious. Were talking about Bertholdt and Reiner, they can be weird when they just have the right opportunity.

I explained him why exactly I was here, but Bertholdt was as understanding as always. He let me come in and just by the look of the shoe row on the floor, I knew Reiner was here too, but Annie as well. It wasn't really surprise, they were having a movie night and since Annie's always been a good friend of them, it's just logical that she's here.

Reiner was as surprised as Bertholdt had been when I decided to go to the living room and say hi to him and Annie. He was sitting on the couch and shoving some popcorns in his mouth while Annie was on the loveseat and more focused to watch tv. They were watching something what looked like a horror movie, but it was the shitty kind of. But I knew they loved to watch those kind of movies, especially since the cheap horror movies were always ridiculous and better comedy than the actual comedies.

"What brings you here?" Reiner asked when he got over the surprise. At the same time Bertholdt came back to the living room and handed me a glass of cold water, which I gratefully took and drank. He moved back to the sofa and sat down next to Reiner, giving me curious gaze as well.

"I've been looking out for Marco the whole day and if I keep on any longer, I'm going to pass out because of dehydration", I told him when I had drank the whole glass empty. It was refreshing, I really should take a better care of myself.

"You haven't find him yet? Damn, I hope he's alright. Do you want help? We could search him together." The idea of bigger group searching for him was tempting, and probably it'd be easier to find him with more than just one person to look after him, but I didn't want to disturb them or their holiday. This is my problem. Annie turned her head finally and her gaze was on me, it almost felt like it was drilling through me. Her eyes were always so cold, I've always wondered why they're like that. Maybe some people just have cold gazes naturally, I guess.

"It's alright, I guess he will show up soon. I'll still keep searching him, there's some things I need to discuss with him." I'm not sure did my words convince them, Bertholdt looked always worried when something was going on but now Reiner was looking worried too. It's not a good sign when he looks like that. He changed gazes with Bertholdt, like they were talking with each other without words. Just like Marco and I do sometimes. They have that same thing between them, they understand each other so well. "Okay, what's wrong?" I asked when I had enough of it. They were thinking something and they were hesitating to say it loud.

"You know, there hasn't been any disappearances in a long time", Annie said before Bertholdt or Reiner managed to say anything. My gaze moved toward her again, her tough gaze was too much to handle but I wasn't going to let her see how her gaze was making me uncomfortable. I wouldn't be surprised if she managed to see that, though. She has the ability to read people, at least in some level. "So? What's your point?" I asked when she didn't continue.

She was silent for a while, changing her position on the loveseat and getting herself more comfortable. Her gaze went on tv for a moment until it came back to my direction. Annie's eyes were even more colder than they had been before, but there was something in her gaze. Like it was trying to make an apology, like she was feeling sad for me. Even Bertholdt and Reiner were staring at her curiously, waiting her to finish what she had started.

"Well, I just wondered that maybe, just maybe, this is the newest disappearance case?" Her words hit me like they were physical, a real things. Bertholdt shook his head after hearing her words and Reiner looked like he had started to think about it. "Sorry, I didn't want to scare you. I've just been kinda waiting when the next case appears. I have noticed that they're like a never ending chain of disappearances." There was some point in her assuming, but I didn't want to even think about that option. That can't be right.

The heavy atmosphere fell upon us after Annie finished her assumptions. The air felt thick, or like someone was trying to choke me. The idea of Annie's assuming being the real reason of why I can't find Marco, it was just plainly horrible. I shook my head, I'm not going to believe her.

The rang of doorbell startled me and broke the heavy atmosphere. Bertholdt went quickly to open the door while we three just stayed in the living room and thought our own things. "I'm not going to believe that theory. I'll find him", I announced when I somehow managed to get myself back into one piece. Annie shrugged her shoulders and wished me luck, looking like she wasn't really sure would I be able to find him. Though I didn't want to admit it, her words were now messing my mind completely.

On my way to the kitchen, I heard a voice what belonged to an old lady. Bertholdt sounded very surprised too, and soon I caught a sight of them. An old woman, probably sixty or seventy years old, was standing in front of Bertholdt and discussing something with him. All I caught was ''what are you doing here grandma?'' and with that, I assumed that Bertholdt hadn't waited her to pay a visit here.

In the kitchen, I filled the glass with water and drank more. I should leave, I've spent enough time here. But when I was going to leave, I bumped into Bertholdt and his granny on my way. "Are you leaving already? If you want, you can stay and join our movie night", Bertholdt suggested, but I could see the pure worry in his eyes. He was worried about me, maybe about Marco too and probably about everything.

"Bertholdt, who's this?"

I felt his granny's gaze on me and to be honest, I felt myself uncomfortable again. The way her old, olive green eyes were checking me intensively just made me want to run away as fast as possible. "Oh, he's my friend. Jean, this is my grandma. Grandma, this is Jean", Bertholdt introduced us and she kept looking at me like she hadn't never seen a human before, like I was an alien from outer space. It was making me want to say something, but I didn't want to be rude. Also I didn't quite find any words what I could say.

"Well, at least he doesn't look a weightlifter like that boy Reiner", she finally said after checking me enough and there was a kind smile on her face. She didn't mean anything bad, though Bertholdt did give her unamused look.

"I'll go now. Thanks Bertholdt", I said but when I was walking past them, a hand landed on my shoulder and I swear I almost jumped, glad I didn't let out any kind of whimper or shout. It was Bertholdt's granny, stopping me in the doorway and I saw the curiosity in her eyes, but at the same time there was something else. Something I knew too well, because that same feeling had become so familiar to me. I couldn't say anything, but instead the old lady turned her gaze on Bertholdt, smiled sweetly and told that she wanted to speak with me. Alone, just only two of us. The confused expression on his face was very visible, he looked like he was trying to understand this situation. He wasn't the only one confused as hell, I was too.

Bertholdt nodded after changing enough gazes with his grandma. I think he didn't really understand what was going on and he looked like he was walking unwillingly back to the living room where others were waiting him. A tiny wave of anguish washed over me, I was left alone with this old woman I barely knew. And the gaze in her eyes, it wasn't really promising. She looked like something had scared her.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked after gathering my shattered mind into one piece again. She leaded me gently back into the kitchen and closed the door after that, at first making sure no one was trying to eavesdrop our upcoming conversation. When she was sure it was just two of us in the kitchen, she sat down and her gaze came back to me.

"That mark on your neck. Can I take a closer look at it?" Her question was about to shatter my recently patched mind into a tiny pieces again. What was wrong with this woman? My hand went automatically onto my neck, covering all what was left of the mark. It wasn't that visibly anymore, but Bertholdt's grandma stared at it like it was still fresh and visible. "What?"

She repeated her question, her gaze changing more concerned. Why she was interested, what was even going on? Everything was suddenly too weird, I couldn't even be sure was this the reality anymore. It was absurd, too strange to be really happening.

Since everything was already too weird to be real, I just did what she asked. I bent in front of her and moved my hand away, so that she'd see the spot where the bite mark was. I kept an eye on her while she was examining it. She furrowed her eyebrows, her old eyes staring at my neck for a while until something changed. A shocked expression started to form onto her wrinkly face, her eyes filling with a fear and sadness. She looked like she was seeing something extremely horrible, or something what was reminding her about things what she didn't want to think about.

"What is it? What's wrong?" I asked, my voice sounding pathetic at this point. Her gaze moved into my eyes and we stared each other. Her gray and black hair looked like it was going to change into white, like she had gotten so scared that the color of her hair would change.

"You poor child, I know that mark too well", She whispered and the goosebumps were already on my skin, the chills running on my back. She shook her head a couple of times and pressed her hands against her mouth, she was shocked. "It's after you. Oh dear lord, I knew it was the real problem here. I knew it. It's after you."

"What's after me?" My voice was shivering now, I wasn't able to keep it controlled. My heart had started to beat harder against my chest, the fear was lurking right at the back of my mind. I let my gaze fall on my hands for a moment and both of them were shaking.

She stood up suddenly and walked over to the window, staring at the outside of it. She remained silent for a long time and that whole time my eyes were nailed into her, waiting some kind of answer. Somehow I started to realize that this grandma must be the one who's been refusing to come here, like Bertholdt had told us. But now she's here suddenly, without even telling Bertholdt or his family about her surprise visit. What changed her mind?

I heard her heavy sigh and then she turned around, her gaze staring straight into my own eyes. The expression on her face was something I wasn't going to forget ever, as well as the next words she finally said to me.

"A hideous beast is after you. A monster."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know ^( '-' )^  
> All hail to my beta-reader Repesso, who read and fixed everything so fast that it took only one day to get this back. Even I was surprised how fast she was because this chapter is so full of different kind of stuff. Thank you my beloved friend, I'm so grateful about every minute you spent just to check that the chapters aren't gibberish (ɔ˘ ³(ˆ‿ˆc)
> 
> I'm sorry about another nasty cliffhanger, it just accidentally slipped there... maybe.  
> The next chapter will be updated as soon as I've finished it! ^u^  
> Thank you for reading this chapter and I hope we see in the next one! ~


	8. Something wicked this way comes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the blood festival 'cause this thing can't be stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rises from the depths of hell* Don't worry, I'm still among the livings! ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ  
> Enjoy this new chapter!  
> And beware, this is one dark chapter too!  
> \----
> 
> The windows all boarded  
> The deadbolts are all shot  
> You know you're pathetic  
> 'Cause this thing can't be stopped
> 
> While outside the sun shines  
> Your something's in your head  
> You're waiting, and waiting  
> Until you starve to death
> 
> Something wicked this way comes  
> Something wicked this way comes  
> No fights now, it's a terrorize response  
> Something wicked this way comes
> 
> Something wicked this way comes - Lordi

Time was slowly turning into a unknown thing. The feeling that my mind was separating from my body was overwhelming, I was losing the control of everything. The words echoed inside my head and everything else was meaningless. I could heard my confidence cracking, getting so weak that it was only a matter of the time before it'd be destroyed into pieces.

"A monster, huh?" I repeated and tried to sarcastically laugh, I guess I tried to pretend that I wasn't scared. But the truth is that I'm already at the edge of my sanity and the fear was soon going to be released. My attempt, however, wasn't successful. Bertholdt's granny hadn't changed the expression on her face, but my attitude wasn't really helping either. "The only monsters that exist are humans. I don't believe in ghost stories." My words were like knives, I saw how her expression finally changed. She looked more sad than worried now, like she was disappointed that I didn't want to accept her theory about what's happening here.

I have to get out of here. I muttered something about my plan to leave now and I turned around, heading toward the kitchen door.

"Wait!"

It was like a magic word. I stopped, my gaze on the wooden door and my hand already reaching toward the door knob. A normal person would have already left in this situation, but that single tiny voice inside my head told me to stay and hear what this old woman wanted to say. I really hated that little voice, but when I couldn't choose what to do, my body decided to have a mind of its own. I turned slowly around again, facing the grandma. Her gaze was on her right forearm and when she noticed that I had turned my gaze back on her, she started to lift her shirt's right sleeve. When the sleeve was on her elbow, I noticed something on her hand. Something what wasn't really that visible, but in correct angle and light, it was noticeable.

She had old scars on her skin, I wasn't sure what had done them but they looked like they'd been really awful once. I took one careful step toward her and my eyes were examining the scars like there was no tomorrow. So curiously, that it didn't take long until the pieces started to click into place. Those scars looked eerily familiar. My hand automatically reached onto my neck and when I pressed my skin, everything was clear in front of my eyes.

"Those scars. They're bite marks, aren't they?" I asked though I already knew the answer. The more I stared at the old wounds on her hand, the more convinced I became that they were definitely the same kind of like mine. She nodded and carefully pressed her other hand on the scars, hiding them under it.

"Indeed they are. They are old, but they're still here every day to remind me about the thing that almost got me. It reminds me about the people who had to suffer because of it. Because of the fact that there was a monster." Her voice sounded raspy, it was probably hard topic to her and she didn't look like she enjoyed this theme. However, she looked confident enough and when she nodded her head, giving me voiceless message to sit down, I knew she was going to tell me something what I should listen. I sat down to the closest chair, keeping my eyes on her. She stayed silent for a while, I guess she was preparing herself to visit back those memories. Memories what clearly haunted her every day. It was like tearing old wounds open again.

"It came out of nowhere, when you expected it the least?" she asked and under her staring eyes, all I could do was nod as an answer. "I knew it. The same happened to me, I never expected anything like that to happen." She stopped for a moment, sighing heavily and closing her eyes.

" _It's almost been fifty years since it happened. During that time children used to play outside all day long. Our village was tiny but at the same time very close community. There was a lot of forest areas around it, but most of the mothers told their kids to not go too far, forests were large and when the nights came, they were so dark that you didn't see anything at all. They worried that children would go there and get lost. The large areas were hard to look through, so if someone went to the forest and got lost, it was better to find them before the sunset._

 _There was a lot of children who listened what their mothers taught and said, but then there was also the ones who were too curious. The forests were better playgrounds after all._ "

My eyes kept staring at her, waiting for the grandma to continue her story. She was lost in her memories, her eyes nailed into the surface of the dinner table. I bit my lip and I was going to say something, but then she kinda woke up back into the reality and raised her gaze to me again.

" _I never wanted to go to the forest. Never, but my two brothers always wanted to go there. They took me with them and my two friends used to come with us too. At first it was just examining the edge of the forest, but the more we went there, the more deeper we started to go with our research._

_Once we went there when it was a very hot day. It was the beginning of July. I remember how we walked and walked, all of us sweaty and carrying the basket full of lunch we had packed. We had told to our mothers that we're going to swim and because we were usually so kind and obedient, there was no problems in believing our white lies. We even had our swimsuits already under our clothes._

_Suddenly when we had walked deeper than last time, we heard running water somewhere. We searched the source of it and what we found was a river. It was perfect, the best discovery we did. We ended up swimming there and when we finally went back home, mother didn't even doubt our story about going swimming._

_That night, everything changed. I remember waking up because I had very odd feeling that something weird was going on. I got up from my bed and I was going to open the window a little bit because the air in the room felt thick and hot. When I was standing in front of the window, I saw it. That time I didn't know yet that it was dangerous, how could I knew? It was the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen._ "

Her expression started to change, the little smile she had was disappearing and I noticed how her breathing begin to be more heavier than before. I turned my gaze away from her for a while, instead staring out of the window and thinking. I was curious and I wanted to hear the rest of the story, somehow her story made me succumb, I needed to know everything. No matter how much I had resisted before, now I just couldn't close my ears. "What was it?" I asked and turned my curious gaze back to her.

" _It was a horse. All white, like a mount that belongs to a prince from a fairy tale. It looked like it was a purebred, it was so different from the horses what we villagers had. I got excited, though I was at the same time very confused. What did a horse like that do in our backyard? I think I was blinded by its beauty, because silently I went to the front door and sneaked outside. The air was cold and the grass under my bare feet was wet. It had rained that night, but that didn't stop me from getting closer to that horse. It was an amazing stallion, when I got close enough, I managed to stroke its muzzle. It even lowered its head, like it wanted me to do it. It didn't stay there long though, I guess something scared it away._

_After that night, the white horse started to come to our backyard every night. I didn't want to tell anything to my parents, because I was kinda scared about what they'd do if they knew. But I did tell someone about my new friend. To my brothers, I even woke them up sometimes to come and see it. They were as speechless as I was. We didn't tell anyone else about the horse, it was our little secret and the more we petted it and spent our nights admiring it, the more unaware we were about the upcoming horrors._

_One day when we were at the forest, me, my brothers and my friends, everything seemed to be normal at first. But then out of nowhere, when the sun began to fall and it was time to start heading back to home, something happened. We were walking until we heard a neigh echoing in the forest and after that we heard how a horse was galloping toward us. The white stallion appeared and again we were amazed by its look. Then my other brother got the idea, why wouldn't we try to ride it? It looked like it was waiting that someone'd climb onto its back._

_My big brother was brave enough to do it. He climbed onto its back and soon my other brother wanted to be there as well, so we helped him to get onto the stallion's back too. They tried to get me and my friends there too, since it looked like there was still room for us. But I didn't want to, the horse was so big that I was scared of falling and hurting myself. One of my friends was the third one to climb there, but the other one was like me, too scared so we just decided to watch them. When we stood there long enough, the horse walked a couple of steps until it was already trotting. It was bouncy-looking, I wondered how they all managed to stay on its back. Or when it changed it into galloping. The horse was galloping away from us and I thought that my brother was just testing it. But they disappeared into the woods and no matter how much we shouted after them, they didn't come back. It was the last time I saw them._ "

She stopped there, because her eyes looked like they were getting full of tears. I felt how the chills were running down my back and my first thought was about that white horse what had been in my backyard. The white mare, what had looked like it was full of pure evilness. It was kinda strange, because Bertholdt's granny was talking about white horse what had looked like it was from a fairy tale. I gave her time to gather up her thoughts, I knew she was going to continue when she was ready. My eyes fell onto her arm, the scars showing again.

It took quite long time before she was ready to tell the rest of the story.

" _There was a big searches for them. All of the villagers tried to find them, but we found nothing. It was like they had disappeared into a thin air. It was horrible and I even started to see nightmares about it. But in my nightmares, the horse wasn't beautiful anymore. In fact, it didn't look like a horse anymore. It was nasty and ugly, only a shadow of something what used to be a horse. Some of its skin was missing, flesh and bones visible. It looked like a monster._

_The stallion stopped its visits for a while. We heard nothing about it, I didn't even see any sight of it until one night when me and my friend were walking toward our homes. It was already dark and we wanted to get home as fast as possible, but we got stopped by a thing we couldn't believe was standing in front of us on the dark road. The same white stallion, staring at us. This time it wasn't like a prince's horse. We we're scared, we tried to run but it followed us. We still ran, we wanted to get home and it wasn't a long way anymore. My friend tripped over the rocks. I tried to turn around and go back to help her, but the moment the horse caught her, everything went dark. And when I was able to see again, she and the horse was gone._

_I was horrified and couldn't move outside the house anymore. I started to see more nightmares and even though the villagers tried to search her, they didn't find her either. They didn't even find the horse, there was no traces of it. The whole situation was helpless, I started to feel like someone was keeping an eye on me all the time and the nightmares just started to get worse._

_When I was sure I was losing my sanity, I finally did what my nightmare told me to do. One night, I sneaked out with a flashlight my dad used if he had a reason to go and check the horses in the stable at the night. My nightmare told me to go to the forest and I did it, maybe I was just so tired and out of my mind that I was able to do something like that. In the dark forest, with only a light that came from the flashlight, I encountered with the beast from my nightmare. The white stallion came out of nowhere and changed its appearance, its skin started to tear and fall on the ground, its eyes turning into red and the sharp teeth showed to me. It looked like it was going to attack me, so my first reaction was to brought my right hand to protect me. It bit me, its sharp teeth made very ugly wounds to my hand._

_After that, the monster disappeared. It disappeared completely and I never saw it again._ "

The granny sighed and her old eyes were back on me, checking my reaction. To be honest, my reaction was very unreadable. I didn't know how to react, I just stared at her while it felt like the mark on my neck had started to hurt. It was too much.

I sat there silently, repeating the story over and over again in my head. There was too similar elements. The monster was way too similar. She wasn't lying when she told that she knew what was going on here. She had experience, she does know what is going on. It's scary to even think about it. To think about those memories, about that story. It sounded like something one would use when trying to keep children under the control, but I just knew it wasn't a fairy tale. I felt it. I could feel those terrors what she had gone through, I was going through same kind of thing.

"The monster. What is it?" I asked and my gaze was locked on her. She wasn't surprised at all, she had probably waited that question. She shook her head for a moment and looked like she was thinking something. She knew, I could see it from her expression. She had some kind of idea what it is.

"It's Kelpie, a water spirit. Sometimes it seems to be pretty angry one. There's different reasons for them to terrorize humans. Most of the time they're angry because humans are destroying their homes. Sometimes there's something else and there's even a chance that they'll randomly just pick up someone. I guess in my case, we made it angry. We invaded its home and it came back to get us all." There was a sad expression on her face. The monster got them all, or almost all.

"It didn't get you. Do you know why it stopped?" I was too curious, but I couldn't really restrain myself. There was a person who knew about the thing what's after me, I need all of the information I can get.

"The river. It run dry and disappeared. I think the monster did too, following its dear home. That's why the last time I saw it, it bit me instead of trying to do something else", she answered. I guess I had heard enough, though there was still something I didn't quite understand.

"Do you know why it bit you? Was there any kind of purpose on that?"

Before she even managed to answer, I saw some kind of answer already on her face. She looked horrified, like she remembered something. Then she calmed herself again and looked me with very calm gaze. "I've heard that if kelpie bites human, it is possibly trying to make its victim sick. I got pneumonia shortly after the bite and I almost lost my life because of it. But somehow I managed to win that disease and with that, the beast lost. I beat it by staying among the livings."

* * *

 

_The darkness was surrounding me, yet I was lying on the cold ground and staring into the distance.The sounds around me made my whole body stay still, like I was paralyzed or frozen. I didn't see it, but I could feel everything what was going on somewhere very close. I felt the despair and fear, I was even able to hear someone screaming for their life. The air was thick and hot, even though the ground was cold and my cheek was going numb._

_I wasn't really sure what was going on. Was this reality or dream? Maybe this wasn't none of those, maybe I died and went to hell. This place felt like hell. There wasn't anything else it could be. The despair, the pain, I could even feel how people somewhere were losing their hope. What did I to deserve to be here in first place? What have I done to deserve anything what's been going on lately? No one ever answers me when I want to know._

_Or maybe I deserve this after all. Maybe this is my destiny, my fate. Something what was meant to happen. I closed my eyes and listened how there were people crying. Some of them were pretty close and some of them were far away. Maybe I belong to here, it might be only matter of time until I'll join to those poor souls, crying and trying to escape this hell they've been brought into. Maybe, if I stay in this spot long enough, I'll turn into ice._

_Footsteps. Something just walked past me. I don't know, I don't even want to know what it is. It felt like my mind was at the edge of giving up. I'm going to give up, I've had enough of everything. If this is where I belong, if this is my destiny, I can't do anything to help myself anymore. I can't change such a thing. I'm not a superhuman. I'm just me, pathetic person who can't be like others. There's always been things wrong with me. I can feel how my face, my whole body has already started to shatter. It'll need only one touch and I'm going to break into pieces. I've always been broken, now I understand it._

_I feel how someone touches my other cheek, the touch is warm and very gentle. Who is it? Is it mom? Dad? Are they watching my last moments, watching how their pathetic son is soon going to break down completely? I don't know. Is it Sasha? Connie? Or even Reiner and Bertholdt? I have no idea. Whoever it is, they're doing something. I can feel some kind of positive energy going through my body, like it's washing the bad things away. Like it's repairing me, like the crack spots are healing and making me whole again. I'm not broken, I'm not anymore. Someone is fixing me, giving me the energy I need. Who is it?_

_"Don't give up."_

_At the same moment when the hand leaves my cheek alone, I open my eyes. I see a human shadow, it's backing away like it's afraid. Before the shadow decides to leave, I get up and try to get closer. Though it's only a shadow, though my eyes can not recognize it, my heart does. My heart recognizes it, no matter how much it's only a shadow._

_"Marco, is it you? I've been looking for you, tell me please where are you. I need to know." My voice sounds suddenly so weak, like I haven't talked a while. It doesn't matter. I can feel his stare but to my disappointment, the shadow started to back away again. It was like a cornered animal, wanting to escape and run for its life. It didn't take long until the shadow started to run away, but I wasn't going to let it go. I wasn't going to lose him, I need to know. My feet automatically started to run when he was trying to get away from me._

_"No Marco, wait! Don't leave me, I need you!"_

_The shadow ran into darkness and I didn't hesitate to follow it. I didn't get scared even though everything was dark, it was surrounding me. I couldn't see anything, but I stubbornly continued to run. I wasn't going to let him go. Not now, when I kinda found him. I don't know what is this place or why he is here, or why even I am here, but I'm going to find out. I'm going to get some answers._

_Splash._

_Suddenly the darkness disappeared, but everything was red. I had fallen into something, like water or other liquid, I don't really know. Luckily it wasn't that deep, so it was no problem to come back to the surfice. I tried to wipe my face clean, though my hands and my whole body was covered with the liquid I had fallen into. I got it into my eyes and it was burning, it hurt so fucking much. I was sure I was going to lose my sight, but after a while the burning sensation stopped and I was able to see again. I was staring at my hands and I could see how they were shaking badly. The liquid where I was, it wasn't water. It smelled like iron and it was red._

_Blood._

_It scared me. I looked around and realized that it was everywhere. The blood, there was so much of it. I was covered in blood and I was standing there, the blood reaching my waist. It was like I was standing in a pool or river. Instead of water, it was full of blood. I lifted my gaze up, trying to see the sky. There was no sky seen, I saw only darkness and red. I don't know where I am, but the more I see this place, the more I want to get the hell out of here._

_I don't know how, but I somehow saw that something was under the surface. I didn't want to touch it or take a closer look, but I couldn't keep my eyes away from it. It was like a dark spot on this pool of blood, whatever was under it, it wasn't a tiny thing. It looked kinda big. Kinda like a human. Then suddenly it came up to the surface and I was right. It was a human, it's lifeless eyes staring into the distance while the body was just floating. I gathered my bravery and reached my hand toward the person, but I stopped when the realization hit me. That person is dead._

_This is enough. As fast as I could, I tried to search the closest land. It was supposed to be close, but no matter how much I searched for it, I didn't find it. It was like all the land areas were gone and everything was just a big pool of blood. To my horror, more bodies started to resurface. Some of them were in a really bad condition, missing a hand or a leg. Some of them were covered in wounds and they were missing pieces like something had bite those pieces off. A few of them were even rotten. It was horrifying to see something like that. Some of them were adults, some of them were teens and there was even kids. The sight made me sick._

_I tried to run, or at least move faster. My instincts told me to get away, to escape or run. I moved as fast as I could, dodging the bodies and trying to not look at them. What is going? What is this horrifying sight? It feels like something is punishing me by bringing at first a shadow to me. A shadow that definitely was Marco. Then it made him go away and while I tried to get him back, I was surprised with this. Even thinking about what happened to those people made me feel like I wanted to throw up._

_The blood was reaching my navel already but I still didn't see any land. Though I didn't look for it anymore, I saw something what caught my interest. Not too far from me was someone standing still and his back was facing me. I didn't see his face, but I recognized him. I didn't need to see his face._

_"Thomas?" My voice was echoing around and I walked closer to the person. I saw how the other winced and then slowly turned around to face me. It was indeed Thomas Wagner, my neighbour. Even though I'm not a good friend of his, I'm still very happy to see him. I need someone right now, this place is driving me insane and to keep my sanity, I need someone to share this hell with me. Thomas looked surprised, though his gaze was odd. It was missing the typical zest for life what people had. And definitely Thomas wasn't the person to lose that so easily, he's always been full of life._

_"Jean... What are you doing here?" He asked, his voice shaking and his expression started to change from surprised to sad. I've never seen Thomas being sad, not at least that sad. There was also something else, I could see some kind of pity in his gaze. Was he pitying me? Did he know something I didn't? I need to know._

_"I don't know. What is this place? Thomas, do you know it?" I asked and waited his answer, but that never came. His gaze started to fall and soon he was just staring at the blood where we were standing. He was more covered with it than me and when I looked closer, it looked like he had some kind of strange marks on him. Like something had scratched him. "You know it, don't you? Please tell me, I know nothing and I want to know more!"_

_Thomas kept his eyes away from mine, he was trying to avoid my gaze. For a while he just shook his head and avoided my eyes, but when suddenly something started to scare the hell out of him, he moved his gaze back to me. I felt the goosebumps on my skin and at the same time it felt like someone had pour out some ice cubes onto my back. His gaze was so full of fear, like he had seen something that scared him that much._

_"I need to warn you Jean. I really need to", he said and I couldn't say anything. His fear had probably bite into me, everything started to be more creepier than before. I couldn't get any words out of my throat, so I simply nodded as an answer. Thomas probably had waited some kind of reaction from me before continuing._

_"Whatever happens, don't ever trust it. Never. If it comes to you, be careful. Don't let it fool you or it will be the last thing happening in your life. It can look innocent, but do not let its innocent look fool you. Under that innocent picture is a creature you'd never believe exist. I let it get me and now it's too late", Thomas said and then started to bite his lip. His words were like a knives which were hitting me hard. I opened my mouth and tried to say something when my attention moved from Thomas to one spot in the blood._

Something started to rise from the blood. A dark character, I couldn't really see what it was because it was right behind Thomas. But Thomas, the fear in his face didn't really change. He was afraid, but at the same time he was kinda looking like he was accepting everything what was happening. A pair of hands behind Thomas started to wrap around him, getting a tight grip of him. Whatever thing was behind him, it wasn't going to let him go. Though the hands looked like they belonged to a human, somewhere deep inside me I knew that it wasn't a human. Thomas knew it too.

_"Goodbye Jean."_

_The thing behind Thomas pulled him into the blood and they both disappeared under the surface. I took a couple of steps behind, staring at the spot where they both had disappeared. I don't know what just happened, but the new feeling that came after seeing that scene was now overwhelming. I'm not sure why but I feel like I'm not going to see Thomas ever again._

_The panic started to take over me. Something resurfaced soon like the bodies earlier, but I wanted to scream when I saw it. It was Thomas, but this time he was exactly like the bodies before. He was missing pieces of his skin and flesh, nasty wounds covering his whole face and hands. His eyes were lifeless, staring into a distance. There was nothing what would have proven that he's still alive. I knew he wasn't. I did want to go closer, but it felt like I was paralyzed. I couldn't move._

_The fear was overwhelming when I realized that something in the blood was coming toward me. I saw the dark spot, moving around and swimming under the surface. It was big and though I couldn't see it very well, I could sense how it wanted to do something bad. It wanted to hurt me. I tried to move, but my legs were staying still, not wanting to move. My brain sent them the message to move, but they didn't answer. They couldn't do anything. The black spot was getting closer and closer, it almost felt like this whole situation was a scene from Jaws or something. The predator was getting closer but I couldn't escape._

_It was so close to me that I couldn't do anything else but hope that nothing happens. Of course I was wrong. Suddenly the beast jumped out of the blood and right toward me, I could see its red eyes and sharp teeth ready to sink into my flesh and tear it apart. It opened its mouth wider and I felt how its front legs already hit me. Then I felt its teeth on my shoulder. The horse, or more like the beast, was pressing me under the surface. It had more power than me, so it managed to pull me into the blood._

_It hurts so much. I'm going to die..._

* * *

 

I have never been as happy to wake up in the morning as I was this morning. It was nasty though, I was covered in sweat and I was shaking like a leaf for a long time. I didn't do much after waking up. I kept lying on my bed and staring at the ceiling, thinking about the nightmare I had last night. Somehow it was different, but at the same time it was kinda same like the other nightmares I've had. But this is definitely the first time when there's someone else, this time it happened to be Thomas.

The thought about him made my skin go goosebumps very fast. He died in my dream. Something killed him in front of my eyes, even he knew it was going to get him. Maybe I should go to see him today, I'm worried now. Dreams aren't true, but the fact that he had that kind of fate in my dream made me so anguished and uncomfortable.

I thought about his last words. Something caught him, he said. The thing was probably the same what pulled him into the blood. And the monster what jumped in front of me, biting and pulling me there too. I'm scared now, the equine-looking monster was reminding so much about that one drawing from the nightmare period. There's something more behind that, that's for sure. I can't claim that there isn't anything weird. Something definitely has been going on around that time, and the reason of the nightmares has caused me to forget memories. Memories from that time. I need to remember, I need to dig out them, but how?

My thought were disrupted when my phone started to ring. I didn't even bother to check who's missing me, I just took my phone and muted it. If it's Sasha, she's probably wanting to speak about the last time we met. I'm not in the mood to handle that thing now, there's too much other things to worry about.

When the time started to be around afternoon, I finally got up and took a shower. I wanted to clean all that nasty sweat, it's like getting rid of the last remains of the nightmare. I didn't want to remember it, I wanted to forget it and continue living like I've never seen such an horrible thing.

I wanted to be alone. I needed to think things through and I didn't really want to have any human contact today. Most of my time went by sitting on the couch and trying to watch tv, though I didn't really pay any attention to it at all. I was so lost in my thoughts. So lost that when the doorbell rang for the first time, I didn't even hear it. But when that annoying thing rang for the second time, I finally woke up from my coma-like state and went to check out who's there. I kinda hoped it wasn't Sasha or any of my friends, I more like wanted it to be Thomas.

I was so wrong again. It wasn't any of my friends, it wasn't Thomas either. I even had some hopes up that it was Marco, but he wasn't behind the door. My gaze wandered around the two men who were standing there and staring back. The other one was tall, blonde male with a professional gaze. His blue eyes seemed to be cold, but somehow he didn't feel too intimidating. The other one was shorter than the blonde one. His hair was black and his dark eyes looked like they were judging me, even trying to get through me. I knew who these men were, or at least what's their job. But why they're here? That's the question what needs answer.

"Good evening, I am detective Erwin Smith and this is my partner, detective Nile Dok. We're sorry to bother you this beautiful day, but are you Jean Kirschtein?" The blonde one detective asked and his eyes were staring me, though his gaze wasn't trying to scare me shitless. It was more like encouraging, wanting to know things. I was wordless for a moment, it's just hard to handle the fact that there's two cops behind your door, looking for you. What a beautiful day indeed. What have I even done to get them after me?

"Yes, I am Jean Kirschtein. May I ask you why you two are here? I mean, I haven't done anything and it's kinda confusing me that there's detectives behind my door", I answered, hoping that I wasn't too cheeky. The other man, Nile, looked like he just wanted to punch me or something, he was so stiff and didn't appear to be very friendly, unlike Erwin.

"We're not here to arrest you Jean. You don't have to be afraid of us. We're working on the missing case and it seems that you're the last person who saw our missing person the last time. We just want to talk with you about that, if it's okay with you. Do you mind if we come in? It might be easier to talk while sitting down", Erwin told before Nile had a chance to open his mouth. He kinda looked a little bit angry that Erwin was faster than him, but maybe it was better. I'm sure whatever Nile would have said, it'd have made me feel uncomfortable. Erwin seemed to be more better with dealing people, so it was logical that he was the one who spoke.

At first it felt a strange idea to let them in, but they were detectives and I can't say no to them. They'd just come and bother me later, right? Whatever. But wait, they're working on the missing case? Does that mean someone has gone missing? There was different horror pictures inside my head, I'm sure they're talking about Marco. I mean, c'mon, I haven't seen him after the white mare visited my backyard. Everything is so fishy. I'm glad they're looking for him. "Sure, come in. We can talk in the living room."

All three of us sat down at the living room, Erwin and Nile sitting on the couch while I sat down to the armchair. We were staring at each other for a moment until Nile took out the photograph from his pocket, giving it to me. "Do you know this person in the picture?" he asked and observed my reaction.

My gaze fell onto the picture and when I saw the boy in it, I felt how the colour started to escape from my face. It wasn't Marco, but it was someone who I knew and had indeed seen. My hand started to shiver a little bit, I couldn't actually believe this anymore. They're working on the missing person case, I get that, but I can't register the fact that he is the one who's missing.

"I know him, he's Thomas. Thomas Wagner. He.. he's my neighbour, living right next to me." My eyes were glued on the picture. It was kinda fresh, probably it had been taken a little time ago. When I finally raised my gaze from the picture, I saw how Nile's eyes were like hawk's eyes. They were trying to get through me again, his cold gaze was making me feel really uncomfortable. It was like he was watching the most disgusting criminal on the earth, some kind of dislike in his eyes.

"He has disappeared?" I finally asked, feeling how my stomach was twisting into a knot. It can't be, that can't be true. Thomas of all people?

"Thomas Wagner disappeared three days ago, this is the fourth day he's been missing. He never returned from his jogging. We have an eyewitness who has notified us that the last time Thomas was seen, was when you were talking with him. That's why we're here", Erwin explained. I couldn't say anything, I was too shocked. Thomas never returned to his home after that. I was the last person who talked with him? I can't believe any of this. Please, this has to be some kind of sick joke. My gaze was nailed on the floor, I wasn't really able to think anything clearly. I winced when I felt a hand on my shoulder and it made me raise my gaze. My eyes met with Erwin's blue ones and his gaze was comforting, but at the same time curious. "I know Jean it's hard to understand these kind of things, but we need to talk with you since you're the last one who saw him. Can you tell us what you two were talking about?"

Wait a minute. He said there was an eyewitness who saw us. How can that be? The street was empty when we were there, I didn't see anyone else there. And there wasn't houses close to us. "You said there was an eyewitness? Who is it?" I asked curiously. If there'd have been someone, I'm sure I would have noticed. And I'm still sure as hell that there wasn't anyone.

"We can't tell that to you", Nile answered quickly before Erwin was able to say anything. Erwin glanced his partner before he turned his gaze back to me, looking a little bit like he tried to apologize. "I'm sorry but we can't reveal the identity of our eyewitness. I hope you understand, we need to protect their privacy too", Erwin commented out and kept looking at me, waiting that I'd tell them the story behind our meeting that day.

"Very well. We met by accident and started to talk. Thomas told me he was going to jogging and he recommended it to me. It was mostly him talking about how great jogging is and he told me some of the paths he used to jog." I watched how Erwin was listening very closely while Nile was writing notes into a tiny notebook he had in his hand.

"He told you his usual jogging paths, right?" Erwin asked and I nodded. He looked Nile for a while until his gaze was back onto me again, looking like he had just won a jackpot. "Do you remember any of those paths? It'd be great if you do, we need to know where he's been moving around the time when he disappeared."

I did remember them. Especially the one with park and forest was like locked into my mind. How could I forget it? It made me interested about his babbling. I nodded and told them the paths he had told me. Nile was still taking the notes, but he was listening very closely this time too.

"Is that all? Did Thomas mention anything what would have predicted the upcoming things?" I shook my head at Erwin's new question. Thomas didn't say anything like that. I've always thought his life is great, there isn't any reason that he'd have disappeared intentionally. But if someone kidnapped him, that'd explain it. I really hope Thomas isn't this town's newest disappearance case, but I'm afraid that my hopes are worthless.

Erwin and Nile nodded then, there wasn't anything else they wanted to know. "Thank you for your co-operation. It's helping our job a lot and with the information of his usual jogging paths, we know where to search", Erwin thanked and shook hands with me. Nile didn't do that, he was already heading toward the door. I was kinda relieved when they were leaving, but the tiny voice inside my head screamed that this was my opportunity. Thomas wasn't the only one disappeared after all.

"Wait, there's something more I want to ask", I said before both detectives were able to leave. Both Erwin and Nile turned and looked at me curiously, though Nile's gaze wasn't still very friendly.

"What is it?" Erwin asked friendly. I liked him, it was a lot easier to talk with him because he wasn't staring at me like he was judging everything I said or did. I'm sure Nile is as professional as Erwin, but he's lacking the ability to comfort and make people feel like it's okay to speak with them. Though at the same time it was a little bit scary, if Erwin knew how to pull the right strings, he could get out all the information from people. And without too much effort.

"I have a friend who is missing too. I haven't seen him since the night between Friday and Saturday. I've tried to search him but I haven't found anything, it's like he's been disappeared into a thin air. And let me tell you, this is not like him. I kinda asked Thomas to see if he's in the park because that's where he likes to spent time." I knew telling the fact that I asked Thomas to look for Marco would wake up their interest. And it did, I could see it from Erwin's curious gaze. Nile however didn't look that curious, it was more like he was doubting me.

"No one has reported us about other missing boy. Can you give his description, full name and the address where he lives so we can check out for him?" Erwin's words somehow made me feel better, it felt like Marco's disappearance was finally taken seriously, though I know my friends have taken it seriously too. I started to describe Marco's looks to them while Nile was again taking notes, but this time Erwin was taking them as well.

"His name is Marco Bodt and he's around my age. I don't know his address because he hasn't told me it, but I guess he might live close to the park, considering how often he is there. I don't have his cell phone number either, he doesn't have a phone", I told them and noticed how both of them stopped writing and their gazes were on me. Erwin looked confused as hell while Nile was more dubious. "He's your friend and you don't even know where he lives. That's very suspicious, have you ever thought about that?" Nile said, but there was something more in his gaze. His gaze had changed after hearing Marco's name, I can't explain how but it just changed. It was like he knew something.

They both put away their notebooks and Nile opened the door, soon walking out of the house. "I'll see what we can do. If we find out something about him, we will contact you. Thank you again", Erwin said and then he left too. I was standing right at the door, staring at the two detectives who drive away. I was confused and lost in my thoughts when I closed the door. The thing what made me really confused was the reaction how they reacted. Or more like how the other detective reacted. Nile was weird, but I'm sure he knows something about Marco. Maybe he has heard his name before? I don't know, but my instincts are telling me that Nile knows something about him.

I went back to the living room and sat down onto the couch. Nile might have some kind of information I'd really like to know. But I'm sure if I ask him directly, he isn't going to answer. And if it's something, he might want it to stay private information. Detectives can't tell secret infos after all.

It felt like my head was going to explode. Why did Nile react to Marco's name? What even was that reaction? I can't explain it or even describe it, it's just so weird. I'm so fucking curious now, but I'm not going to get that information. I know it. I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment, my head had started to ache. Is Marco criminal? No, that can't be. He doesn't act like a criminal and his personality is another one what doesn't support that. But how does Nile know him? I'm so confused right now.

* * *

 

I went through the whole day with some kind of haze inside my mind. Everything felt so surreal and my nightmare was in my mind most of the time. Was it some kind of omen? Premonition? It haunted my mind so much. The lack of knowing things made me feel like I was going to lose my mind soon. This doesn't make sense, nothing makes sense anymore.

The day was already turning into night and it was dark outside. The street lamps were turned on and they were trying to light the area. Our backyard was dark, like every other backyard here. No one was walking outside at this time, some people were probably already getting ready to bed. I felt like a stalker when I sometimes were staring from the window, straight toward the Wagner house. I felt sorry for their whole family. I could feel their pain, though I haven't seen none of them today. This must be hard especially for Mama Wagner, I know how much she's always loved her son. I was even jealous at some point to Thomas when we were young, his mom was always there and made sure he was feeling right. I can't say my mom wasn't the same, my mom was always taking care of me and loved me like every mother does, but the older I got, the more my mom started to work and the result? It's this, that I'm so much alone during their job trips. While I'm alone, Thomas has still his mother close to him and he had a chance to see her every day. It is good reason to be at least somehow jealous. He wasn't greeted by empty house.

I thought that finally my loneliness was gone when I met Marco. He grew so important to me in such a short time, but I can't blame him. I've always had some kind of friends, but to be honest, Marco is the first best friend I've had. Now that he has disappeared, I'm afraid that I'm losing him. I'm losing the best friend I've never had before. In a short time he has become so important to me that I can't even imagining the life without him. It feels like Marco has always been a part of my life. And that he belongs in my life. I really miss him and I hope he is alright. Wherever he is, it'd already be a time to show himself. He knows he's making me worried, and I don't think that he's doing this on purpose. Marco doesn't want to hurt people, he wants to help everybody.

At the times like this, I hope that I'd have met him when we were kids. I hope that we'd have grown together and have more time. It is so unfair that I met him a month ago and now he's gone missing. I thought he was going to stay in my life, so I didn't worry about the time we spent together. If I'd have known this, I'd have enjoyed every friggin' second what I had with him.

"Marco... please come back."

I sighed and went to make some evening snack. I was lost in my thoughts but somehow I managed to cut the tomato without cutting my fingers. I was making some sandwich when suddenly something stopped me. I raised my gaze from the kitchen top. The same feeling what I've felt before, it's back. I turned my gaze toward the window, though the curtains were covering it. Something's in the backyard. I feel it, I can sense it.

It has returned.

I walked toward the window and pulled the curtains away. The backyard was dark and empty, but the tiny moonlight was lighting a little bit of it. I didn't see it, but I knew it was there. It was only a matter of time when it was going to show itself. I know what it's going to do.

But this time I'm one step ahead. This time I'm holding the joker card and I'm ready to show it.

It wasn't there yet, but I already moved away from the kitchen. I went to the backdoor and opened it, taking confident steps and walking outside. It was pretty cold and I was expecting there to be some kind of wind. Usually it was pretty windy when it showed itself. I don't know if it's because of its presence or if it's just coincidence. I can't say which one is the truth, but it doesn't matter. I was ready to face it and I wasn't going to escape this time. I wanted to show that I'm not afraid of it anymore. That I know what it is, I've discovered its true nature. And if it's responsible for the disappearances here, I'll make it very clear that it's not welcome here anymore. It has never been.

I closed my eyes for a moment and took deep breaths. I'm ready for this. I'm going to do this, I have the knowledge now. Bertholdt's grandma has helped me a lot by telling her story and what this thing is.

It was quiet for a while, it felt like the whole world had gone silent. All I could hear is my own heartbeat, everything else is muted. I thought it was me, ignoring everything else around me, but then I heard the familiar sound. It was coming from the forest and the familiar clopping sound didn't scare me this time. I knew I could sense it, moving there and waiting a chance to come here. I could hear how it was panting while it was trotting closer. Sometimes I even heard how it swung its tail so hard that it sounded like a tiny tough whip. The trotting was getting slower and soon it was only walking steps before it finally stopped and the sounds were gone. Only the panting was left.

When I opened my eyes, I saw it immediately. The pitch black horse was standing in front of me, panting like it was exhausted and tired after running. My eyes kept staring at it and the grandma's story was haunting in my mind now. It was hard to believe that this horse, this beautiful horse wasn't really what it looked like. It was hard to understand what it could do and what was the nasty monster hiding under that beautiful look.

"It's been a while since you came here. Still as beautiful as always, aren't you? Where have you been?" I said and observed the horse. It didn't move, but it raised its head a little bit higher, both of its ears turned forward like it was curiously listening what I said. To me, it still looked like a normal horse. It didn't look like the awful monster what had been in my dreams. Somehow I got the urge to pet it, pet its beautiful mane and its cheek. Or its extremely soft muzzle. I really had to fight against that urge, I couldn't risk myself by starting to pet it. I tried to repeat in my mind that it's just a disguise, I shouldn't do it.

_"Don't let it fool you."_

Thomas' words from my nightmare started to echo in my head. _Don't let it fool you._ Now I'm starting to understand what he meant by that. Did... did he encounter this horse while he was jogging? Was he trying to warn me?

"I know what you are", I said suddenly and I was staring at the horse. It didn't react at all to that but instead it was trying to get its head closer to me. Because of that gesture I took one step backwards, then I stopped. No, I can't do that. I can't show it that it can still scare me. I can't let it rule my life, I'm the ruler of my life, not it. My gaze turned colder and the horse reacted to that. It looked confused, but at the same time it looked annoyed. "I know what you are", I repeated and the horse now moved a little bit, its full attention on me.

"I'm not going to let you fool me anymore. I know what you are, so maybe its time to get rid of that innocent looking disguise." I watched how its ears started to turn backwards, like it was getting angrier because of my words. I could hear how it was panting more and the stallion raised its other front leg. I don't know what it was trying to do, was it trying to kick me or what, but I didn't like how it was reacting. Somehow I had wished at the same time that it wasn't the thing I was assuming it was, but the way it was responding to me wasn't very promising.

"You are not a horse. Your true nature is ugly, you're ugly. You're a predator, a killer, a murderer. You are the beast what's been haunting me, aren't I right? You are a kelpie."

I didn't know what I had expected, but after saying the word kelpie, the horse in front of me hit its raised front leg onto the ground so hard that it scared me and there was a huge stamp on the grass. I couldn't see the black horse's ears anymore, they were backwards and pressed against its neck, almost disappearing into its neck and mane. Not long from that, it showed me its teeth. The horse was angry, very angry and if I wasn't going to be careful, it could do whatever it wanted.

"And you're not the only one. There's a white mare, I've seen it. You two are evil. You both are just nasty spirits, nothing more. Go back wherever you came from and leave this town alone. You're responsible for the disappearances. I know it", I continued, making the horse even more angrier. The horse started to walk back and forth, close to me and looking like it was ready to attack. It's sweet and innocent appearance was gone. I managed to see a thin, fog-like thing around it, it was the same kind like the white mare had when it was visiting here. I could sense that it was bad and dark aura. It wasn't exactly as bad and dark as the mare's one, the mare was more vicious and definitely more dangerous. It seemed like the stallion wanted to attack me but at the same time it felt like something was holding it. Like it was confused too, it wasn't sure what it wanted. It was angry, but something was still holding it back.

Whatever was holding it back was losing the inner battle inside of the horse. It stopped and stared at me for a while, until it turned and was coming really fast toward me, its teeth ready to catch me. I'm so gone.

"Did you kidnap Thomas?!"

I was ready to feel the sharp teeth sinking into my flesh, but to my surprise, it never did that. I had tried to protect myself with hands, but when I lowered my hands and looked at the horse's way, it had stopped right in front of me like a paused movie character. It's ears were forward again and it closed its mouth. I don't know how, but there was something else behind its reaction. It felt like the stallion was scared by now, but that's not how it is. I can't really tell what's going on, but after bringing up Thomas, the stallion was like frozen.

I got enough courage to move closer, but this time the horse was the one who backed away, keeping an eye on me at the same time. I bet there really was a reason why it reacted that way. I'm again one step ahead of it. I need to keep reins in my hands, I can't lose them to it. If it has the situation in its own control, then I'm doomed for sure.

"You took Thomas away. What did Thomas ever do to you, I wonder", I kept rambling and the reactions I got from the pitch black stallion were proving me that my words might be the truth. Bertholdt's grandma might have been right this whole time. A monster like that can do a great damage, without no one realizing its true form. This whole time everyone has suspected that there's a human behind the disappearances.

The stallion looked like it was ready to turn around and escape this situation. I wasn't going to let it go, not before I've asked my last question. It had been swirling around my mind since the horse came here, I need to see its reaction before it's too late. Before it has disappeared again. I'm sure it might not come back here again because I know its true nature now.

"There's other victims too. But there's one person I especially want to know what happened to him. And I have a feeling that you or your buddy knows why he's disappeared", I said while walking toward the horse. The stallion was backing away every time I got closer, I was controlling this situation the whole time. No matter how much it wanted to go away, I wasn't going to let it escape. "What about Marco Bodt? What did you do to him? Or did your horse friend do something because he wasn't scared of it? Did you both do together something and that's why he's nowhere to be found?"

The horse's ears were turned backwards immediately and some kind of anger was starting to fill it up. It showed it's teeth, it's sharp, monstrous teeth which were just waiting to tear apart something. The animal started to make sound what was resembling growling. It started suddenly twitch it head while its eyes were changing the colour from dark brown to bright red. It looked like it was possessed. Was it going to show me how it really looked like? Was it turning into its real form, looking like the hideous beast it is? Its head was still twitching hardly, but then it turned around and I knew it was going to try and escape.

"You are not going anywhere before I know where Marco is!" I shouted and moved even to my own surprise next to it, taking a tight grip on its mane. I could see how its other eye was staring right toward me, the red eye full of hate and anger. Soon it turned its head, showing me its teeth and looking like it was going to bite me. It didn't matter, I kept my tight grip on its mane, I'm not going to let it escape.

I didn't think about it that much, of course the horse was bigger than me and it had more strength. It broke away easily and at the same time I lost my balance. I was cursing like a sailor, hitting my fist on the grass and then sitting up. The sound of galloping was getting farther until it was gone completely. I lost this round after all. Even though I had the joker card, the horse won again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY THAT I'M THIS LATE! (╥﹏╥)  
> The reason why we missed the October's chapter is because my health collapsed completely. I got pneumonia and we thought that's it, but as you can guess, it wasn't that easy to deal with. I got two kind of antibiotics when the first one didn't help. The medicine didn't help at all and after I had suffered a whole week with that hellish pneumonia, I got hospitalized. At the hospital they found out that I got pulmonary embolism in both of my lungs with pneumonia. And I was also lacking the B12 vitamin, which is really important to your body. I spent a week in the hospital before I finally got home at the end of the October and I couldn't write immediately after gettin' home. I've been spending my time just to relax and get myself better. After resting enough, I finally got my energy back and now the chapter's finally here! 
> 
> To be honest, I missed the whole October. It's annoying me so much because I had so many plans for it as well as fic plans. Ughh but can't help it. But don't worry, I'm okay! The pneumonia is already gone and I'm eating medicine what's making my blood thinner, so the pulmonary embolism won't regenerate. And I'm getting my energy back so I'll continue the usual updating schedule! \ (•◡•) /
> 
> Thank you for your patience!  
> I hope you liked this chapter, we'll see in the next one! ^-^


	9. Where'd you go?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean starts to realize how fucked up his little problem actually is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been so long!! oAo I am SO SORRY!  
> I'll explain more things in end notes, but I still want to apologize about this silent life I've been living for a while.  
> But yeah, the chapter is now here and hopefully the next one's going to be updated faster!
> 
> This chapter is pretty creepy, so have fun with this one ~  
> \----
> 
> Where'd you go?  
> I miss you so,  
> Seems like it's been forever,  
> That you've been gone.
> 
> Where'd you go?  
> I miss you so,  
> Seems like it's been forever,  
> That you've been gone,  
> Please come back home...
> 
> Where'd you go - Fort Minor

My eyes kept staring at the forest while I was sitting on the grass. The cold night was nothing compared to the coldness what's building inside me. My head was empty, except the two words what were swarming around me, making me realize how harsh the reality is. They were telling me how I had failed miserably and how there isn't any hope that I'm going to get another chance.

_I lost._

That sentence was banging inside my head, inside my body. The more it was making its message clear, more darker everything turned. It felt like the whole world had stopped already. It was like that monster had destroyed it, and there was no way in hell that I'd be able to fix it. At the same time it was like the kelpie had taken my zest for life and escaped with it. Maybe it did, I still have no answers to my questions. I have no idea where Marco is or what even is going on. I don't know is he even alive. The idea about Marco being somewhere dead was giving me chills and knotting my stomach. I don't want to believe it. I won't accept anything like that.

It felt like I had stared one eternity to the forests direction. I was like hypnotized, not responding to the world around me. The forest was the only thing I saw, the only thing what existed in my world anymore. Like it was the forbidden place, but at the same time I knew there was answers to my questions. I could feel it, the forest was a big key. A big key what I hadn't taken yet. It was evil, bad thing even though it looked innocent. But then it was also a place what held good old memories. A beautiful and mysterious place. Behind that mysterious atmosphere it was hiding something.

I was so sick of this. I was so sick of everything, it felt like I was playing a game or something with that creature. It was toying me, that's for sure and it probably enjoyed a lot when I was suffering. I gritted my teeth, the thought of that was growing the anger inside me. If this was some kind of game, I wasn't in the mood to play it. I've had enough of this crap already. If that creature wasn't anything dangerous, I would have already ran after it. I'm sure that's what it wanted.

The night sky was getting cloudy fast and soon the first raindrops were already falling. The cold rain wasn't enjoyable, but it did something. It felt like the water was cleaning me, washing away the bad thoughts and despair, filling me with the hope of good tomorrow. I closed my eyes and spread my arms, I wanted to accept these new feelings. I wasn't going to be devastated by that fucking thing. I was going to show it that I wasn't that breakable.

When I suddenly felt like someone was staring at me, I opened my eyes and there it was. The pitch black horse, standing close to the enter of the forest, bright red eyes glowing in the darkness. If it was here to answer my call, then it was really stupid creature. Or maybe a clever one, I had no idea what it wanted, but at least I knew what I wanted. Slowly I stood up and didn't break the eye contact with it. I kept staring at it, making it very clear that I had a challenge and I wasn't going to let it go so easily.

"I'm going to make you pay for everything what you've done. I won't let you slip away so easily." I knew the horse wouldn't hear me, or if it did, I don't know would it understand me. But those were my last words for it before returning back to my house.

It kept raining the whole night.

* * *

 

The next day was bright and sunny. It was funny how beautiful the day was, even though last night was cold and rainy. People were happier than usual, or maybe their happiness was reflecting my own sorrow. I wondered how I was even able to enter to the public places. The encounter was a good enough reason to stay at home, but today instead of letting myself stay inside the empty house, I decided to go outside. Meet people, trying to get my thoughts away from this mess what's been going on for a while. I don't even wonder anymore why some people just let go and surrender to the bad feelings. I've already experienced it so many times.

The ice cream bar was full of people, it was a warm day and of course ice cream was popular at the times like that. I had my own ice cream portion, but I hadn't eaten it a lot. I tried but I just couldn't. It didn't make me feel better, but I didn't want to show my empty feelings to the people around me. I didn't want to ruin anyone's day, I didn't want to share and plant my shitty feelings to other people. They didn't deserve it.

I tried though, but I wasn't really successful. Of course Bertholdt and Reiner saw through me that something was wrong. I wasn't acting like my normal self, but they didn't really want to ask too much. I guess they thought I was still mourning because of Marco's sudden disappearing.

I felt bad to think about this, but I had already kinda started to think and feel like everything was going to get back normal again. Marco suddenly appeared in my life, so maybe it's just logical that he'd disappear suddenly too. I wished that we'd have had more time to spent together, there's still so many things what I want to tell him, or know about him. He made me feel like I'm really alive and not that useless. His warm smile made my days brighter and his gentle gaze calmed the storm inside me.

I miss him so much. I feel like an idiot because I miss him this much, I don't know a lot about him. The amount of time we had together was enough to make me feel like I need him, that he was the best friend I've been waiting my whole life. He's been the person who can make me feel complete. And the way how it felt like he understood me all the time, it really made me happy. I was happy that finally there was a person who managed to understand a big mess like me.

"So, have you heard anything about Marco?" Reiner asked after the awkward silence had been around us for a while. I could feel how he was trying to be very gentle with the things he said, choosing his words really carefully. He knew it hurt me to talk about Marco, but we couldn't stay silent about him the rest of our lives. It would be ridiculous. When I raised my gaze from the table, I was greeted with Reiner's gentle and calm eyes. I felt how Bertholdt was also looking at me, the usual sad-like expression on his face. I was really grateful that they are my friends, they can handle people pretty good in different situations.

I shook my head and sighed. The pictures from the last night came to my mind. How the horse had reacted, how it was there to challenge me. How the cops had been visited my house, how the fact that Thomas Wagner has gone missing was affecting me too. I wanted to tell them about the horse, how there was a strange creature giving me its attention but there wasn't anything I could do about it. At least I didn't know what to do and I didn't really want to put any of my friends in to dangerous situations. If that thing wanted me, it can have me. But only if it stops whatever its doing and won't touch my friends.

"I'm sure he will show himself soon. I don't think he's the kind of guy who leaves without saying anything. It felt like he really liked this place and that he'd like to stay here", Bertholdt said, obviously trying to make me feel better. He did, I knew those facts as well but hearing them from other person made them more feel like facts. Maybe it was just like he said, maybe Marco will come back after a while. Maybe I just need to give my trust to that idea.

"Marco wouldn't want to see you like that. Try to cheer up a little bit, okay? I'm sure you will see him again, don't give up your hopes", Reiner continued and smiled his encouraging smile. Bertholdt nodded next to him and smiled too. Their positive energy was catchy and I couldn't help but return a small smile back to them. Thank you Reiner and Bertholdt.

"If you say so", I answered and took a spoonful of already melted ice cream, staring outside the window and keeping the tiny smile on my face. Maybe I haven't lost everything. There is still a lot of things to keep the happiness in my life. I wasn't alone, even though it did feel like that sometimes. I still had my friends, I had already forget how great my other friends are. Maybe Marco's personality made me blind and I couldn't see the greatness of my other friends. Marco wasn't the only one who could make me feel alive.

"That's more like it!" I heard Reiner say and laugh. At the same time he patted my shoulder and then started to chit-chat with Bertholdt.

I was so into my own world that I didn't hear at first when Reiner and Bertholdt tried to get my attention again. When my gaze moved back to them, they were telling me something what I just really did not register, I was still in my own world. I felt happy, it felt so good to be happy. It's been a while.

Everything was fine until I noticed the chills on my back. Something was wrong, I sensed it. It was like someone was staring at me, with a gaze what wasn't very friendly. I turned my head and started to stare around, searching the source of this feeling. What the hell is making me feel like this? It really was like someone was staring at me, watching me all the time but at the same time making sure that I wasn't able to see them. I tried to search whoever was staring at me like that, but I didn't find anyone. The other customers in the ice cream bar were minding their own business and I didn't find anyone who'd look even slightly suspicious.

"Jean? Is something wrong?" Bertholdt asked after I had searched the possibly stalker for a while. Maybe I was getting paranoid or something, imagining things again. It wouldn't be the first time when something like that happened to me. Even Marco had witnessed how messed up I can be sometimes.

"I was sure for a moment I felt like someone was staring at me.. But I guess I just imagined things", I answered honestly. I didn't want to make them feel like something was wrong, but I couldn't hide the fact that I didn't really like the situation right now. If someone was staring at me, could they please fuck off already, I don't want to have any kind of attention from a shady persons.

Reiner looked like he was dubious, moving his gaze from my face to behind me, but what I could tell from his expression, he couldn't find any stalkers either. I've always thought that Reiner is quite good when it comes to handling strange people and just observe them, so the fact that he couldn't find any suspicious person confirmed that I was just scaring myself because of nothing.

After a while he and Bertholdt started another little chit-chat while I spaced out again. Something was eating me from the inside, at least it felt like that. Something's wrong, I could sense it. I didn't really know what wasn't right but lately everything has been weird. So maybe this is just another thing in the list of wrong things. I kept staring at the outside, studying people passing by. Even though people seemed to be extremely happy today, to me everything looked pretty colorless. Some people were probably posers, trying to look like they were happy, but inside they were broken like a ragdoll.

While exploring people, I saw a familiar face in the middle of the tiny crowd. It was one of the cops yesterday, Nile. He was staring at my direction and when he noticed that I saw him, he turned around and walked away in a hurry. That was pretty odd. What was he doing here? What if Nile was the one who had stared me all this time today? Why would he do something like that?

I was surprised, Nile hadn't looked like he was shopping or doing the usual stuff the detectives usually did. To me, it felt like he was keeping an eye on me and when he was exposed, he retreated quickly.

"I want to tell you guys something. But only if you promise me that you won't spread it, especially not to Sasha or Connie", I said and turned my gaze on Reiner and Bertholdt. They both looked surprised, I can't blame them. Usually I wasn't the one who was sharing rumors or secrets with others. At least without good reason. That's why they were looking like they had seen something unexplainable. I was staring at them silently when they didn't say anything, until Reiner decided to open his mouth. "Well what are you waiting for? Spill the beans, you know you can trust us."

I didn't even doubt about that. I knew I could trust Reiner and Bertholdt. Reiner does have big mouth but he knows when you shouldn't reveal things.  
"Two detectives visited my house yesterday", I started but was interrupted soon by confused Reiner. "What? Dude, what have you done? Two cops coming after you is a bad thing", he said with a worried tone in his voice. He was too eager to know, but didn't at first notice that his eagerness wasn't going to make me reveal my secrets any faster.

"No, they weren't after me. They came to ask some questions. Guess why?" I continued and I could see from their eyes how they wanted to know so badly the end of this little story. I shouldn't keep them waiting so long. I leaned more on the table between us and got closer to them. Reiner and Bertholdt leaned closer too, realizing that I was going to whisper the end of this thing to them.

_"Thomas has disappeared"_

"What?" Reiner almost shouted and got a couple of annoyed gazes from the other customers close to us. Bertholdt looked like he couldn't believe what he just heard. He shook his head and bit his lip, trying to register what I just told him. "Are you sure? Has Thomas really disappeared?" Bertholdt asked after the realization finally hit him hard. He still looked like he didn't believe me, but I knew somewhere deep inside he had already accepted the fact that I wasn't joking.

"You're joking, right?" Reiner asked and I shook my head.

"Nope, I'm all serious." I answered and started to explain what happened yesterday. They were listening me with concentration and didn't interrupt me at all. I was explaining things, almost whispering some of them because I didn't want to all of the people know that the detectives were at my place. There wasn't any reason to suspect me, but you can never guess what people can make up. Some stories they make up can be really messed up. I was still very curious about the identity of the eyewitness. There was no one when I was talking with Thomas that night. I'm sure about it.

Thinking about it, I remembered how I had felt back then the feeling that someone, or more like something had followed me. It had been walking right behind me, I'd almost felt its touch. But.. but it was a horse, I was sure that the steps I heard were coming from the horse's hooves moving on the asphalt. If there really was a horse, I think it wasn't an actual horse. More like that fucking kelpie what's been pain in the ass lately. It didn't still make any sense. Even if it was kelpie what was following me that night, how can detectives know that I was chatting with Thomas? I don't believe a horse has informed them about that.

"Jean are you alright? You're getting paler", Bertholdt asked when I had stopped talking. I was so lost in my thoughts again. No way, it couldn't be there that night. If it was following me, how didn't Thomas notice it? If it was actually behind me, Thomas would have seen it and I'm sure he'd have asked something about the horse behind me. He isn't blind or stupid, there was also a light coming from the street lamps, he'd have seen that horse no matter how dark there were that night or how black the horse is.

I wasn't able to answer, I did hear what Bertholdt asked but I just couldn't get any words out of my mouth. What if the whole time that creature has been observing me and because of my interaction with Thomas, it decided to attack and take him away? Why would it do that, what does it want from people? No, what does it want from me? If it was here to kill me, to kidnap me or whatever it is doing, it'd have done it already, right? I felt the goosebumps forming on to my skin, the cold shiver running down my spine.

I can't tell Bertholdt about his grandma being right the whole time. I can't tell him what's following me. Is the monster just waiting the good moment, waiting the best time when I'm all alone. Is it really that cruel?

* * *

 

I confused Reiner and Bertholdt completely by my weird behavior, but I couldn't just tell them why I am like this. How would I even tell something like that to anyone? 'Excuse me, but there's a some kind of fucking monster after me and guess what? It looks like a horse. If you see it, you won't believe what it is actually. You would just think that I'm crazy.' Nah, I wouldn't believe it either, so it's just better to stay quiet. I just hope they stick together and don't encounter with it.

With a loud sigh I was walking around the town, through the crowds and sometimes deadly quiet alleys. I didn't want to see anyone I know, so I just kept staring at the ground while walking. I hope people understand that I want to be alone, they should just mind their own business.

Why this weird shit always happens to me? The horse creature, the town with strange disappearances, lack of memories. What have I done to get all this shit? I know I'm not the best kind of person, but I haven't done anything to deserve this. Who deserves this kind of sick chain of nightmares anyway?

I found myself thinking about the lost memories from the nightmare period. Thinking about that kelpie thing, wondering will I see Marco ever again. Sometimes Ymir's words from that night were swirling in my mind. I've been thinking them a lot as well. What did she even mean? It feels like my head is full of too many questions but there's only few answers. It does feel like there isn't answers at all sometimes. I'm questioning my sanity time to time. Things are so unbelievable, can all this shit even be true? Aren't I just imagining some of this? I hope a lot that I am, it'd explain a lot of things. I want to shout, I want to scream and get even a short moment to ignore everything and be free from all of this.

I am thinking too much. I know it because my head is always at the edge of headache when I'm overthinking. I want to smash it into pieces, at least I'd have the rest I need so badly if I did that.

I raised my gaze from the ground and I couldn't believe what my eyes caught. Even though I was in the middle of crowd, I'd see that not far from my location was the person I had been searching for so long. At first I thought that I was seeing things, I thought it was some kind of hallucination or something. No, it can't be. It's him, I'm sure it's him. I can feel it, this isn't a dream.

"Marco?"

Even though I whispered his name and he wasn't close to me, it was like he heard it through this whole distance. He turned his head toward my direction and I'd see even from here that his eyes were surprised. There was something else, I noticed. Behind that surprise was sadness and even fear. He wasn't wearing the usual green hoodie he had, in fact his clothes had changed completely. He was dressed all black and grey, he was notable because of his clothes. Everyone else had less clothes than him, he was almost covered in fabric.

I took a step forward but it made him just turn around and walk fast away. There's no way in hell that I'm going to let him escape. This was starting to remind the nightmare where Thomas died. Marco had escaped from me in it, it was like that part of the dream was becoming true. I'm not going to let that happen twice, even if the first time was a dream.

I started to walk to his direction and kept my eyes tightly on him. He had his hood covering his head and he did look kinda suspicious. But at least with that I was able to not lose him on the crowds.

"Marco, please wait. I need to talk with you." I don't know did he hear me because I didn't shout, but I wasn't in the mood to get extra attention. Nile had gave me some attention today already, so no thanks. Marco was walking faster when I was at his heels, like he was trying to get rid of me. Why? Why is he escaping?

He turned to one dark alley and when I reached the shady alley, he was gone. It was like he had vanished into thin air. I know he couldn't have escaped, the dark alley didn't give any kind of possibilities for that. Where is he? Where did he go? I didn't really want to walk into that alley, but I wanted to find him at any cost. The shady alley was lot colder than the rest of the areas around it, sun wasn't able to warm it and the shadows made sure it was creepy as hell.

"Marco?" I said while walking there. My gaze wandered around and searched him, but I didn't find any traces of him or anyone here. If he was hiding, he was damn good at it. "This is not funny. Why won't you talk with me? Did I do something?" I'm sorry Marco if I did something. I don't know what is going on, but this is the most cruel thing what you can do to me. Why are you ignoring me, why are you avoiding me?

Suddenly I felt the gaze on my back, like someone was watching me. I turned around quickly and I saw him, standing far away, but still highlighting from the other people because of his clothes. How in the hell he was already there? He turned around and moved when I was trying to get closer. It was like a shitty attempt to play a tag or something. It was making me angry and confused, I didn't find this situation funny at all. But I couldn't stop, I've searched him so much, I wasn't going to let him escape before he had explained everything. I was still happy a little bit. At least he is alive.

He disappeared into another crowd and I followed him. I walked through the mass of people but then I couldn't find him anymore. Like he disappeared again, vanished without leaving any traces behind. Have I gone mad? Was this just some trick what my mind was doing to me?

I hadn't time to think about that. Though I lost Marco, I saw familiar face. Annie was talking with someone. I didn't know she had other friends than Bertholdt and Reiner, it always seemed like she was with them or alone. It was a little bit weird and it got even weirder when I saw something I didn't believe was even possible to see. Annie Leonhart, usually cold gazed Annie, smiling suddenly. What the actual fuck is going on here today?

I walked toward her and tried to see who was talking with her. The girl with light brown and curly hair, telling intensively something and sometimes grinning that cheshire cat grin what I thought was impossible to do. And shortly after that I recognized her. Oh yeah, it was the same girl I've seen before. What was her name again? Ah, Hitch. Was she friend of Annie? How did they even knew each other? Or more likely, how was she able to make Annie smile like that? She must be witch or something, casting strange spells and having that stupid grin on her face.

When I was close enough, Hitch was the first one to notice me and her grin disappeared for a moment. Her gaze moved straight toward me and after staring at me for a while, Annie turned her head and saw me as well. The smile from her face had already disappeared and it was replaced with her usual expression.

"Are you planning to be a creep for the rest of the day?" Hitch asked and then the smirk was back at her face. Annie didn't take her eyes off me and even stared at me when I finally stopped next to her and her friend. "I wouldn't say something like that with that grin of yours", I simply answered and it made Hitch just let annoyed 'tch' and mumbling something what I didn't quite caught. Not that I was even interested to know what she had said.

Before we were able to continue any kind of fight, Annie greeted me and decided to speak, I guess she sensed the tense atmosphere between me and Hitch.

"It's kinda strange to see you here. What are you doing? I thought you were supposed to be with Reiner and Bertholdt today", Annie asked and brushed her long side bangs behind her ear. I wasn't surprised that she know I had been with Reiner and Bertholdt, I was just wondering why she didn't join us? I wouldn't mind, though Annie was sometimes kinda creepy. She wasn't that talkative, at least she wasn't into chit-chatting like Reiner.

"I was, but I wasn't in the mood to stay here for long. I was on my way home when I noticed you and your friend", I answered, telling the small white lie too. Hitch probably didn't know it was a white lie, but Annie knew it. I saw it from her eyes, she immediately caught it. She knows where I live, so she also knew that this wasn't the right way. Her gaze was soon dubious, but she didn't say anything. Maybe she thought that I said something like that because of Hitch.

"I see." Was her answer. I knew I might need to explain her sometimes why I lied, but not now. Sometime when Hitch wasn't around, I didn't want her to know my personal things. Or my personal problems. The less she knew about me, the more satisfied I am. My gaze went to Hitch's direction soon, she was doing something with her phone. Texting to someone, but she noticed my gaze and her eyes met with mine. Her gaze was strange, it was so cold even though the stupid grin was on her face. The expression didn't quite match with the chills what her eyes gave me. What was her problem?

"Look, Annie, I think I need to go now. Catch you later and think about my offer. It'd be sad if I had to go there alone", Hitch said and winked. After Annie promised to think about it, Hitch didn't even glance at me anymore, she simply just turned and walked away. The atmosphere felt so strange and I didn't really trust that girl at all. She was strange and her attitude toward me was awful. Though mine wasn't any better, so I kinda understand why she's acting like a heartless bitch toward me.

Annie was going to ask me something, but I cut her words before she managed to properly even start her sentence. "I need to go, see you sometime", I said and left her alone.

I went to the direction where Hitch was walking, I think I should follow her and when she stops again, I'd ask a couple of questions. Though she's grinning weirdo,what I've understood is that she knows Marco. Maybe she knows then where he is? It's always worth to try.

I wasn't trying to be creepy or anything, but at some point she noticed that I was following her. And she didn't like that. Couple of times she glanced back and stared at me, but then she turned her gaze back forward and walked faster. I was going to follow her, no matter how much she tried to get rid of me. Eventually she was really done with me because she stopped and waited until I was standing next to her.

"Why are you following me, you creep?" she asked, her voice full on irritation and the annoyance almost shining on her face. I agree that I acted like a creep but I couldn't say that she was pure and innocent either.

"I'm not following you, this is a public walkway. I can walk here as much as I want." My clever answer didn't amuse her. She stared at me with pure irritation on her eyes, giving me the sarcastic 'haha'. She started to play with her hair for a moment, until her attention was back at me.

"What do you want?" she asked next.

"I'm sure you know what I want." Hitch rolled her eyes and snorted, looking like she really didn't know what I wanted to know. Maybe I had just underestimate everything. What was I even thinking? How could she know what I wanted, especially after I had been following her like a shady dude.

"I don't know. I feel like I wouldn't even care about it. If you're planning to follow me, don't do it. I don't like being molested. Shoo shoo", she said and made a gesture to go away with her hand. I just shook my head and took a step closer to her.

"I can feel like you know something about him. Where is Marco? Don't try to pretend unaware", I almost hissed at her. Her expression changed quickly, she looked confused for a bit until the grin returned to her face. "Why should I tell you anything about him? It's not my business to tell his or anyone else's problems", she answered, clearly proud about the fact that she knew now why I was easily going into berserk. It was all because of Marco.

I sighed and turned my gaze away from her. I didn't want to see that grin of hers, it made me just want to punch her in the face and watch how that stupid smirk would vanish away from her.

"Poor Jean, alone in this world. Maybe Marco got already tired of you and decided to get rid of you? Who knows. I can't tell for sure, I haven't seen him lately. Usually he's always with you", Hitch told me after getting enough of my cloudy mood. I didn't pay her any attention, I just wanted her to go away. If she didn't know anything about Marco or what was going on with him, I didn't want to waste my time dealing her bullshit.

It was clear that she was going to make fun of me, now that she had a reason to do it. I decided to ignore her completely. I glanced around, I was hoping that I'd find Marco somewhere in the crowds, but I wasn't getting any sight of him. It made me really wonder had I just imagined him or was he really here earlier. Did he really run away from me, like he did in my dream? How can I be even sure that I'm not dreaming right now?

I finally turned around and started to walk away, still ignoring Hitch even though she was trying to piss me off. I wasn't going to let her have that pleasure, no way in hell. Even though she can be really nasty, I won't give her any reason to think that her words can hurt me.

Hitch probably understood it very quickly because she went silent after mocking me enough. Even though I wasn't looking at her, I could feel her eyes on my back and that same, cheshire cat smirk forming on to her face.

_"It would be such an tragedy if something was after you."_

I stopped immediately after hearing her silent whisper. It was like she had whispered it right next to my ear, even though she was no close to me. That sentence made my skin go goosebumps and sent a shiver down my spine.

"What do you mean?" I asked with tiny anger in my voice, but when I turned around, Hitch was already gone. Walking far away, disappearing into another crowd. Her whisper let me wordless, I don't know was she trying to scare me and make fun of me, but whatever her sentence meant, it sure wake my fears.

What did she mean by that?

* * *

 

When the sun set and night arrived, it was dark and chilly outside. The light has disappeared fast, now only street lamps and moon lighted some areas. The moon wasn't full, but it was bright and lighted whatever it could touch. The atmosphere was eerie and it wasn't surprise that no one was walking outside.

I found myself standing at the back door and staring toward the forest. It was even creepier than before and somehow it just felt like something bad was moving around the area. I felt it, I could sense it. It was something what I didn't want to meet, especially at the time like this. I was kinda curious and waited, if the horse decided to appear. I knew it wasn't going to, not after I had exposed it, but whatever.

Different thoughts were swirling around my mind. Was it possible to catch that horse? If I'd get it caught, would it take me to wherever I wanted? Would it be able to take me where Marco is? I still had that bad feeling that Marco might have crossed the path of this monster and that's why he wasn't nowhere to be found. Even though I saw him in the town, there was something odd. He wasn't himself at all. He was acting like a stranger. I wasn't still sure was the person I saw in the town really Marco, or had I imagined it or mistaken someone to him.

After waiting enough I finally decided to believe that the horse wasn't going to pay a visit here. I don't know what I had really wanted to happen, but it was clear that it wasn't going to come here. Maybe it's planning something or maybe it has better things to do. I don't know, but I might not even want to know to be honest. It probably had bad intentions. I wasn't really into sort out what was going to happen next, but I hoped that everything had good explanation.

Hitch's words were echoing in my head. _It would be such an tragedy if something was after you._ What did she mean by that? Maybe she wanted to say something to make me feel shitty and scared, but at least she was lucky. This time it worked out.

I was going through this whole day again inside my head. Hitch wasn't the only one who was acting strange. I remember how oddly Nile was acting too. Not only today, but yesterday also when he and Erwin were here to questioning me. The way he looked at me and acted after hearing Marco's name. It indeed felt like he knew something what I didn't. And I'm sure he wasn't eager to share it with me or anyone else. Erwin looked like he didn't know the thing what Nile knew, I'm sure Erwin would have been kinda odd too if he knew.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard a knock from the front door. Who the hell is out there this late? Somehow I wasn't eager to sort out that. I walked to the front door and damn I wished that the door had a peep hole. Whoever was joking with me would be a lot easier to discover.

Instead of opening the door, I pressed my ear against its wooden surface and listened. It was quiet, I couldn't hear anything what possibly was behind it. I waited and waited but there wasn't another knock, and at the same time I couldn't hear any footsteps from anyone who'd leave after getting no answer. The thought about someone just standing behind the door was creepy.

I didn't want to make sure is there a sicko outside or not. I was not going to open this door, not at the night when there's cold and dark outside. As quietly as possible I made sure the door is locked and then I went to check the back door. Locked too. I felt immediately a lot safer now that I knew they were locked properly. Fuck you sicko, stay away from my house.

* * *

 

_When I opened my eyes, the bright light made me blind for a moment. After my eyes had adjusted enough, I watched the surroundings. It was dark and black everywhere except the spot where I was standing, it was the only spot what the light touched. I don't know where the light even came or where I was, but I felt like a prey. What was this?_

_Suddenly I felt the staring glare in me. I wasn't alone, something was hiding in the shadows. Was it the hunter? Was it the thing what made me feel like a prey. A prey what hadn't any choices left anymore. Only way to stay alive is escaping, right? But where should I go, I didn't see any hiding places and I wasn't going to hide in the shadows! That's the area what this thing is using._

_"Stay away from me!" I shouted when I couldn't come up any clever thought. I was so tired of this, tired of everything. If it wanted me, fuck it, it can have me right here right now. Maybe dying wouldn't be that bad. Or maybe the fact that this was just another dream made me act like this. This is a dream, right? Dreams can't hurt anyone. They aren't real._

_I heard the footsteps, echoing everywhere. Something was walking in the shadows, coming closer to me. I wasn't sure did I really want to see what was there, but at the same time I had a hunch about what might be hiding there._

_"What do you want from me?"_

_No answer. It was like I was speaking to empty walls. I didn't get answer, again. It wasn't anything new, I might have already gotten used to not getting any answers. Even though I was used to it, it made me still angry. I know I might have been just a fool who always thought he know all he needed, but I had already learned my lesson. Whatever was this creature's purpose, it had taught me well how it feels like to be clueless. How it feels like to be prey. You know what made me so scared of all this shit? Because I had no idea am I innocent or does this all happen because I've done something. I have no idea._

_Everything went black in a single blink of an eye. I was standing in the darkness, feeling how the coldness was sending shivers to my body. I could also feel a breath on my neck, I knew something was behind me but there wasn't any reason to turn around and try to look what it was. It was too dark and to be honest, I did not want to know._

_Something touched my cheek and made me wince. Not because it was scary or cold, but because it felt like a hand and it was warm. It was warm and calming me, almost like it was able to protect me from the things what were here with me._

_Another hand touched my other cheek and I could sense how someone was standing in front of me and watching. Then I felt something touching my forehead and I finally realized what it was. It was another person, pressing their own forehead against mine. Now I felt their breath too, calm and warm breath._

_"Jean..." The familiar voice said my name and I recognized the person immediately. This was somehow new. I didn't mind though, I felt how my loneliness was leaving me. He was here with me. I even hoped that this was reality instead of a dream. I wouldn't even mind if I'd stay in this dream forever, nothing matters as long as he is here with me. As long as I don't have to stay away._

_"Where are you? I've been looking for you so much. Give me a sign already, I'm losing my hope", I managed to say, but he shushed me. I felt the other hand moving from my cheek and then I felt his finger against my lips, like he was trying to make me stay silent._

_"I'm so sorry", he said and I could hear the sadness in his voice. It made me sad too, I didn't understand why he was apologizing. He repeated his words and I just shook my head._

_"Marco, I don't understand any of this. Please, just come back. I can't live without you, you're so important to me", I said when I got the chance. His arms moved and soon he was wrapping his hands around me, hugging me tightly and shook his head._

_"That's why I'm so sorry about."_

_I didn't understand. The next thing I noticed was that something warm and wet was running down his cheek. Was he crying? Why? I felt helpless, I didn't know what was going on or what he tried to say to me._

_I was staring into the darkness and then I noticed how two red eyes appeared out of nowhere. They were staring at us and I could sense that Marco felt the gaze too. He knew that something was staring, but he didn't give it any attention, more like he was just ignoring the whole thing._

_Marco let go of me after a while but I felt his gaze still on me. Then he took both of my hands hand held them._

_"Jean", he said my name and I tilted my head. His voice was now more serious, it changed fast. His grip on my hands tighten and his whole attitude had a different vibes. He was becoming extremely conscious about something, while I didn't know what to fear the most. And to be honest, my attention had been on the red eyes, I just couldn't get my eyes off of them. They were somehow dangerous. Or I don't know were they dangerous, more like bad omen._

_"Jean, listen to me." Marco started to be a little more serious and I finally snapped out of whatever was going on my mind, my eyes moving into his direction. My eyes had already adjusted into the darkness, I was able to see his shape in the dark, nothing else. But that's okay, it's enough for me._

_"What?" I asked, confused as hell but at the same time giving him the message that I noticed him now again._

_"You have to wake up. Immediately, right now", he said and shit hit the fan totally. I felt like the ground below me was going to collapse, what the hell was he talking about?_

_"You have to! Trust me, you have to wake up now" He repeated._

_"Why? What is going on Marco?" I asked, but he already let go of my hands, moving his owns to my shoulders and shaking me a little bit._

_"You're in danger."_

* * *

 

I woke up in the dark room, it was already past midnight and the only source of light was the moonlight from outside, between the curtains. I was covered with sweat, like I usually was after nightmare. This time it was different though. The dream, it was creepy but at the same time I didn't find it as scary and creepy as my nightmares usually were. Everything was weird.

I wasn't sure what woke me up, but the dream was bothering me. I'm sure it's just some kind of paranoia after that kind of dream what made me feel uncomfortable. The house was quiet and when I took a quick look at the clock, it was only 2 am.

I pressed my head back onto the pillow and tried to sleep. I couldn't, even though I felt like I was still tired as hell, I couldn't get back to sleep. I was feeling too uncomfortable. I still blamed it was just some paranoia what almost made my veins full in adrenaline, some kind of post-delusion what my mind had come up with. I was taking deep breaths, trying to calm myself but I couldn't shake the feel that something wasn't right. When I tried to figure out different reasons why it was unnecessary to feel this way, the urge to peek outside grew bigger.

After a while I finally gave up and stood up. My eyes had already adjusted to the darkness, but that wasn't really necessary because I could see at least something outside, the moonlight lighted some areas.

I was stopped when I heard a blood-curdling scream somewhere, coming deep in the forest. It was kinda muffled, but then it was somehow clear. It didn't make any sense, but nothing made sense anymore to me. Another sound came from the forest, this time it was bone-chilling cry. It was hard to describe it, at first it sounded like a human, but then I assumed it was far away from anything what human could let out.

At this point I was sure something was outside the house. I didn't hear anything after the two screams from the forest, but my instincts told me to be careful. Even told me to get safe. It was absurd, I had to pinch myself to make sure that I wasn't still asleep. The sounds were like something right from my nightmares, so horrifying and scary. Something wasn't right, I could feel it.

Carefully I took a peek out of the window, trying to not move the curtains too much. I didn't want anything to realize that I was watching it, I wasn't sure what was outside. I had a small assumption what it could be, but still I wished that my gut feeling wasn't right.

The backyard was mostly lighted, though there was a lot of shadows around it. I tried to look closely and see if something was there, but I didn't see anything. The backyard was empty as well as the neighbour backyard. Still my instincts told me I wasn't alone and that I shouldn't trust my sight at the moment. I was almost fully sure I had imagined it, when I noticed a shadow what moved behind the corner of the house, into the darkness that I couldn't see it no longer.

It sent shivers down my spine, whatever it was, it really crept me out. The horror didn't end there, the next thing my eyes caught was another shadowy figure, though it was also hiding in the shadows like it was trying to avoid any spots where the moon's light touched. I didn't get enough view from the figure, but the thing what I noticed about it was its bluish eyes, glowing and staring at the house.

I got away from the windows, backing against the closet. My head turned toward my room's door when I heard something. The noise was coming from the first floor, it was like someone was trying to twist the doorknob of our front door. They tried it smoothly at first, but when they started to get frustrated, the doorknob received twists with more force. Needless to say, I didn't go to see who or what was trying to open it. I decided to stay in my room, hoping that it'd go away after realizing that the door wasn't going to open. I locked both of the doors before going to bed.

The sounds disappeared after a while and I thought it was already over. I was so wrong.

I heard a loud bang now and not long after the first one, came also the second loud bang. Then I managed to hear how the front door creaked open. I was already at the edge of panic attack, something was inside the house! I heard their footsteps, someone was in the kitchen. The sound of different cabinets and drawers getting opened and then closed was clear now.

My first thought was to call the cops, someone was inside my house and searching something. My gaze moved onto the night drawer, but to my horror I realized that my phone wasn't there where it was supposed to be. It didn't help at all when I remembered that I had left it in the first floor, to the living room. Shit, why had I forgot it there? I'm in deep shit now. I couldn't call cops or any help at all, I can't even open my window and shout in the hope of getting help from the neighbours. If the other thing was still outside with it's blue eyes, it'd notice me as well as the thing or a person what was right now in the first floor.

All I could do is just listen in horror how the footsteps moved now into the living room and the same noises came again, drawers being opened and closed. At some point I even heard something getting dropped. The footsteps moved away from the living room shortly after that, they moved a little bit more before finally starting to head toward the stairs. I wished that they weren't going to come up here and look the places, but as everyone knows, I have shitty luck. Instead of making the things happen in the way I wanted, my luck always made them happen in the opposite way. This time it was no different.

The stairs creaked as someone or something was coming to the second floor. I was sure I was having a heart attack at the moment when they were up here. When the footsteps went into the direction of my parents bedroom, I decided that I had to hide now. I couldn't take the risk that the thing would see me. I don't even want to know what would happen if I get caught.

There wasn't any good hiding place in my room. Of course closet was one, but I don't think it'd be clever place. If someone was robbering this house, of course they'd check the closet too. The only choice what was left was hiding under the bed.

As I got under my bed, I heard how the door to the bathroom was opened and then closed. I waited and waited, until I was thinking that maybe they didn't find anything and left. Maybe they were done. I was starting to relax, until I realized that I hadn't heard the creak from the stairs. Whoever or whatever was searching something was standing right outside my room's door. Just standing, maybe listening. It made me feel scared even more. Why didn't they come here? What were they doing? Why my door wasn't opened? I didn't want to, I even hoped that this was still my imagination, but I just knew this wasn't. I was fully awake, I wasn't dreaming and this was really happening. Then I heard it.

The door of my room opened slowly, creaking a little bit and the footsteps started to move into my room. Something was in the room with me now. I feel it, I could even sense it.

The closer the footsteps came, the more I started to notice how sloppy they were. It was unbelievable, like someone was walking with wet feet, like they had just come out of the water or something. Soon my nose caught a scent what made me gag. You know how bad wet dog smells? This was far worse than a wet dog. It wasn't only that, it was like the mixture of different scents. With that wet dog scent was weird scent of a some kind of plant, I have no idea what. Then it was also like something rotten and nasty. On top of that, there was a slight smell of iron. Blood.

I heard how my closet was opened. I tried to see the person a little bit, but I didn't see them. It was like I was watching a shadowy figure, or more like its legs only. The closet was closed soon after and the footsteps moved into the other side of the room. Suddenly I felt how cold the air was, it was starting to be really fucked up situation. The person was in the other side of the room, so I carefully and as silently as possible moved more to the edge of the bed, trying to see more about this intruder. I gasped my air when I saw something red shining in the darkness.

I backed away when I realized that I might have gasped too loud. I could somehow see how the red thing turned and then there was another red shining thing. Two red eyes, I realized. I heard footsteps coming toward my bed. Shit, this is it. I'm going to be discovered and then only heaven knows what's going to happen to me. I can only assume it's not going to be anything good.

The footsteps stopped even though they were not right next to my bed. I kept my hands against my face, trying to breath as quiet as possible. I was pressing myself against the wall and watching forward.

The moonlight what was coming between the curtains revealed two pale legs. Two pale human legs without any shoes or socks. They both looked very muddy, though it didn't seem to leave any kind of tracks behind. The skin was so pale that it looked almost white and you'd see old scars on the legs. The scars were little reddish, like they were still angry and fresh.

I tried to take more looks of the pair of legs, but my view was cut somewhere in the knees. The moonlight didn't light enough to see the person and I didn't want to get closer to get good look either. I moved a little bit though to see the red eyes still shining in the dark, but the person was looking outside the window now.

It felt like the time had stopped. Nothing happened, I was still hiding under the bed and the intruder was staring outside the window. A minute or two passed until finally something happened. I saw how the feet turned around and something dropped right next to them. It was a seaweed, long piece of it. I'd see also how something was dropping on the floor, something liquid. It looked like water, but I wasn't really sure because I couldn't see it very well.

I already thought that the person wasn't going to leave, but I was surprised when the feet started to walk away and disappeared again into the darkness. I didn't see the red eyes either. I waited and then I heard the creak of the stairs, the person was walking back into the first floor.

When I was sure no one was in the house anymore, I finally left my hiding place. I only managed to stood up when I heard a noise again from the backyard. It was a low and angry neigh and then the sound of galloping horse was moving toward the forest and disappeared. My skin had already the goosebumps on it. It wasn't the fact that I heard the horse galloping away. It was the fact that I heard two horses galloping back into the forest. No human footsteps anywhere, they had disappeared. In fact, I never even heard any human footsteps when something was moving in the backyard. Recalling the memories, now I'm sure it was a horse what moved there. Or more like two horses. Was someone riding with one of them? Did the intruder ride with the one what disappeared into the corner when I tried to see what was there?

My gaze moved onto the floor where the seaweed was lying. It was the same kind of what I had found in my backyard once and in the bathtub too. What was going on?

I almost got an heart attack when my phone started to ring in the first floor. I don't know was it very wise to go there, but I didn't feel like anyone else beside me was here anymore. I walked downstairs and while walking there, I realized that the whole house was full of drops of water and even some watery footprints.

It was cold downstairs but the reason for that was discovered soon. The front door was left wide open and the chilly air was coming from there. Even though my phone was ringing, I ignored it and went to close the door. I was sure I was going to see a badly damaged door, but to my surprise the front door was like it's always been. It wasn't broken, at least it didn't look like. The lock wasn't broken either. It was scary, like someone had actually opened it with key. The idea of that scared me a lot and I closed the door, locking it again properly. What the hell had just happened?

I checked the whole first floor and there was more seaweeds on the floor, as well as the water. Was that person soaked and covered with seaweeds? It started to feel like that was the correct answer. The idea though was absurd and crazy. How? It wasn't raining outside, how was it possible that the intruder was soaking wet? I can't understand any of this, nothing makes sense.

All this time my phone was going crazy, ringing like there was no tomorrow. Who the hell was calling this late? I went to get my phone and look who was missing me that much that they were still calling. When I got my phone , I was sure the colour was escaping from my face. The caller ID was unknown and there wasn't even the number showing. I got bad vibes about it, I had really hoped that it was Reiner or Ymir or someone who'd be rude enough to call during this time.

I wasn't sure did I even want to know who was calling me or what they wanted to say. Even though I was having some kind of mental breakdown, I finally decided to answer to the call but I'm not going to say anything. That's the best decision, right?

No one was saying anything in the other end but there was some kind of noise. It was like something was thrown into water. The loud noise gave the indication that the phone was close to some kind of water area. After half of a minute I thought it was enough, there wasn't any other sounds. When I was going to end the call, the loud and high-pitched shriek scared me so much that I dropped my phone onto the floor.

The shrieks were so loud that even though my phone was on the floor, I could still hear them clearly. At first it sounded just a nasty loud bone-chilling scream, but suddenly I realized that there was also words. Words that where hidden there, words that were very silent. The voice sounded like a demon from hell was telling me something. It was so inhuman. I only managed to understand one sentence.

_"You can't escape me..."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time to explain stuff what's been going on, so I saved everything here at the end notes.
> 
> So first of all, the biggest reason why this chapter is late is just pure laziness. December was quite busy month, but after it I've been just playing Alien: Isolation. This chapter was finished somewhere during the January and I sent it to my beta-reader but it's been busy times to her as well. You see, she got studies and that's keeping her busy. If I had sent this chapter to her during December, it'd have probably been updated ages ago. I've been also surfing in Marvel fandom, watching as much Spider-man as I can.
> 
> Anyway, me and my beta-reader came to a conclusion that I might be able to update this without her help. If you wondered why the quality got a little bit or more shittier, that explains it. I don't have beta-reader anymore, I didn't want to bother her no more because she's busy with her studies and I do understand why she doesn't have extra time to check this story. I'm very grateful for everything my beta has already done, thank you really, REALLY much! I hope you still enjoy this story from the perspective of reader! 
> 
> Now I'm on my own and hopefully I can update chapters faster. I've been still kinda lazy at writing, instead trying to avoid it but I decided that it's time to move this story forward. I'm not sure are we actually somewhere in the middle of this, but there's still a lot of things to explore! 
> 
> Before I end my ramblings, I'm going to give you some sneak peek to the upcoming chapters. There's going to be another new character and that character is going to have a big effect in this story ;) I hope you're looking forward to see him! 
> 
> Thank you for reading this chapter and I promise I'll work a lot with the upcoming chapters and update them as soon as possible. See you in the next chapter! ^u^


End file.
